In Pensive Pose

Caffeine can be a great and addictive thing. Before spring break, I was pretty much living off of it. Just remember that a little bit is good, but too much is bad. It's one of those annoying balancing things. As for sex, you can't choose the easy topics can you? Sex can be a lot of things. It can be fun, passionate, angry, sad, careless, happy, drunk...but in my opinion, the best that sex can every be is loving and carefree. I'm not all that experienced with lots of people. S and I are one and onlys when it comes to the heavy stuff (kind of ironic when I think about how wild I was for so long), but my advice is wait until you are ready. When you're ready, it isn't nearly as scary. For me, sex wasn't as scary in itself as what it meant. I was kind of a relationship-phobic. But once he kind of trapped me and wore me down ( ), it seemed natural. Hmmm, don't know what else to say about that.Anyway, yeah for gay flamingos!!!

Take my advice, Maddy.DON"T EVER HAVE SEX!It's highly addictive and rather messy to boot. And it's a complete waste of time.Instead of having sex, you just sit down at the old computer and write more poems. You'll feel better and I'll feel better because I'd have something new to read.Jason (who might have other motives than Maddy's well being)

Sex is much like 1001 flavours of ice cream. You can love ice cream but dislike mango and cherry ... so don't eat it ... if you get my drift

Sex is much like 1001 flavours of ice cream. You can love ice cream but dislike mango and cherry ... so don't eat it ... if you get my drift

Haha... don't worry, Camy, I would NEVER swallow. LOLMaddy (:

"don't worry, Camy, I would NEVER swallow."You'd just choke instead? What a plan.FWIW, I found I actually dislike sex, at least, with someone else. I seem to be my own best friend though, and quite the expert on what works best. I know. TMI.

Sex is Great! It's the rest of it that's dubious.Personally, I find it very difficult to sleep with another person in the bed. If they doze off with their arm over my shoulder, I lie there, eyes wide open, afraid to move in case I wake them up ... which is no way to get a good nights sleep. Then there's snoring. It drives me BATTY! Up the fucking wall (excuse my French).M - my bf, has sleep apnia (where you stop breathing). This makes me hysterical. He breathes and then ... will he start again? ... when will he start again? ... he's dead! I know it, I'm in bed with a dead thing ... I should call for help! and then, finally, he breathes again, and I'm thinking: 'you utter bastard, I thought you'd died!' AND this goes on all night!In fiction it's all rather wonderful ... but the reality is a farting, sweaty, morning breathed, bleary eyed bf. I, of course, am perfect. Friendship is far, far more important than sex. But sex is great!Camy

My God, you two! Don't you know, living is compromise? If bad breath in the moring is balanced against a great cuddle in the evening, isn't the one worth the other? As for the other bits, see a doctor for the apnea; there're things that can be done, things that work. If you don't like body contact, you can cuddle for a while, then roll apart when you're ready for sleep. If he's asleep, and you're gentle with your movement, it's very unlikely you'll awaken him. Or perhaps you need a king sized bed.And for sex with someone else, Trab, you probably haven't found the right partner, one who'll be patient and talk about likes and dislikes and will go very slowly and respond to your body language. Someone who cares about you, someone you care about, someone you trust. That makes it all work better. Best is someone who cares and you share a funnybone with. Sex and humor seem to go hand in hand, possibly because sex is sort of ridiculous when you think about it. Being able to giggle while groping adds a dimension of closeness that makes things better.But I'm writing like I know all the answers, and, as usual, it's easier for me to look at someone else's problems and ignore my own. So get back to your own business and ignore me. Bleary-eyed? Sounds like the apnea is disrupting his sleep as well as yours.C

My God, you two! Don't you know, living is compromise? If bad breath in the moring is balanced against a great cuddle in the evening, isn't the one worth the other? As for the other bits, see a doctor for the apnea; there're things that can be done, things that work. If you don't like body contact, you can cuddle for a while, then roll apart when you're ready for sleep. If he's asleep, and you're gentle with your movement, it's very unlikely you'll awaken him. Or perhaps you need a king sized bed.And for sex with someone else, Trab, you probably haven't found the right partner, one who'll be patient and talk about likes and dislikes and will go very slowly and respond to your body language. Someone who cares about you, someone you care about, someone you trust. That makes it all work better. Best is someone who cares and you share a funnybone with. Sex and humor seem to go hand in hand, possibly because sex is sort of ridiculous when you think about it. Being able to giggle while groping adds a dimension of closeness that makes things better.But I'm writing like I know all the answers, and, as usual, it's easier for me to look at someone else's problems and ignore my own. So get back to your own business and ignore me. Bleary-eyed? Sounds like the apnea is disrupting his sleep as well as yours.C

My God, you two! Don't you know, living is compromise? If bad breath in the moring is balanced against a great cuddle in the evening, isn't the one worth the other? As for the other bits, see a doctor for the apnea; there're things that can be done, things that work. If you don't like body contact, you can cuddle for a while, then roll apart when you're ready for sleep. If he's asleep, and you're gentle with your movement, it's very unlikely you'll awaken him. Or perhaps you need a king sized bed.And for sex with someone else, Trab, you probably haven't found the right partner, one who'll be patient and talk about likes and dislikes and will go very slowly and respond to your body language. Someone who cares about you, someone you care about, someone you trust. That makes it all work better. Best is someone who cares and you share a funnybone with. Sex and humor seem to go hand in hand, possibly because sex is sort of ridiculous when you think about it. Being able to giggle while groping adds a dimension of closeness that makes things better.But I'm writing like I know all the answers, and, as usual, it's easier for me to look at someone else's problems and ignore my own. So get back to your own business and ignore me. Bleary-eyed? Sounds like the apnea is disrupting his sleep as well as yours.C

Well Cole I see you have managed to find the duplicate my post button. Camy I do sympathise.

Sex is Great! It's the rest of it that's dubious.Personally, I find it very difficult to sleep with another person in the bed. If they doze off with their arm over my shoulder, I lie there, eyes wide open, afraid to move in case I wake them up ... which is no way to get a good nights sleep. Then there's snoring. It drives me BATTY! Up the fucking wall (excuse my French).M - my bf, has sleep apnia (where you stop breathing). This makes me hysterical. He breathes and then ... will he start again? ... when will he start again? ... he's dead! I know it, I'm in bed with a dead thing ... I should call for help! and then, finally, he breathes again, and I'm thinking: 'you utter bastard, I thought you'd died!' AND this goes on all night!In fiction it's all rather wonderful ... but the reality is a farting, sweaty, morning breathed, bleary eyed bf. I, of course, am perfect. Friendship is far, far more important than sex. But sex is great!Camy

I have exactly the same problem and of course he does "Not Snore." Those quiet moments when the apnea takes over and he stops breathing, sometime make me wonder if I shouldn't attempt to get some sleep before he starts up again. On the plus side I remember my grandmother having the most violent snore on the planet. I think she registered on the state seismic graph machine. She lived like that for the last thirty years of her life. Try getting him to turn on his side as that will stop the snoring.Maddy,If you are under a lot of stress and tension say, with your studies, you may well find that is playing havoc with your sexual desires.Everyone's level of sexual activity and needs are different. However, it is also important for younger people to be aware that if the hormone levels are not what they should be, that is a medical problem that can be treated easily.See a sex health professional who will assess your physical and medical situation. Older persons can find plenty of help from a number of sources on the net but do remember it is true, "Use it or lose it," especially after 40.

I have no idea how that happened.And Des-- good advice.C

Thank you, everyone! I have never been a sexual person, but recently I've found that I'm nearly asexual. Perhaps this is something I should consult a doctor for. Thanks for the advice :D. I hope I do enjoy it with that special someone. to everyoneMaddy (:

Well, if you are asexual it isn't a problem, cause you don't want it anyway. If you want it, have the urges, but can't 'do it', then it's not asexuality, but a problem to be dealt with. Cole, my sexual functioning idiosyncrasies are directly connected to sensory issues with Aspergers. No matter how concerned my partner might be, the solution is elsewhere.

LOL. I'm not impotent! :P

LOL. I'm not impotent! :P

"Brag, brag, brag," Trab said, plaintively.

God, that last post was heartbreaking.

God, that last post was heartbreaking.

I agree...LOL.===DMaddy (:

I totally agree with the comedic affect of sex. I remember this one time, when S and I just got together and things were getting pretty heavy...ok, so way to personal, but anyway, if you can't laugh during with your guy when you should, then in my opinion there is something missing.Anyway, I totally misunderstood your aversion to sex. Sex is fun. Kind of odd, but totally fun. I'm not really sure about not wanting sex. No real thoughts other than that. Ok, I do have more thoughts on the subject. Don't do anything your not comfortable with...but sometimes things you aren't totally sure that you will like are the best. Be open minded.And although I do enjoy sex best with someone else, I understand the whole you know how you work best thing. Hehe, I like discussing sex. It's fun.

I have no idea how that happened.C

You kept hitting the "post" button.

Today on RHF this appropriate joke appeared. It's relevant to this discussion:A friend was complaining that her boyfriend would not say "I love you,"even if explicitly asked to do so. The only exception, she said, waswhen they were in fact in the act of making love. Then, if asked, hewould say the sacred words.I suggested that she should not take too much comfort in the exception.When making love, I explained, men will say anything."He'd tell you he's the Easter Bunny if that's what he thinks you wantto hear," I told her. The conversation rattled on from there.A couple of weeks later, she related the following."We were in bed, making love. I said, 'Tell me you love me.' He said,'I love you.' I said 'Tell me you're the Easter Bunny.' He stoppedfor a second, and said, 'I'm the Easter Bunny.' So I slapped him."The poor guy probably still doesn't know what happened.

That's hilarious, WBMS.

Today on RHF this appropriate joke appeared. It's relevant to this discussion:A friend was complaining that her boyfriend would not say "I love you,"even if explicitly asked to do so. The only exception, she said, waswhen they were in fact in the act of making love. Then, if asked, hewould say the sacred words.I suggested that she should not take too much comfort in the exception.When making love, I explained, men will say anything."He'd tell you he's the Easter Bunny if that's what he thinks you wantto hear," I told her. The conversation rattled on from there.A couple of weeks later, she related the following."We were in bed, making love. I said, 'Tell me you love me.' He said,'I love you.' I said 'Tell me you're the Easter Bunny.' He stoppedfor a second, and said, 'I'm the Easter Bunny.' So I slapped him."The poor guy probably still doesn't know what happened.

Hilarious! XDI think that's one of the things that scares me the most... As I've said before, I've never been a sexual person. To me, it REALLY IS something sacred (not in the 'God is watching you in the act' way). I don't want to be fooled into having sex with someone who doesn't love me.Maddy (:

..."We were in bed, making love. I said, 'Tell me you love me.' He said,'I love you.' I said 'Tell me you're the Easter Bunny.' He stoppedfor a second, and said, 'I'm the Easter Bunny.' So I slapped him."The poor guy probably still doesn't know what happened.

I can't resist it:She should have replied with,"What's up Doc?"

Hilarious! XDI think that's one of the things that scares me the most... As I've said before, I've never been a sexual person. To me, REALLY IS something sacred (not in the 'God is watching you in the act' way). I don't want to be fooled into having sex with someone who doesn't love me.Maddy (:

That's quite a good thing, Maddy. I wish I was like you.Rad :icon1:P.S. Des, I wish I was like you too.