Going to Heaven

[Cole Parker]

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could.

St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer.... They waited and waited, and after a couple of months, St. Pete returned. They had a lot of time to talk while waiting, however. During this time, they discussed the pros and cons they were facing. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they really do it, what with the eternal aspect of it all?

"What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together, married forever? What if our love doesn't last?"

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?"

[Merkin]

:accordion[1]: :accordion[1]: :accordion[1]:

Good one. That's worth six accordions.

[Cole Parker]

A person shouldn't be punished for a good joke.

C

[colinian]

OMG, that is so funny!

Colin

[DesDownunder]

Shouldn't have any trouble with getting married or divorced in the alternative place to Heaven, which just goes to prove that both marriage and divorce are pure hell.

(apologies to all those who have found wedded bliss.)

[Chris James]

:accordion[1]: :accordion[1]: :accordion[1]:

Good one. That's worth six accordions.

Hey, I liked the joke! Let's not torture Cole with accordion comments, I think he has had enough. But he's lucky. I could have posted Mrs. Goodman's fourth grade students playing the recorder...all ten of them so out of tune with one another it boggles the mind. That was a flash mob in reverse, I think they had to cancel school that day.

[Merkin]

OMG, I've totally repressed playing the recorder! What a terrible experience! Luckily, we all had to drag our chairs up to the blackboard so we could put our recorder music books in the chalk trough, thus none of us had to face the others. Oh, exquisite torture!

[Cole Parker]

With us, back in the dark ages when I went to elementary school, it was fluteaphones. Anyone remember those? James is probably the only one old enough. The were plastic recorders. Schools couldn't afford real recorders. Talk about a funky sounding chorus of intruments.

C

[Merkin]

I'm not familiar with the Fluteaphone. Did you play it sidewise like a flute? We started out in grade 3 with Tonettes, a plastic gizmo with fingerholes and shaped, oddly, like something you might keep in your bedside table (hem). They emitted either a high pitch squeal or a tone much like a foghorn. Then we "graduated" to plastic recorders in grade Four. Needless to say, any nascent interest for music in performance was severely impaired.

James

[Cole Parker]

Here, I found a picture of a girl playing one. As I remember it, ours looked a little cheapter than that. Thinner plastic. More like a whistle, but built to be fingered something like a clarinet. Sort of a poor man's recorder.

And here's a vidoe of it being played in an ensemble, with a sound like I remembe ours was!

C

[DesDownunder]

Make them stop!

[Gee Whillickers]

Ah yes, the venerable recorder, or fluteaphone. Otherwise known to parents as, "The Teacher's Revenge."

[Paul_and_Paco]

Perfect!!

He could look on the bottom of the sea. I understand that is where they keep the extra lawyers.