Somewhere In Between

Stopping it was the first mature thing you've done with him. Good for you. The raccoon approves if that means anything.

if only that was the end of this story. but its not. im hungover and feel sick. ill write more about this later.jason r

Commiserations.

I don't think I would've done the same thing. That was a great decision, Jason. If you're not doing fine right now, I hope you'll be later.Rad

How in HELL'S NAME did you get Cole Parker to write you into a story like that?

Hmm. Maybe I got that the wrong way around, and you're feeding HIM the story lines and characters.Then again, maybe truth IS stranger than fiction. The high road is a lonely place.

Or is Cole the face I see outside my window? Jason R. (pulls the blinds shut and ties them tight)

I literally jumped in excitement every five seconds... but you made the right decision :D.Maddy (:

Yeah. It's sounding like it's going the same way it did once. Nuh-uh. Bad way to go. I think he's only looking for someone to experiment with.Like Menzo states it in GA:"He's trying to have the cake and eat it too." And I bet when it comes to choosing, he'd choose the safer bet - the girl. :(

Or is Cole the face I see outside my window? Jason R. (pulls the blinds shut and ties them tight)

Yeah, Cole's your conscience. Listen to him :)

Let's see, Wibby gives me advice about taking Cole's advice.....hmmmm....Either way I go I'm fucked.Jason R.PS: Guess what happened yesterday?Have you guessed yet?Anyway, after Sunday...You know, I'll just right another entry. PS to the PS: Raccoons rule and Cole's advice is always good.

Let's see, Wibby gives me advice about taking Cole's advice.....hmmmm....Either way I go I'm fucked.Jason R.PS: Guess what happened yesterday?Have you guessed yet?Anyway, after Sunday...You know, I'll just right another entry. PS to the PS: Raccoons rule and Cole's advice is always good.

*waits for the next entry*Maddy (:

Sometimes we do the "right" thing because it makes us feel good. Other times we do it becuase we have to, even though we hate to. Me-thinks if you would have given in to your urges you would have been sated for the moment, but sober times would have just brought regret and disappointments in both yourself and with the fact that he will still go back to the girl and play it straight. You ever thought about having a heart-to-heart with him, put all your cards on the table, and be ready to (worse case) end it once and for all? I'm no dating counsilor and I've been out of the dating scene for about 2 years now (damn, that long?) so my advice is nothing but what I feel is a logical, straight-up approach. That and I have little patience for trivial 'love' games.Just do me one thing, and take it easy on the drinking. It's okay to go out with friends and get tanked for the good reasons like having fun. It's never good to look for answers or to hide in the bottom of a bottle. I was headed down that road myself before I was even of age, but, in true Nick fashion, I got tanked at a drill weekend and blacked out. Started off in the barracks where I killed a pint of Bacardi Superior in a Liter of Coke (now that's heavy-handed drink right there). When we moved to the NCO club I proceed to buy myself 6 rum and cokes and someone else bought me 2 jack and cokes. They don't make 'em weak there either. I was coherent until around midnight, my battle had left me about half an hour prior and I made the 10 minute trek back to the barracks. I guess it ended up taking me 30 minutes becuase aparently I called my BF and talked to him the whole way back. Some other soldier from the unit staying above us approached me on the floor we were staying. Not knowing who he was and being plastered I became defensive and when I went to push him away from me I stepped on his foot. Well he was tanked too so he fell over but when he did he could move his foot and ended up shattering his ankle. I was almost seperated and was put on 'probation' for a year. To this day I still get comments from other soldiers about me being a "badass bruiser' and beating people up even though that's not me at all. I mean I will if I have to but I'm generally non-confrontational. Even a Sgt Maj brought me up in conversation to one of my Sgt's the other day. This event was also at the end of a string of 4 or 5 blackouts in a week and a half period. One problem I had was that I could bury an entire bottle of alc one night and be good and another night a pint would take me out. I still drink often, I just now know when I'm at my buzz limit. I just can't trust myself not to do something retarded when I get smashed. Looking to pursue a carear in LE also helps keep me under control as my driving record is going to hold me back enough as it is.I more than know you don't need a lecture, so consider this just a simple AD forum buddy request

Stupid Jason, doing stupid thingsFalls in love with a straight boy Who thinks he wants a trial flingor is itStupid straight boy, slowly falling hardfor his friend: 'but he's a guy like me!' - PANIC!Love is never easy yet Jason seems adored---Once upon a long time agoThat straight boy was just like meAdmitting that you're bi or gay ain't easyThe tears that are shed: sting - do you see?But eventually ... inevitably.Or not. You still have my commiserations for what they're worth.