VOTE

[Cole Parker]

Everyone, get out and vote. Let your voice, your opinion be heard.

In some states, the vote will even be counted!

C

[Chris James]

Only in America can we have the election officials who are members of one political party counting the votes of the other party's voters. Is it any wonder why Florida has such a disgusting track record of voting irregularity? From misprinted absentee ballots, to closed polling sites, the county that surrounds me is a terrible example of partisan politics led by the Republican party.

Voting is a citizen's responsibility and for those who feel their votes have been cast aside I see a tide of lawyers entering the fray. But at least this isn't Ohio. How can any state government tell us that their system is so flawed that it might take several weeks before we know the outcome? Perhaps the Justice Department will have some clue, but that circus is still ahead. Maybe we should hire some accountants from India, or some bean counters from China to run the whole thing.

[Camy]

I'd definitely vote, but I can't.

[Cole Parker]

You get the opinion that your vote would only be meaningful if you lived in Ohio.

Which of course is balderdash.

C

[Merkin]

Forget Ohio. How about Arizona? Here's my plan for a way that all of our gay votes can actually count and in fact influence the outcome of a presidential election: we should all arrange ways to meet the residential requirements of the state of Arizona. Arizona has eleven electoral votes, and those votes have gone to the Republicans in all recent elections except for 1996, when they went to Clinton (over Dole) by a very slim margin. If massive numbers of gay voters register to vote in Arizona we can not only turn that state from red to blue, we can in fact turn the outcome of any presidential election where eleven electoral votes will make the difference--and that would seem to be the case in our modern presidential elections.

Heck, I'd go to Arizona long enough to establish residence every four years. It has a fine climate compared to many states and I could tone up my tan. Plus if we all go there in sufficient numbers we can flip Arizona back into the pro-gay marriage column, where it was briefly between 2006 and 2008. Seems like a win-win to me.

[Cole Parker]

You can't really work on your tan there because it's about 120 outdoors in the summer. They don't have heaters on their pools, they have coolers. They're too hot to swim in otherwise. But it's not all bad -- it occasionally gets all the way down to the high nineties at night.

Arizona is almost unliveable in the summer. Without A/C, it would be.

But I see a flaw in your plan, James. Many states run neck and neck elections. Take all gay people out of them, you might gain Arizona but lose a handful of other swing states.

Virginia is so considered this time around. You'd probably be better staying home. We need Virginia!

C