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Cole Parker

The Smart Ass

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A pretty and demure young lady was in her first year as a lecturer at a large university. She was quite proud of the way things had gone so far during the term and was giving her first big exam the next day, the first mid-term of her career.
She wanted her students to do well because she hated the idea of having to flunk anyone. So, in her final comments to her students before ending class that day, she had a few remarks about the exam.
"This will cover everything we've gone over so far this semester. No trick questions -- just the chance for you to show me what you've learned. It'll also show me how well I've done, and what I need to do better. Now, there is one last thing I have to say. I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow, and if you're late, don't expect to get extra time. Being here on time, ready and prepared to perform is your responsibility and one you need to take seriously.
"So, no excuses." Then, to insert a lighter touch, she said, "I might, of course, consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it: no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart aleck student in the back of the room who been trying to flirt with the young woman all semester raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
"Well, I'd say, if you expect that may be the case, you have between now and then to learn to write with your other hand."
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On a slightly different note, I was always referred to as a smartass, not smart ass. I do believe there is a different nuance, not that I care to be either.

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