In search of perfect comfort

[Bruin Fisher]

Oh, hopeful pilgrim, questing wide,

Searching far on every side.

Will you find the holy grail,

Or just another abject fail?

 

Cotton boxers patterned bright

Fabric loose but waistband tight.

Swinging free, I must report

These bloody things give no support!

 

Tighty Whiteys, Hanes et al

Must-haves when in hospital.

Clean on so there’s no disgrace

When the doctor’s groin-to-face.

 

These and others even tighter,

Bikini briefs, those skimpy blighters

Squish the privates nice and neat

But flatten them into defeat.

 

When nature calls and you must find

Your todger, precious to mankind

You peel apart the sweaty mass

Glued against your thighs and ass.

 

Boxer Briefs – a compromise?

Support aplenty, gonad-wise.

As for squishing, just as bad

And as for access, what a fad.

 

Oh weary pilgrim, searched in vain

Don’t give up, try, try again.

Find, at last, your pot of gold

Don’t stick with saggy, baggy, old.

 

Here, at last, is something new:

Pouch underwear? What? Who knew?

Inside, there’s a little pocket

Custom-made, a place to dock it!

 

Finally, finally, listen up:

My crown jewels cradled in their cup

Apart and airy, ventilated,

Solved the problems that I hated.

 

Access, too, is simple, neat,

A horizontal fly, replete

With thumb tag so I always find

The pistol, quick draw, fire, no bind.

 

My dong and boys have never been

So cossetted, sweat-free, and clean

All day long they feel so grand,

Held gently, almost like a hand.

 

At last, at last, my search is over

My private bits reside in clover.

My lovely, comfy underwear

Is worth announcing, good to share!

 

Bruin Fisher 2023

[Cole Parker]

Gonad-wise.  What a great word!  I'll have to remember that.

Wonderful poem, Bruin!

C

[Merkin]

l kinda like groin-to-face as a medical term, suits many doctors I've encountered.  Those pouchy bloomers seem a bit optimistic, don't you think?