R.J.

Haha... and just how did you know?

The stories here actually make being a vampire cool, so on that note, I'd like to be a vampire! Bite me, someone! :lol:Rad

Transferred to graveyard shift again. Ugh. I don't mind if I get caught using the internet. I think I deserve it. The internet, I mean. *Chuckles*

At least some of us are still writing.

:lol:Vote Wisely.

IMHO, it's a "nurture" problem. There's one passage in the Bible that I have always believed in, and it says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." It's somewhere in the Book of Proverbs. If Brandon actually grew up as someone who does not think that he has to need a gun in order to deal with another guy liking him, but instead ask the counsel of a sensible adult, then this tragedy would not have happened. But it already had, and I really feel bad about it. If there's a way Brandon would be exiled instead, then I would propose that. (If his family would agree, of course.) But that's just unfair to the other boys who had been sentenced the same way before him. Everything boils down, for me, to each of us. It's just a matter of treating everyone right, being polite and all. Anyway, I'll stop now. That^^ seemed to be impossible to ask for in this world.

If you guys are journalists, I'd hate to be the president.

I feel the need to point out the fact that I put a comma somewhere in there:

What have I done?

I don't know what to say...

:wav: Oh god, Des. You're so good, I'm so green with envy! If I only have that much sense of humor...

IF I would not get out of bed tomorrow, I'll get fired.And yeah, there would probably be a new short story from me (or a new chapter for a novel) if I wouldn't get out of bed (or the house) in any day.Rad

I don't know how to thank you guys. Let's just say that this has been one of my most trying times so far (after being outed to my parents), and you guys are there. Thanks for that.A has posted questions that made me curious. About myself. I mean, asking myself what makes me get out of the bed these days didn't go over well. I get out of bed because I have to. I have to go to work. That made me feel like I'm just an automaton. Most of the time, I do what others require of me, and the only way I make time for myself is surfing the net (and sleeping, if it counts). It doesn't feel good not having a reason and just letting myself get blown wherever the wind blows.Anyway, I realized that I do work for a reason: I want to go back to school. And even though that's not looking good right now, it's still a reason. It just hurts when I have to give up a dream. I feel like I've already given up so much because of the circumstances I'd been under.Anyway, sorry for being a soapbox^^.Rad

This is such an incredible joke!!! Do I get permission to distribute it?

I don't think I could say anything witty enough, so I'd just say that that was very funny, Des, AS ALWAYS!Rad

I love you, Trab!!! There's always a reason I thought this was a perfect place to post this entry. I love hearing what you guys think; you guys are great thinkers!

Internet arms? Great one, Trab! Actually, it's what is not written in the fine print that's got me feeling bad. It's the atmosphere. The job itself. I don't feel happy there, and that is what mostly kept me in my previous jobs until the contract ended - I had felt happy there.And I'm getting there, your raccoonship. I plan to make my life the way I want it. I have a plan, and one of the first things I going to do is eliminate the obstacles (or some of it... hehe). Or make a detourand leave the obstacles be. I didn't know we like something in common: I want to live in London too! Don't envy me, Eric. Hehe. It's not that I never blame myself. I know when I'm wrong, so I know when I am to be blamed. There are just some stuff that happened and I'm sometimes confused with it all. It's all about happiness for me. I can't work if I don't feel that. Working without that is like rubbing salt on wound for me. Anyway, like you said, at least I have a job. But I'm not going to settle with that reason.. hehe. I don't do at-least's. I like solid reasons.

I find it hard to blame myself. I've always read about people blaming others but themselves, and I always agree with that stuff. It's that ego thing; you know, like they did their best, but they just didn't think first if they're doing the right thing under the circumstances, so saying they made the wrong decision is like tripping in the mall or right in front of national TV. Or maybe they didn't do the good thing. I don't know. I've always read - again - that there are no right decisions, only good decisions. I don't want to think if they made the good decisions or not, because that would mean all the fault falls down on me. In their eyes, at least, and all this time I do believe that that's what is going on. I mean, what I think is good may not be the same with what they think it is. Life scares me right now. I'm already 20 years old, but my life isn't going towards the direction I wanted it to go to. I'm not sure I have the control over it. I'm not sure how I'd be able to get control over it. It's a fucked up feeling. Especially when the people I blame for my life going this way might be blaming me for the same thing. Right now, I feel like becoming a hermit, a recluse. I just don't want to die of hunger. That's the most fucked up thing in this world. No one should die of hunger. I've always tried thinking of the things I might have not done enough. Like, maybe I should have argued more, defended my case more, had a tantrum, didn't act like I can bear anything life throws at me. Stupid me, always stoic, always happy-go-lucky, always playing it easy. Now they think they did good, and I was too lax that's why everything's going this way. I really don't know what to do. I just wish I could stop smiling about it. I thought the new job would be good. Fuck, they made it look good during the training. I was so stupid. I had never been so stupid in my life. Never felt that way before. Next time, I'll ask first some of the employees on their opinion before signing up for anything; there has to be a majority of opinion. And yeah, I'm already planning on quitting. Just don't know when. I have plans on going back to school, and that particular company doesn't seem to care about it. If the salary's good I would have considered really staying, like, forgetting about school for a while. But it just isn't. At least, I have myself to blame for that. Really stupid of me to assume it's gold because they said it glitters. I should have known why hearsay isn't admissible in court. Fuck. Anyway, sorry about spouting off. I'm not doped, I swear. I just needed to vent and this looks like the perfect place. I did say something about decisions being good at the moment, right?

Great post, as usual. You've got great workmates too, Mr. USA. :D

I love this poem! It's one of those things us humans always think about, but never really say outloud. It strikes right to the core of me. Like this one song by John Mayer that says, "But I'll gladly go down to the flame if the flame's what it takes to remember my name." It's an everyday search for me. Which way? This poem has voiced it out so eloquently and beautifully. Thank you, Camy, for writing it. You're one hell of a poet.

Find your own sunburn victim to put lotion on.

I don't think I would've done the same thing. That was a great decision, Jason. If you're not doing fine right now, I hope you'll be later.Rad

I love you, Des. Don't stop talking about the weather on anyone's account, as long as you keep posting those news stories with those hot sunburn victims. Maybe everyone should be required to post a picture of a sunburnt American, Canadian, Briton, French, take your pick.

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," says the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt! That's when I made the big mistake." "What did you do?" asks the doctor. "Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!' I don't remember much after that."

Matt is definitely not a drama queen. That thought never entered my mind until I read these posts. Matt is just a worry wart, and a drama queen is much different than that. Matt just needs a little push. Or shove. Just as Kevin has already been pushing him all this time. I also think Matt has great ideals. I, too, would hesitate to enter into a relationship with a younger guy at that age. I think at that age (16), the age gap seems to be more obvious. Like a year is a decade. And a cross-grades relationship is something that is not heard of. And for it to be a gay relationship.... But when one is in the twenties, those things seem immaterial. I mean, what is a two-year difference at that time? And jealousy? I don't know. With the way Matt is, I see him letting Timothy get close to Kevin just to follow his principles. Rad