"Excelsior" by David Clarke

[Rutabaga]

Found here.

There is no genuine earlier thread for this story, although @Nigel Gordon swears he posted to one.  Evidently any earlier thread got lost in the server change.

Anyway, this is one of the long-form Picks from the Past this month.  I feel certain I must have read it lo-o-o-o-o-ng ago, but if so I have forgotten enough about it that this new journey is rewarding.

I'm only in Chapter 2 (out of 34) but so far it's a great yarn.  And nothing really weird has happened yet.

R

[Altimexis]

I remember this story quite well and am rereading it again in bits and pieces. I've tried to contact the author, but the email address listed no longer works. If anyone knows of the whereabouts of David Clarke or how to contact him, please post it here.

Excelsior is one of four sci-fi stories in a series that explores alternative versions of earth. I believe it was posted last, but it's listed first on David's index page and it seems more appropriate as a first entry. It's probably the weakest of the four and so even if you don't particularly care for this one, I'd encourage you to read the three Nexus stories, as they're all excellent.

I think I can mention a few things here without giving too much away. If you'd prefer reading without any spoilers whatsoever, stop reading now.

The premise of the story is that the main character was born in an alternative reality and literally fell through a spacial rift when he was ten, landing in our world. It is in seeking to learn more about his past that he and his best friend go on a quest when they're fourteen, and discover a portal into that other world. It is a world where the Americas were never explored. There was no discovery of electricity, nor even of petroleum. Twenty-first century Europe is still heated by coal and what little industrialization there is, is powered by coal-fired steam engines. The skies are ruled by hydrogen-filled air battleships and wars are fought mostly overhead rather than on the ground or by sea.

I can forgive a lot when it comes to sci-fi, but I do like the science to at least be plausible. I find the notion that the Americas would be known but never explored to be preposterous. It goes against everything in human history. It's in our genes to explore and colonize. It's part of human DNA. The use of hydrogen-filled battleships floating in the skies is even harder to swallow. I'll say one thing - the battles would be over very quickly. I can think of possible strategies isolate the hydrogen in small, puncture-resistant, fireproof packets, but it would be difficult without plastics, which are derived from petroleum. Speaking of which, the progenitor thought it would be a good idea to keep the alternate world in the dark with respect to petroleum, given all of the negative effects it's had on the environment. He obviously wasn't aware that 19th-century London was notorious for its thick, sooty, coal-fueled haze.

I don't mean to turn anyone off of reading Excelsior. It's an exceptionally good read. It's also a great lead-in to the Nexus series, which is outstanding. I hope to see those stories modernized as well, to take advantage of the current use of stylesheets.

A.

[Rutabaga]

I think I read at least the initial parts of Nexus before. This one seems entirely new to me. 
 

R

[Jason Rimbaud]

So I wrote a long comment and then realized it wasn't fair, as I hadn't finished the story. As of right now, I am on Chapter 19 since yesterday. I started it at the doctors office and was stuck there for six hour or so, so I had a lot of time on my hands. 

So I saved my comment, and after I finish the story, maybe some of the things I didn't like will be addressed by the end, so for now, I am enjoying this story and can't wait to finish it.

J

 

 

[Cole Parker]

In any long story we read there'll be things we don't like or that don't make sense.  But if we are engaged till the end, there are many more things to like.  Are you a half-full or half-empty sort of critic?

C

[Jason Rimbaud]

On an intellectual level I reject your premise that you can only be a half-full (ignoring the holes and inconsistencies) or a half-empty critic (pointing out ways we believe an author has failed). There are other options. 

That being said, to our earlier private conversation, there is a fine line between bashing someone and critiquing someone, especially when that someone hasn't asked for that critique.

My comment that I did not post, but saved, was more on my guessing where the story was heading and my guesses on how certain characters were going to behave. I am now on Chapter 29 and all my earlier assumptions proved to be correct. This is neither good nor bad. Knowing I was right is far more rewarding.

Either way, I can't wait until later on this afternoon when I will have time to finish the last five chapters. I am thoroughly enjoying this tale. Yesterday, was the first day in probably a year I did not spend a single moment writing for myself, because each time I had a free moment, I rushed back to this story. 

So in this instance, I am neither a half-full or half-empty critic but more of an educated guesser based on patterns I saw in the narrative and my reading the author's personality in relation to his thought process on teenagers. I'm going to leave my thoughts rattling around my empty head unless someone asks for it. If I had two thumbs, I'd stick them way up for this entertaining tale. 

J (who is now on day 478 without a day off, except that's a lie, two months ago my husband sent me to Vegas for two days so it really should I'm on day 478 with only two days off in all that time but somehow day 478 without a day off sounded more badass)

 

[Cole Parker]

J

Funny, but I thought of that private coversation, too, when I was writing a response to your post.  Glad we disucssed this topic specifically.

I think what you said here was very important: negative feedback, when not requested, can be very harmful.  Many writers have confidence problems, and it doesn't take much to discourage further attemps.  It's something we all need to be aware of.  Criticism meant to be helpful may not be taken that way.

Also, I agree that guessing where a story is going is fun to do, but can be disastrous if it's posted before the story gets to that point.  If one is right in his guesses, it preempts the author's attempt to keep his story suspensful.  If it's wrong, it can mess up the tale as it was meant to be laid out.  It's fine to tell of guesses one had after the fact, but awful before that and very unfair to the writer.  

I've had people do that with my stories.  It's very hurtful.

I think you and I are on the same page.  I'm looking forward to that magnum opus.

C

[Altimexis]

For what it’s worth, I attempted to contact the author before posting here. Unfortunately, that email bounced back, so I tried sending it from a different email address and that too bounced back. The email was much more extensive than what I posted here and was much more of a constructive critique. I made specific suggestions of simple ways to have made the science plausible.

Non-sequiturs detract from a story, no matter how brilliant they may seem. I’ve certainly received my share of negative comments over the years. They have helped me immeasurably.

As an aside, one of my pet peeves in sci-fi is that in most stories, all of the aliens out there are intent on attacking earth. Why are we so special they all want to conquer our little planet? Nevertheless, that never stopped me from reading those stories or watching those movies or TV programs.

[Talo Segura]

This is still a work in progress, although it's pretty much definitive regarding email addresses given with stories posted here.

Connectable Authors

Alan Dwight - alantfraserdwight@gmail.com - response same day

Alien Son - as@alienson.com plus contact by online message form - response same day

Altimexis - altimexis@yahoo.com - response same day

Bensiamin - bensiamin99@gmail.com - response same day

Camy (Michael Wengert) - camy.sussex@gmail.com - response same day

Cole Parker - colepark@gmail.com - response same day

dcorvus - diuscorvus@yahoo.com

Engor - engor@laposte.net

Frederic - FM352@proton.me - response same day

Gil Saul - gilsaul9@gmail.com - response same day

Ivor Slipper - ivor.slipper@gmail.com - response same day

James Savik - jamessavik@gmail.com - response same day

Joe - graflz825@gmail.com - response same day

Joe Casey - joe_casey_writer-mail@yahoo.com 

John S Lloyd aka Seth Newman - rawlingbros@gmail.com - response same day

Mark Friedman - forcewielder2000@yahoo.com

Mark Peters - mp_ponyboy@hotmail.com - response same day

Merkin - rufdraft20@yahoo.com

Michael Arram - mike.arram@yahoo.co.uk - response same day

Nigel Gordon - NigelGordon1948@gmail.com

Pedro - pedro.fuente@outlook.com - response same day

Talo Segura - talo.segura.x@gmail.com - response same day

Trab - BK_Trab@shaw.ca

William King - william.king.writer@gmail.com - response same day

 

[Jason Rimbaud]

 

17 hours ago, Cole Parker said:

J

Funny, but I thought of that private coversation, too, when I was writing a response to your post.  Glad we disucssed this topic specifically.

I think what you said here was very important: negative feedback, when not requested, can be very harmful.  Many writers have confidence problems, and it doesn't take much to discourage further attemps.  It's something we all need to be aware of.  Criticism meant to be helpful may not be taken that way.

C

On an intellectual level, I disagree with the above statement, strongly. It's not my job to encourage or give other writers confidence in something they have done. Bad writing is bad writing. And if they can be discouraged to stop writing based on something someone else says, then they really aren't serious about growing as a writer. This reminds me of everyone gets a trophy there is no losers mentality. 

However, Awesome Dude Forums probably isn't the best place for those kinds of criticisms as we should be welcoming so the site will continue to grow. Unless they ask for a critique of their work, be mindful of others. In that vein, I have decided that the conversation we had is probably the best course to follow. I'm just an asshole not unreasonable.

I never really believed what I was told as a child, if you don't have nothing nice to say remain quiet. Stupid people will never know they are stupid if you don't tell them. This also refers to me and I have been called out on my stupidity multiple times this week alone. 

Something came up yesterday so I have yet been able to put this story in my rearview yet. Maybe today. 

J

PS: Talo, if you want you can add my updated email address to your list, jasonrimbaud@gmail.com I know my email is outdated. 

[Cole Parker]

I guess I have to admit to a moral failing: I have never felt any responsibility for telling stupid people they are stupid.  Isn't it their responsibility to discover this for themselves?  And much kinder?  If they're really stupid, it's possible they'll never realize it, of course.  I would think the world would keep turning on its axis even if I neglected to so inform them.  And I might not need medical attention for a black eye.

C

[Jason Rimbaud]

As always, the world would be kinder if everyone thought as you. Which is why you are Cole and I'm a POS from Philly who grew up with everyone speaking their minds for good or for ill. 

I just finished this tale, I enjoyed it 90 out of 100. To "A's" point, some of the science made me cringe, and everyone lived happily ever after, but it was fun and I enjoyed it though the protagonists were on the young side for me. 

As a thought exercise, I wrote an outline of what I would have done differently and how I would have ended the story. Not because the author sucked or anything, just got my juices flowing. Maybe I'll tackle that idea at a later date, but for now, I'm back to my own horrible work about a little town called Glacier Bay. 

J