All Activity

“Explores” is a story about lives lived in quiet satisfaction, small in scope but large in meaning. Thank you for it, Alan. https://www.awesomedude.org/alan_dwight/explores/index.htm

Before that article I read the other day, I had never seen him referred to as "G. Perry". And when the other 24 pitchers mentioned in the piece were all referred to by full name, it just struck me as a little weird. It was almost like the AI big brother had noticed my story and decided to include that article in my news feed just for me!

Thank you. Insofar as the story appeals appeals to readers, I owe much to the many excellent writers whose work I have read here over the past decade or so. There are many outstanding writers here and I hope that I have managed to at least figure out some of what makes their work so good and do the same in my writing.

Just to follow up on the list of the best pitchers, G. Perry would be Gaylord Perry. He was mostly known for throwing a spitball when spitballs had been banished from the game. Now, recently, pitchers coming off the mound at the end of each inning are chacked for foreign substances. Back when Gaylord was pitching, it was hilarious watching him get checked and all the places they checked on his body and uniform. He was the only one being checked like that. He was a prickly character, not the friendliest man in the league. He was a very good pitcher. He had a brother playing in the majors at the same time with the less unusual name of Jim.

Nico, Your post wasn't lengthy. It was just like mine! 😀 I'm stunned that Incident is only your fourth story. It's an amazing work of fiction with well-developed characters and a complex, but easily-followed plot. Most of us have to write multiple stories before achieving this level of quality, if we ever do. Congratulations! Now, I expect to see you post new stories on a regular basis. Everyone has their own style of writing and genres that work out best for them. Few of us have Cole's talent for crossing over into numerous writing styles and genres and doing all of them well. I'll be interested in seeing what you're capable of. Incident is a well-developed, character-driven novella about high school drama. Most of Cole's writing consists of novellas - even some of his short stories would qualify - but I think his most memorable stories are his full-length novels. Tim, Josh, Evolving, Duck Duck Goose, Distorted Perspectives and Dust are stories I frequently go back to read again, as there's so much to unpack in them. Writing a story with over 100k words is challenging and requires a commitment beyond what many are able to give, yet the results can be incredibly rewarding. I'm not suggesting that writing a full-length novel should be your next goal, but I think you're capable of it and I'd love to read what you produce. I naïvely started out writing a novel for my first effort. It was apparently good enough to get me a spot as an AD author and it's still hosted here, but it was positively awful and I won't even reference it now. I received a lot of praise for my effort, but it was the constructive criticism from the one reader who took the time to tear my story apart that I appreciated the most. From that critique, I learned much about character development and the importance of developing subplots. I prefer writing short story series because each story has a defined timeframe and yet I can fully develop the characters as the series progresses. Short story series work well within the context of the unpredictable nature of my migraines. That said, only a full-length novel allows me to fully develop plots and subplots, complete with clues, deception and distractions along the way. My last novel, Brilliant Boy Billionaire, was nearly a half-million words long and took over a year to write, but I'm pleased with how it turned out and I'm satisfied putting those characters to bed for the time being. Still, writing it left a significant hiatus in my publications while I worked on the first draft. I'd recommend against writing something that long! I hope you will make AwesomeDude your primary home. We might not have the activity of some of the other sites, but we have by far the highest quality of online gay fiction that can be found. Incident is an excellent addition to our archive and I look forward to reading more. -Steve aka Altimexis

I didn't go into a lot of detail with Nicky. But hopefully there was enough information in the final chapter for you to get a sense of his role in the story and why he behaved the way he did. I think his actions, taken in the context of the entire story, are consistent given my conception of who he is... which I hope I conveyed to you adequately for the resolution of his character's role to make sense, even if it might not have been entirely satisfying.

My apologies in advance for what will likely be a very lengthy post- or perhaps even a series of posts. I first want to thank everyone who contributed to the publication of "The Incident at Chastity Falls". Cole Parker for his superb editing. Alien Son for taking the words I wrote and turning them into a very pleasing publication format. The memory of Mike, who started this website and was its guiding spirit for so many years. And to Rutabaga for the work he does to keep this site running and, most particularly, for starting this thread that helped me gather so much feedback from readers and talented authors about my work. I also want to thank everyone who contributed to this thread or who wrote to me directly. Hearing from each of you what you thought about this story was invaluable to me. From my perspective, writing is a collaboration between writer and reader. A writer can do a technically proficient job of putting words on paper and perhaps tell a decent story. But if that story doesn't engage an audience enough to sustain their interest, inspire their emotions, make them think, and leave them with a feeling of satisfaction when it's finished, it isn't a success. Hearing from each of you what engaged you about this story and what was disappointing should help me to do better next time. So thank you to Rutabaga and to each of you that took that time to share your thoughts with me. For me, this was a fascinating process. "Incident" is only the fourth story I've published and is easily the longest. The writing required a different approach than the shorter stories I have written, and I think I've learned a few things about writing longer stories along the way. Trying to balance a main story line, a handful of lesser story lines, and keep it all in the context of a theme isn't as easy as I thought it would be! I also discovered something that I've occasionally heard professional writers talk about: the way a story can sometimes start to write itself. For me, it was a character that almost took over the story at times. Nicky Crandall didn't even exist in my original notes, outline and early rough drafts of this story. He emerged to fill a need. I wanted something that would demonstrate that Jason's crew didn't all look at the world the same way all the time; that there could be tension and conflict inside their group, even if they often appeared to be of a single mind on most things. Nicky and his silly story about being "stroked" during gym class popped into my head, and it also seemed like a good idea to add him to reinforce the idea that I was developing that the outcome of Ross' personal growth would lead him into an adult life of service. Before I knew it, Nicky was everywhere! All I had to do was start to ponder how to fill some need or other in the plot and he was there with his hand raised demanding that I put him in the game. So I did. And by the time the story concluded I found that I liked him as much any character in the story. A couple of readers also commented on how much they liked Nicky. It seems surprising that a story that I thought was already pretty well developed can suddenly deviate from the planned course and have a fairly powerful effect on readers and writer, but it happened! After the story concluded, several posters here commented about the length of the epilogue. And while I had my reasons for that feature, the bottom line is that it didn't work for some readers. And that's good to know. Generally speaking, I agree with the perspective of those who were disappointed in the lengthy conclusion. I prefer stories that wrap up the main conflict and then leave enough information to give readers room to use their imagination to ponder what might happen next. The three short stories I have posted at another site all conclude that way. I have a story under development that, at least in present form, concludes with the protagonist in a hospital bed amidst a crisis that either marks the conclusion of his struggle or the conclusion of his life. The original version of this story- which essentially began as a couple of related scenes in my mind that became "the incident", as well as a sense of what had preceded those scenes- concluded with Perry and Ross (or Jason, as he was know at the time) walking away from the falls with Ross pondering the life lessons he has learned and sharing with readers that he and Perry managed to become close friends despite Ross' struggle to keep his interest in Perry under control and that a few years later he stood up with Perry at his wedding and that Perry returned the favor for Ross and Brian a year later. I was doing okay at that point! But then the story grew a bit. And instead of being just about Perry and the incident, with Ross as a facilitating character, the story became about Ross' personal growth and the incident just a catalyzing factor in that growth. It made sense at the time. It really did! But in that context, I didn't see the incident as the conclusion to the story but only as a critical incident that helped Ross develop into the person he would become. And in that sense, I thought the story needed a bit more at the end to show what Ross had accomplished, with the understanding that process was still under way, giving readers room for speculation and their own conclusion there. I thought that a few pieces of information that suggested Ross was still working to be the person he wanted to be, and that there was still room for conflict that would test him, might be sufficient. Instead, I probably got a bit carried away giving too much of a happy ending to the "good" guys. It may have been because I liked them so much. Or maybe I thought I needed the positive outcomes to reinforce the message about moral character and its benefits. But it clearly didn't work for everyone. It's a lesson I'll carry with me into my next story. There are probably a couple of brief replies to make to comments posted since I last visited this thread. Rather than increase this already lengthy post, I'll do that separately. But I do have one brief and strange note to add here. A few days ago I was reading a story on line about the people the author considered the twenty-five greatest pitchers in MLB history. Among the Walter Johnsons, Cy Youngs, Bob Fellers, Bob Gibsons, etc. was one person identified only as "G. Perry". Maybe that shouldn't have freaked me out as much as it did, but it certainly got my attention! Thanks to those of you who read this to conclusion for your indulgence and for your patience. And thanks once again to everyone who helped make writing this story a great experience for me!

Big T Trauma There is trauma, and then there is TRAUMA. Some therapists call it Big T Trauma. It's not caused by harsh words. This is not to disparage the ordinary traumas we deal with occasionally. This is no shit, life-wrecking big ticket trauma. The kind that marks you indelibly for life. Big T Trauma comes about from: Natural Disasters War Accidents Assault with injury Rape Physical/Sexual Abuse There are several factors that influence outcomes: Duration of the Event - Wars or abuse that last years will be different from a mugging or tornado that lasts minutes. Support - If support is immediately available. Medical Care - If injured, medical care is available. Shame - whether the victim will seek help. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder No one knows why some people can go, fight in a war and feel no ill effects, and another soldier will be broken by the experience. It is a heavily studied phenomenon, and no one can tell you why exactly. We do know what it looks like. Trauma can rewire you for survival, but this rewiring job isn't optimized for living life. For instance: many soldiers who fought in the Korean War couldn't sleep at night because NK soldiers would use the dark to infiltrate UN lines and cut throats. This keeps him alive in combat, but makes him a poor fit for an 8-5 job. PTSD has several ugly hallmarks that make life difficult. Hypervigilance - the nervous system is on high alert constantly. This makes a person look jittery all the time. Sleep Disturbances - difficulty falling or staying asleep, insomnia and nightmares Chemical Dependency - PTSD suffers often use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate for their symptoms and create even worse problems for themselves Flashbacks - the event replays in your head Intrusive Thoughts - part of the survival imperative. For example, if you go into an unfamiliar building, you look for a quick way out just in case. Avoidance - you desperately don't want to think or talk about IT. Mood Disorders - depression and anxiety Negativity and hopelessness Suicidal ideation Folks, this is as ugly as it gets. PTSD is challenging to treat, difficult to live with, and hard to get the sufferer to even acknowledge it. This shit kills people. I'll end this here, and pick it up next week. This photo from WW 2 is the classic example of the 1000 Yard Stare.

On the other hand, there are stories, especially on Gay Authors and on Nifty, whose authors seem unable to let them go even though their expiration date has long passed.

Remember the prime time soap opera, Dallas? They undid an entire disastrous season by simply turning it into a dream. Or then there was the TV series, St. Elsewhere. The series finale concluded with an epilogue in which it was revealed that the whole story had been nothing more than the fantasies of an autistic teenage boy. Talk about insulting the audience!

killing your problems has been a tried and exhausted technique that never pleases. Maybe he didn't plan it to end that way but the narrative got away from him.

Thankfully both FrontPage and Internet Explorer are now history. Not a moment too soon. R

My counterpoint to your Ted Louis anecdote is the novel "Hotel" by Arthur Hailey. He entwines together a multitude of separate and intricate story lines that develop through most of the story and seem almost impossible to resolve, then [spoiler alert] solves a large number of them by having a hotel elevator suddenly fail and crash to the bottom, killing the key players and mooting the issues. I could not believe how sleazy that tactic was. R

I'm not particularly crazy about epilogues either for a number of reasons. A well-written, concise epilogue can help to tie up loose ends and provide context. A long epilogue can bring finality to a story and in that regard, Nico did a better job than most. What I absolutely hate is when an author writes a lengthy story over a period of years, with scores of chapters, only to tie everything up in a single chapter. A good example of that is Ted Louis' Joel Series, which ran for some 20 years with more than 250 chapters, divided into eight books. It covered a period of only four or five years, but then ended the series in a single chapter that covered something like fifty years. That final chapter felt rushed and unrelated to everything that came before. It's much better to tie things up by covering a limited timespan, leaving it to the reader to imagine what happened in the lives of the primary characters after that. Cole and I have gone back and fourth over the years in our communications regarding the role of sequels. Cole generally likes to finish a story and then move on to the next one, and he very rarely writes sequels. I on the other hand prefer to write story series with open-ended stories that leave room for sequels. Once I breathe life into characters, I like to develop them as fully as I can and to keep them around for a while. As Cole would say, I have trouble letting go. I do ultimately end my story series in one way or another. I capped off my Naptown Tales series by jumping well into the future and writing an entire novel that covered the interval in a series of flashbacks. Brilliant Boy Billionaire was one of the few stories written in its entirety as a novel, with a concluding book that jumped 13 years into the future, but left room for a future sequel. Conversations With Myself was told entirely by looking back into the past in 7 separate timeframes, but then the main character kept melding with time, changing everything, so there was an epilogue to explain what really happened. Ultimately, there will be an ending to my New York Stories series as well. I guess what I'm getting at is that there are many ways to bring a story to a satisfying conclusion. I really enjoyed reading Nico's story, the Incident at Chastity Falls, but would have preferred a much shorter epilogue that left much more to my imagination. Then again, the story began with the premise of remembering a pivot point ten years in the past, so in that sense it was a fitting conclusion. More to the point, I think Incident was one of the best stories I've read at AD that looks at the moral dilemmas faced by a teen in high school. The context of bullying by gay rather than straight teens was different, but the way the situation resolved itself was all too realistic. Had Perry been a girl who was stripped naked, there would have been consequences that likely involved jail time for some of the antagonists involved. Because Perry was a boy, they essentially got away with it. The teens in the story handled it entirely themselves, leaving the teenage bullies to go on to become adult bullies. Not that time spent in jail would have changed that, but it might have forced the school administration to take a more hands-on approach. Nico, I hope you have more stories in the works, as I can't wait to read your next one.

I liked every bit of this story. It ended better than I was anticipating. I was thinking there would be arrests, but instead of an explosion, Perry was able to come down from the falls gracefully and into a group of friends able and willing to support and protect him.

I'm not sure I want to commit so much time when I'm in the midst of writing one of my stories. I'm already behind schedule on that one. I remember Microsoft FrontPage, but as a Mac user, I never was tempted to try it. As I recall, it generated code that was marginally better than MS Word,. In some ways it was even worse. Microsoft's take on compatibility was to use brute force to make the text appear as the author intended it, and if the browser didn't handle it well, then the user should just switch to Internet Exploiter. Case closed. FrontPage predated smartphones and was never intended for use on a screen that small, nor for today's HD or UHD displays, for that matter. Only Microsoft would think it was a good idea to generate hundreds or even thousands of style definitions, and then to generate dozens of lines of code to format each paragraph. It's a wonder IE functioned at all when it had to deal with all of that code. Of course if you bother to inspect any commercial website today, you'll find it loaded with trackers and other useless code, all aimed at collecting and utilizing your private data.

I'm not nearly as down on epilogues. This one may have gone on longer than necessary, but it didn't really bother me that much. It definitely did shift the tone of the story. But I think of Cole's epilogue in "Duck Duck Goose," particularly the scene with Matt, Kevin and Becky's son Ben, and the scene with Brent Colliers's son in the principal's office. I thought those vignettes really added to the overall story. Every author and every reader brings something different. The most I might do with this story is shorten the epilogue a bit. R

I don't generally like epilogues, certainly they serve to wrap up a story, but they also define that story and the history of the characters and in so doing take away how the reader might have imagined the future. I believe stories are usually better left open and in this tale it was enough to know Perry was saved and he wasn't the gay idol everyone imagined. This was an excellent book up to the finish which left Ross with Brian and Nicky somewhat unexplained. Perry was talked down dramatically from the brink, all the relationships were tied up neatly, Dante, who knows? I enjoyed the story right up to the incident, the summary ending was disappointing because it was just that, a summary with no understanding or detail. The story transitioned from the detailed introspection and self-discovery to... this is how nearly everybody ended up. So, I loved the story, but would skip the epilogue.

I'm just stunned. Losing friends never gets any easier.

Friends -- This came in this morning from Jeff at the storylover.us site: I wanted to reach out to you before I simply can't type anymore. I have contact with Comicality and his family due to his recent illness and was informed earlier this evening that on Tuesday, he lost that battle. She said he was his normal "self" right up to the very end and his family was with him. All the sites that we host for him will remain and we are going to need to regroup to figure out how Imagine Magazine can proceed. Could you please let the AwesomeDude community know? This is such a huge loss for everyone and I want to make sure those who knew him know what happened. Thanks, and best wishes, - Jeff More discussion here and here. And thanks to the AD forum member (who apparently prefers to stay out of the limelight) who referred this message to me. R

I've received news that Comicality (Comsie), well known and much-loved for his gay stories, passed away this week after a lengthy illness. There's a touching tribute to him at Gay Authors. ~ John

I've churned through a lot of it. It's a neat little urban fantasy if you're into it.

This refurbished Pick from the Past is found here. The story was first serialized at AD in the 2005-2006 time frame. @Alien Son asked me to go through and bring it up to modern web coding standards as a prelude to making it an April Pick from the Past. It was a somewhat arduous task, because the old-style Microsoft FrontPage coding is awful and difficult to update, but it is now completed. This story is different from any I can recall reading here, and has intriguing intertwined story lines. It is long, and will require some time commitment. And it is full of surprises. If you have a chance, take a look at it. And let me know if you see any glitches that I missed. R