Tha answer to bullying....

[Chris James]

Parents are the answer...this is what it takes, a very angry parent:

http://now.msn.com/n...tistic-boy.aspx

[Cole Parker]

The principal is supposed to check on the teachers. Daily. He (or she as the case may be) is to blame, too, especially as there have been complaints and meetings. Why is it the dad can find out and the principal can't?

The fact the aids were simply reassigned means the principal simply didn't thing what was happening was egregious.

That principal should also be fired. An example has to be made in that school district.

C

[Bruin Fisher]

Heartbreaking. Three cheers for the Dad who's standing up for his son, trying to reverse some of the damage that's been done. There was a time I could have done with my Dad doing something similar, but he swept the problem under the carpet, as did the headmaster. That damaged me, I'll never know how much.

[The Pecman]

Oh, jesus, that is terrible. I've told this story before, but two of my worst memories from Junior High were of different mentally-handicapped people being bullied -- one by a phys ed coach, one by students. I still kick myself for not standing up for them, but I had my own problems, and was already tormented quite a bit as it was.

This father would be well within his rights to sue the living crap out of the school system. There's absolutely no excuse for teachers harassing any students -- autistic, gay, straight, short, fat, tall, or otherwise. Kids have a hard enough time as it is for teachers adding to their problems.

[blue]

I haven't yet brought myself to look at that link.

I had a realization recently. I had good, loving parents, mostly. But they were not perfect, I was (and am) not perfect, and our relationship wasn't always perfect. Of course. That wasn't the realization.

My parents were overprotective; my mom moreso than my dad, but him too, sometimes. Partly, that was because they were average but smart people from conservative backgrounds, raising a kid who was handicapped and sensitive...and gay...though how much of that bit they knew, or knew how to deal with any better than dealing with the handicapped part, I don't know. They tried to deal well with the handicap. (Eyesight.) Mostly, they did, but they were overprotective. The other? Well, my mileage may vary.

My realization was a few of the times that things happened, and they tried to deal with them, and...in retrospect, their solutions were not so positive in those cases. I remember how I felt as a kid and a teen, but looking back now as an adult, I see they...made mistakes in dealing with others...and with me (and maybe with each other) that had effects on me, growing up. One was something I had almost forgotten about, but it came back one morning, waking up, recently. It was strange, that it would occur to me, just out of the blue, waking up like that.

There were a few times, I got the message that I couldn't participate, that I'd be kept from being with others my age, usually because the adults (my parents and someone else) didn't agree. (And as a kid, and now, I think my parents were not right, in those cases.) -- Or the message might be, we set the rules and limits, even if you want to do something.

Only once did I really get tired of that and put my foot down and say no, you've done this so much, I don't believe you'll follow through and let me keep on, even if you let me start like you're saying now. It meant I actually said no and got away with it. It also meant I missed out on an opportunity, because by then, I'd been pulled out of activities like that either two or three times, and I didn't think it'd last this time, either. (I was in junior high then.) Big argument. One of the few times we really fought. I won, or did I? I was never quite sure how it should've turned out. But I believed if I had, they would've pulled me out of the activity again, like had happened several times before. I was very mad and very insistent...and very disappointed and hurt, too.

Looking back, there are a few times I think my parents made mistakes like that.

There are also at least a couple of times, I think my mom or dad tried to reach me and do right. They were not bad people or bad parents; they loved me. But...somehow in those couple of times, with them trying to reach me and do right, and help somehow... I was the one who messed up, because I was young and didn't know how (or if) I could respond to that. (Or in one or two cases, because I was struggling with my feelings (being gay and what that was) and I didn't know what to do, how to handle it, or if I could, and so, I missed a couple of chances, just ordinary stuff, or having fun, or talking.

I'm rambling around, I know, but my point, I guess, is that, growing up, we do things ourselves without understanding the consequences, and our parents do things, also without understanding quite why they're doing what they're doing. Right or wrong, good or bad, outcome positive or negative. **it happens.

Yes, in mulling over things when they came up recently, I had to think how clearly my parents had made some mistakes that shaped me (negatively) in ways they, and certainly I, didn't know about. If they'd known better, they would've done better, but they didn't, they thought they did know better. ...And they were just people, bumbling through like any parents, trying to do what they thought they should.

I also had to see that I'd done some things, growing up, that meant I'd made some mistakes that shaped me too. What if I'd done differently? What would have changed, and what would I be like? But of course, being that kid or teen, I didn't know any better, and I did what I thought at the time, which might've been the only viable choice, or maybe not. It was, though, the choice I made at the time, or how events took place.

But yeah, our parents' support or lack of it, and our own maturity or immaturity growing up, sure does shape things, and we then have to learn or unlearn, when we grow up.

I dunno, life is weird.

[Chris James]

This story ought to be a huge headline since someone has finally stepped up to the plate and slapped the bullies with a major lawsuit:

http://gma.yahoo.com...topstories.html

It may not bring much in the way of monetary reward, but it sends the right message. I am going to try and keep track of this case because it has national implications. Now as for those assholes at Facebook, they should have taken the false pages down and did not...for a year! Perhaps a judge will have something to say to them. We can only hope.

[DKStories]

Parents are the answer.

No wait, parents are the problem when we find the starved body of child in a ditch where the parents dumped it a year ago.

Oh, wait, maybe the problem is that humans are humans and flawed by their very nature. Sometimes it is the teacher that will be the problem, the priest, the politician, or the parent in the home. We have to strive to the best human beings we can be, each and every one of us, each and every day. Instead of looking for who to blame how about looking to improve and make things better so we can find and eliminate these problems quicker?

This parent took a step to finding out what the problem was so he could deal with the issue at hand. His example is a solution that others might find works - or find themselves in prison for doing it because it is illegal in their state. The second link about the cyber-bullying is a good example of doing the best you can to fight back - but it also shows the weaknesses of the system and the problems of a legal society.