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58 Hello?


DesDownunder

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So I have three days where I have to get up early...at 9am

Okay so for most people that is not all that early, but after a lifetime of going to bed as the sun comes,

9 am for me, is like the middle of everyone else's night.

I am tired, very tired. It is 3.35 pm and I have just got home. I look longingly at the reason for existence

but decide to leave the computer off and go to bed for some sleep.

4.14 pm. Ring-ring, ring-ring. ring-ring, ring-ring, ring-ring, I pick up the phone,

Me: "Yo!"

silence...

Oh No...

Just as I am about to hang-up a voice says: How are you doing?

Me: How am I doing, what?

Voice: pardon?

Me: You asked me how I am doing, but you didn't say what it was you wanted to know I was doing.

Voice: Doing?

Me: You must say what the doing is. I can't guess. Do you want to know how well I am doing the gardening?

Or do you want to know how well I do the dishes?

Or how well I do the naughty. I can tell you, I don't get too many complaints.

I don't do the garden, by the way.

Voice: I being polite.

Me: Hello Polite, I being Des.

Polite: No I am Shiram, being polite:

Me: How nice. I am Des being annoyed.

Polite now being Shiram: I knowing English.

Me: Who told you that?

Shiram: I did learning at school. I speak English. How are you doing?

Me: How am I doing, what?

Shiram: I don't understand.

Me: Admitting you don't understand is the first step to wisdom.

Shiram: This is not going right.

Me: No I suppose it isn't. :hug:

Shiram: I am having speech to say.

Me: Why is someone getting married?

Shiram: I am not married.

Me: you're not? Then who is getting married?

Shiram: Why is anyone marrying?

Me: That's what I say too. See I told you, you would get wisdom, all from just admitting you don't understand.

Shiram; Don't understand what?

Me: That I don't like being woken up by phone calls.

Shiram: Are you sleeping?

Me: Not at the moment.

Shiram: I am confused.

Me: I am tired.

Shiram: I am tiring too.

Me: We should go to bed.

CLICK!

Okay so we never got past the "Yo"

but I can fantasize a little can't I?

:hehe:

19 Comments


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I love you Des.I don't know how you do it, but whenever I'm having a bad day/night, you always post something that cheers me up. If I wouldn't know better, I would swear that you have me under surveillance.I know you don't, because me and your BF talk all the time, but sometimes I wonder....Oh, it's raining.Jason R.

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Glad to give you a happy moment Jason.How did you mange to get my bf to talk? I've been trying to get him to do that for years. :hug:Uh Oh rain, you say? I better go put the plastic wrap on the surveillance camera.

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Did anyone read my blog besides Jason? :happy:
Are we feeling needy, Des? Alone, in a cold, cold world? With the only one to talk to being so extremely well versed in English, that you cannot even have a conversation? Be happy! Some 90% of OUR telemarkers are now computer generated voices, telling us we have won a vacation and to just press 9 in order to learn the details. Stinking scumbags: now they won't even give minimum pay jobs to people, but have to recruit impoverished computers to do their work, probably paying them even less money.
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"It was very clever, but that seems to be typical for you"Ha ha ha. How about them apples. (stupid meaningless expression used in Canada) You've set the standard at a level that you now have to be absolutely fucking brilliant in order to even get a comment from anyone. Methinks you are going to have to post a few dumbass things, just to bring down that average expectation a bit. :happy:

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The problem Des, is you set too high a standard. Whatever I write in return will sound insipid, and who wants to show themselves in that light?What you wrote was wonderful: witty and clever and funny and creative and engaging. I loved reading it. I look forward to more of the same, even if to get it I have to write stuff like this.I thought your b/f was the one to do the stroking around here.Oh, you wanted empathetic, supportive, intellectual stroking. Maybe you need a b/f upgrade. But then, giving up what you now have for that would probably mean you'd then be coming to us for the other kind, and Down Under is way too far for me. Not that it wouldn't be fun!C

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I don't know about you, Cole, but I can still reach down under just fine. On the other hand, reach DES down under would be a trick and a half. Oh. Well. Maybe not a trick...

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Okay, okay, I yield.I should never have asked. I was just trying to be funny. I should know better. At least I know now why my bf occasionally reads my work, (when I tie him up and force him to, with a magnifying glass tied to his head with barbed wire) always says, "It's good! What else can I say?"I love it, of course when he gives an honest appraisal by saying, "You wrote that instead of cleaning the house?"Your replies all had me laughing so much, I am lost for words. Thanks guys. I guess I was having a needy moment. :blush::happy:

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In a darkened room, a young man sits in the shadows, sipping Scotch and smoking a cigar while reading the varied comments about Jason taking over Des Down Under's blog. After making sure he has hijacked the blog completely, he switches off the computer and smiles. His plan for world domination seems to be going ahead nicely.He turns on the light and looks down at the pictures littering his desk. Thinking of Eric's comment, he picks one up and looks at it. It's a good likeness and for a moment he wonders if he should send Eric the link, but that moment fades, it's not the right time....YET.He turns off the light and fades back into the shadows. It's almost time......Jason R.

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ERIC?!He knows my name!me faintsOh yeah, I read the blog, it was brilliant but curiously... it faded as soon as the jason-cam was mentioned...me wonders why...btw, Shiram being polite might be someone sitting in a darkened room, drinking scotch and smoking cigar. Hmm I wonder who it was...

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Des, you had me laughing helplessly. Then the rest of you added to it. This was fantastic.Oh, and Jason's nefarious shadowed plans... I'd say more, but my screen went strangely dark and a voice claimed archly that it would control my horizontal and my vertical. Oh my! (My what? We can discuss that later, at the secret lair....)-----The other day, a very nice young woman with an exotic accent called, very concerned for my welfare. She was offering me a credit card. Imagine that, free credit, such a kind woman. However, I had to decline her kind offer, as I already have a credit card, and a bill to match. Still, she was persistent. It's so nice to find someone so eager to be helpful. Alas, when I said I had one already and really didn't want one, we were somehow disconnected. Doubtless, she will pine away for me, but alas, it will be an unrequited love, for I could not in good conscience lead her astray. Perhaps she has a handsome young brother who'd like to give me more than some silly old plastic card? Ah well, I feel sure she will go about her way, offering such riches to other deserving strangers, until she meets an exotic young man to share her plastic affections.

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Des, you had me laughing helplessly. Then the rest of you added to it. This was fantastic.Oh, and Jason's nefarious shadowed plans... I'd say more, but my screen went strangely dark and a voice claimed archly that it would control my horizontal and my vertical. Oh my! (My what? We can discuss that later, at the secret lair....)-----The other day, a very nice young woman with an exotic accent called, very concerned for my welfare. She was offering me a credit card. Imagine that, free credit, such a kind woman. However, I had to decline her kind offer, as I already have a credit card, and a bill to match. Still, she was persistent. It's so nice to find someone so eager to be helpful. Alas, when I said I had one already and really didn't want one, we were somehow disconnected. Doubtless, she will pine away for me, but alas, it will be an unrequited love, for I could not in good conscience lead her astray. Perhaps she has a handsome young brother who'd like to give me more than some silly old plastic card? Ah well, I feel sure she will go about her way, offering such riches to other deserving strangers, until she meets an exotic young man to share her plastic affections.
You could always have asked for her credit card number. :happy: Let me know if she has more than one handsome young brother.We could double date.
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You could always have asked for her credit card number. :blush: Let me know if she has more than one handsome young brother.We could double date.
Hahaha! I think I may try that on the next telemarketer who calls! :blush::happy:
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