TalonRider

Rain, like Graeme say's, don't give up. I've made a few mistakes myself and learned from them. And you've got a good teacher there with you.

Not to mention his guest appearance with Collision Chapter 14, which will be out soon.

Ryan, let me be the first to welcome you then to AD.

Thanks Codey. I'll keep that in mind. I'm currently started working with a teen, almost 15, on his first story. Right now, it's mainly clean up. He has 41 chapters written and posted at his blog and at another site. He's never had anyone go over the chapters for him. (He contacted me about doing this for him thru another forum.) The story is based on his young life. He starts it when he was 8 years old. Other than mainly spelling and punctuation issues he seems to be doing a pretty good job. I always try to to be constructive with any comments. As a result, before he sends me new chapters to work on, he goes back thru them. It started out a little slow, but its picked up and is getting interesting. Jan

The facility where I work has lightening rods all over the buildings. Which is a good thing, since the area is prone to lightening strikes.

Hang on to our hat, Blue. It gets better as you go. I'm waiting on chapter 31 to come out. And you wouldn't believe some of the things the domaholic's are saying. But if you don't want any spoilers, I'd wait awhile before visiting that forum. :D Talon

After reading Gold, the only thing I could say to Jamie was the words spoken in the last episode of season 1 by Kosh, the Vorlon Ambassador to Babylon 5, "And so it begins." Jan

Jamie may be the star of the show, but your still part of the team AJ. =D> :thumbright:

Welcome Home Codey.

:sign5:

Why We Love Children 1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT? !" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." 2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?" 3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said,"Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'" 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy." 5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron." 6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?" 7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." 8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Oh Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. 9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." 10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" 11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart , you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too." Now keep that smile on your face and pass it on to someone else.

I had the pleasure of seeing this story earlier. Here's some of what I had to say then, I like this short story. It flowed along smoothly. It has a lot of realism to it. Well done, WMBS. :D

Helpful Hints Helpful Hint #1 If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed. Helpful Hint #2 Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away Helpful Hint #3 Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on. Helpful Hint #4 Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner. Helpful Hint #5 An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator. Helpful Hint #6 Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink. Helpful Hint #7 High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Helpful Hint #8 A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep. Helpful Hint #9 If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. Helpful hint #10 Have a bad tooth ache? hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

Get Well Soon, Codey. And take care. Jan

If you do have the time to re-read the story, that's good. Back in the summer, when I went home to visit family and friends, every morning I would go outside and spend about 2 hours reading. You might be surprised at some of the things I run across that I either missed or forgot about. I currently have 1 3 inch note book full and have also started a second one. I'll probably shift things around a bit and start a 3rd on when Book 2 comes out.

I agree with Trab on this, that was sweet, Jamie. Thanks, Jan

I'm with you Trab. I thought each chapter was a scroll in itself. Talon

Thanks for sharing with us Codey. Don't get discouraged. I'm sure Jamie and AJ could tell you some stories of the author/editor relationship between themselves. For my own part, with the authors I work for, I offer suggestions for any changes that I may see. Then it's up to the author to make any changes they may agree with. After all, this is his/her work, not mine. You've seen first hand what I mean with your chapter of Collision. When I get a Collision chapter back, I'll do a quick check of the story before I call it final. Most generally, my suggestions are accepted. I usually then switch to reader mode and give the author my take on the story. And I sometimes get a reply back on those comments, which I appreciate. Jan

I agree, Chris, be careful of what you ask for, you may get more than what you want here. In a good way of course. To the Pecman, I'd like to say, I've read the story in its entirety as reader first and I have done some editing for Chris as well. I found the first chapter a little confusing as well. As you read on, things start to clear up. As for the time and place issues, I concluded the story takes place now and in England somewhere. You'll find references as you read on that will help you decide for yourself. My opinion of course.

I'm currently available. None of my regular authors have sent me anything for a while and I've sent Collision - Chapter 13 out to be posted. And since my b/f isn't here yet, most evenings are free. talon

Obviously, he's never seen me. :roll:

Guilty as charged. I like the story, but unfortunately, I don't always write to the author in a timely fashion. Altho there are a couple that get an almost immediate email. The last story that I finally got caught up with, I didn't write the author, but I did chat with him when I saw him online recently. In fact, I find I like chatting with an author about his/her story and I've done that a few times with Jamie. Jan

I like it also. This coming from someone who normally doesn't read poetry. :oops:

If anyone is interested, I've posted these 3 and 4 others at The Talon House. http://thetalon.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=2979 Jan

Alex Thanks You 8) for your comments. Jan