The Pecman

I don't agree. I know several communes in the U.S. in the late 1960s/early 1970s that were total disasters, filled with drugged-out morons and malnourished, uneducated children, living in squalor -- basically rural slums set up to grow large pot farms. There were several 60 Minutes stories that aired on CBS News during the 1970s, and I remember vivid portraits of how bad some of these groups were. Many (if not most) disintegrated and eventually gave up and returned to the cities. There was a lot of disillusionment about the 1960s, once people began to realize that the idealized concept of communes, peace and love just didn't happen as everybody hoped. Maybe it was different down under, but that's the way it was in America. I do agree with the general point that well-balanced, normal kids can be raised by atypical parents, including same-sex partners, single parents, or even a group of people -- under the right circumstances, and with enough money, love and care.

Chapter 6 coming up in just a day or so. Finally a little sex (and a little violence). Special thanks to Cole and AWL for lending a hand with some editing and plot advice. Damn those typos, anyway!

I agree with Jason, Cole and Colinian above. If you post your work on the web, then as far as I'm concerned, you're giving your tacit approval to anybody to read and discuss the work. Period. I think what Driver was getting at to WBMS was that he was very hurt in the beginning by people who sent him angry, nasty, even violent emails about his work. (I had a very brief, albeit very positive correspondence with him. and always praised the majority of what he did.) I think it got fairly serious, to the point where some Internut got hold of Driver's phone number and started harrassing him. (Proving you have to be careful how and where you register a website.) But I don't think a writer can say, "I forbid anybody to discuss my work on the web," just as they can't say, "I forbid anybody to talk to a friend about mo work." There's a thing called the 1st amendment (at least in the U.S.), and we can discuss any damn thing we want, as long as it doesn't involve criminal activities. Honest criticism is certainly allowed, and I think it should be encouraged on forums like this one. I also agree with the others that it's crazy for an author not to provide an email address in his or her online stories, in my opinion. As far as I'm concerned, the only "payment" an author gets is the small ego-boost when a nice letter comes in. I'm positive my Yahoo account has well over 3000 pieces of mail archived over the last few years, and I think less than a dozen of them were negative (let alone hostile). All you can do with the hostile or crazy ones is to either ignore them, or send them a curt "thanks for your comments" message.

Keep up the spoofs, TR. I always get a chuckle out of them, and they do no harm as far as I'm concerned. If anybody doesn't want to read them, just avoid them. But you'll be missing some funny stuff if you do.

And just to put a positive spin on my previous critique: I liked the fact that Driver stirred in some interesting tidbits about the billionaire father's investments in the final chapter. That helped. Still, kind of an inconclusive ending. I agree completely with Colinian's comments above. Another chapter or two to round things out is probably warranted. And I can offer no higher praise for any story than to say "it held my interest, and made me want to read the whole thing." A couple of nit-picks on the ransom amount are minor in the grand scheme of things. The core idea is decent enough, and that's the key for me. Also, a sidenote to WBMS: I wanted to make sure you understood that I think your story premise of a secret underground world below London was (and is) a terrific concept. I can buy into that with no problem at all, and in fact, it's a unique and intriguing idea, and I think you pulled it off well.

No, I totally disagree. If a fantasy or SF story can establish its own internal rules of logic and stick to them, that works fine to me. I've said many, many times on this site that the Harry Potter novels, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings all work fine as stories. (OK, the last three Star Wars movies sucked, but the stories at least made sense, to a point.) But if Luke Skywalker had suddenly sprouted bird wings and flown away at a key moment, we wouldn't have believed it. Even fantasy and science fiction has rules. I simply thought the $100 million figure was out of line. I think the story would be more realistic with a much lower figure. As to the 10% net worth deal, I'm worth (technically) over a million bucks, and there's no bloody way I could ever raise a hundred grand in a day, not even in a week -- not in the current housing market. I'd be lucky to raise a grand in a day, if that. I think making the father character in this story a billionaire just is a little unbelievable to me. I can point back to our old friend Nick Archer's list of "Gay Story Cliches," one of which was to have a gay teenager with very wealthy parents. (I commited that sin myself in one of my stories, but I established some very realistic boundries -- the kid drives a BMW, but it's a $40,000 car, not a $100,000 car, and when he gets blackmailed, the best he can do is to steal his father's watch and pawn it for $5000. To me, that's reasonable. The real world is a lot less ritzy than people think.) Speaking of which, there's a movie that came out in the last six months where an ordinary 9-to-5 working guy gets a phone call from somebody who says, "I've just kidnapped your wife and I'm going to kill her unless you give me [huge amount of money, like $100K]." The entire movie shows the extraordinary lengths the guy goes to beg, borrow, and steal the money in time to stop the kidnappers. Never saw it, but it's a very intriguing premise: a non-rich guy is forced to commit a crime in order to save someone he loves. That, I can see as a totally valid story.

Trab commented: Well, "destroyed" is a tough word. There's a difference between disappointed and destroyed. Let's just say that it's unfortunate when I see a story that's pretty decent, and then the author up and does something wacky like this. One small rewrite would fix it. But I see this happen in films sometimes, too. It's enough to make me shut off the player and turn to the news... I could tell you a story about standing on the set of Batman Returns in 1992 and noticing a plot problem -- actually, I saw it at a screening, and got into a long argument with the cameraman on the picture, who was (and still is) a pretty good friend of mine. The bottom line is that the storyline has to be believable, and the moment you break that bond with the audience, it's over with. Please enjoy the story if you want. It'd be a very boring world if everybody agreed 100% of the time about everything. We're just arguing opinion, not fact.

That's a wonderful, wonderful movie, probably the best movie Tim Allen has ever made. Movies like that are among my favorite stories, where the plot starts off going in one direction, then takes an abrupt turn and the audience goes, "whoa! Where the hell is this thing going?" You gotta love that. (Alan Rickman as the "Spock" character was superb, too.) BTW, just to name drop, I'm currently working on my third Tim Allen movie in a row (after Shaggy Dog and Santa Clause III). The one is the first he's ever directed, Crazy on the Outside, and I think it's due out at the end of the year. It co-stars Sigourney Weaver -- also from Galaxy Quest -- this time, playing Tim's world-weary sister. Tim's a very, very funny, edgy guy in real life. And definitely a total pro when it comes to knowing his lines and all that. I know his films aren't exactly critic-pleasers, but at least he's a pretty nice guy and loyal to his crews.

Ah, that must be my problem. If one major issue sticks out like a sore thumb in a story, the author's going to lose me as a reader, no matter how well it's done. I can suspend disbelief to a point. Hell, I'm practically Agent Mulder when it comes to the philosophy of "I want to believe." I have no problem dealing with fantasy and science fiction stories, on the order of Lost, Harry Potter, and many other classics. But those stories made sense and established their own logic. They followed their own rules for their worlds, even though the same rules wouldn't necessarily work for the real world, and those stories worked just fine on many different levels. But a hundred million clams for a ransom? No way. I know several millionaires personally, and that kinda money just ain't realistic.

I dunno. I read it, and it's not bad, but the author lost me when he said the kidnappers were asking for $100,000,000. Good god -- if even Paul McCartney were kidnapped, the criminals couldn't get away with asking for that kinda money. If they had said $5,000,000 or $10,000,000, I could accept that. But nobody, not Rupert Murdoch, not Bill Gates, not Steve Jobs, has got the wherewithal to get $100M cash in 24 hours. Do you have any idea how big a box it would take to hold a million $100 bills (the largest U.S. denomination)? And a wire transfer is equally problematic, because the criminals would have to be at a the level of a James Bond "Blofeld" to pull it off. If one detail like this jumps out at me, it's enough to put the story off, no matter how well it's told. I also think the kidnappers should ask for Euros rather than dollars, because the U.S. economy sucks so much. Ten million Euros, transferred to an account in Antigua or something like that... that I'll buy. Or if the rich guy has an art collection, maybe a couple of Picassos worth $10,000,000, or super-valuable jewelry -- that would work.

I'm with you, Trab. I just had five 14-hour days in a row, and I'm going on Saturday for a sixth day -- but only 12 hours this time. (I'm slacking off.) I'm just glad my company is busy again. The Writers' strike just about killed us in January and February; those were the lowest paychecks I've had in years. Now, I'm raking it in, but jesus, am I tired. We're just sitting down to watch American Idol in a few minutes, and that's four days after it aired (and the first TV I've seen in more than a week).

James above has it 100% right. I think dropping in just a few details here and there, a few buzz-words, is all that's necessary. More than forty years ago, I remember this advice from Gene Roddenberry (to prospective Star Trek writers, not me): "We never have Captain Kirk stop and explain how the phaser works. We just have him shoot it, and assume the audience will figure it out on their own." I think that's the right approach. But in a scene that has, say, a hospital crew examining an injured or dying person, you'd want to pepper the dialog with enough technical phrases to help make it real. I did this in a scene in Jagged Angel where two guys decide to have sex on a hospital bed, but one of them is hooked up to a remote monitoring device. A nurse at a remote station sees the patient's respiration suddenly lurch up, and tries to come in the room, not knowing what's going on. I threw in enough technical detail about the medical read-outs to give it some verisimilitude, but not so much as to show off or overwhelm the reader.

Don't forget that there will be some films and TV shows that will never come out on Blu-Ray, particularly those done in standard-def. Don't be so quick to toss teh old DVDs unless you're sure the Blu-Rays are out. I would agree as far as not wanting to buy any more standard-def DVDs of newly-released titles. If you want to get rid of them, the most profitable way to do so would be to sell 'em on eBay. You could also give them to charity -- for example, I know that AIDS hospices really cherish all the CDs and DVDs they can get to help entertain their patients.

Yes, I agree -- well-done. I think it's a terrific glimpse inside a world that I think very few people know about: behind the scenes at a British playhouse. I can't recall when I've seen it been done before, at least in gay fiction. Good job!

I was just reading through The New York Times Guide to Essential Knowledge the other day, and they had a pretty thorough list of the major religions of each country of the world. I believe it was there that I found out that the Muslim religion is now the #1 religious faith of the world, followed closely behind by Catholicism. (If you lump all Christian faiths together, then that would be #1.) I think between Buddhists, Catholics, and Muslims, that covers about 75% of the world religions. Me personally, I'm not a religious guy at all, but I don't think that religion is inherently a bad thing. I think it's a like a lot of things in life: a little won't hurt you -- might even help you -- but a sad number of people carry it to an extreme and screw it up for everybody. It's intolerance and "not-invented-here" thinking that give all religion a bad name. (I'm reminded of Rosie O'Donnell garnering a lot of protests when she equated religious Protestant fundamentalists with Taliban terrorists, and I think she's not that far off.) I've got some minor pro-and-con religious themes coming up in a new chapter of Pieces of Destiny, and my hope is to skewer some cliches and traditional thinking along the way. Just a side-plot to the main action. (In addition to more sex.)

Naaa, Norton is terribly bloated (as is McAffy). You're a lot better off to install something like Nod32 for anti-virus, and then add the anti-spyware and anti-adware programs of your choice. I trust this guy, Leo Laporte: http://leoville.com/contact/ and I've never known him to be wrong about system security. Me personally, I use Microsoft OneCare Live, but only because it's cheap and convenient and takes care of itself. I also avoid Internet Explorer, and never open attachments (and all that other stuff). I only had a problem once with computer viruses in my life, and that lasted one day, years ago. But that was a wipe-and-restore solution.

I see your point, but I think it's good for a writer to remember: sometimes you have to write about people are completely different from yourself. The last two novels I wrote were done specifically for this reason, to conjure up characters unlike anybody I've ever met, and far different from myself. I agree: pieces of the characters might resemble the writer, but I think it's useful to have characters who scream and go berserk, characters who talk quietly, characters who fume but don't explode... the whole range of human emotion.

I think the only time I use italics in dialogue is if there's a potential ambiguous meaning, and those are rare. The other exception is character's thoughts, which I do separately from an internal monologue. These topics are covered in numerous books on writing, and the consensus there is usually to keep them to a minimum, though some advise to avoid them completely.

Not necessarily. You can select the entire text and just change the font or the size, and the italics and boldface will remain intact. Also, there are ways to import and export HTML text to and from (say) MS Word, and still retain the formatting. It's a pain in the ass, but it can be done. Retaining italics was one of the main reasons I had to invest in Dreamweaver, since it has a fairly-foolproof Word-import feature. That way, I can keep some control of formatting my online stories (being the control freak that I am).

I think it's a subjective call. I think both italics and ALL CAPS have to be used sparingly, so that the effect isn't overused. I don't agree with Mr. Raccoon on this one: To me, you have to be very, very careful about overusing the dreaded adverbs. My own personal rule is, only use adverbs in dialogue when the line is ambiguous. Like: "Hey, you look great," he said. vs. "Hey, you look great," he said absent-mindedly. or "Hey, you look great," he said, sarcastically. Meanwhile, I'm still shuddering at the thought of raccoon fur in one's teeth...

Amen to everything you say. I couldn't agree more -- you hit the nail on the head. It's sad, too, because sometimes these stories start out really well, and then ultimately peter out. I think if the writer started with a point to the story -- not necessarily an ending, but at least a direction and a theme he or she was trying to get across -- that would help solve the problem. Doing an outline in advance also helps. I didn't do this with Destiny, but I do have a two-page synopsis (which I find I've been veering away from lately). Scripts are often assigned in Hollywood by means of short "treatments" like this, just a one- or two-page sketch of the first, second, and third acts of the film, and I think that's a good framework on which to build a story. If more writers would do this, I think their work would be a lot more cohesive and better focused. Plus, we wouldn't wind up with 100-chapter stories that kinda go nowhere, introduce characters that sort of show up for no reason, and all the other points you mention above.

Well, let me put it this way: I've stumbled upon stories on Nifty where you get to the first page listing the chapters, and there's 150 chapters there. That ain't a novel; whatever it is, it's out of control. Hell, even Stephen King's The Stand only went about 800,000 words, and actually has a beginning, a middle, and an end. (Same with War and Peace and a few other super-long novels.) No, I think what happens is that inexperienced authors sit down and start rambling at the keyboard, and don't grasp that they have to be focused enough to tell a story that follows the rules of drama. Even a soap opera on television gets to a climax, they finish it off, and start a new story. I have seen a few writers (Driver is one of them) who will do multiple novels with the same groups of characters, and those work at least in that each individual novel stands alone and has a point to it. The point need not be complex, by the way. Two themes I've used before are: "Real love is worth all the risks," and "Be honest with yourself." There's a lot more complex twists on top of that, but when you boil the story down, that's the bones of what's there. But themes take time to develop. I've done nearly six chapters of Pieces of Destiny, and we haven't yet gotten to the main idea of the story. Without tipping my hand, I can say that it's essentially, "would you sacrifice everything in your life for someone you loved?" Big idea, tough to write, but it's coming along.

I'm now convinced there is a God, after all. If they can put these motherf*****g people out of business for good, I'll say halleluiah! This nutcase woman, Shirley Phelps, is one of the most evil people on the face of the earth. Even Howard Stern won't put her on his show anymore. Her outrageousness has totally lost its entertainment value (if there ever was one). If somebody can give me an address for an organization to burn this so-called church down, count me in for a $10 contribution.

In fairness to the author, sometimes he or she may not quite know where the story is going. In my case, I usually jot down some bullet points for each chapter, and I might have one page summarizing the novel, but beyond that, it could go anywhere. I'm always willing to tell an editor, "oh, there's a reason why this happened -- we're setting up something that will happen a couple of chapters from now." But each chapter still has to stand alone in terms of making sense and showing logical (but not necessarily predictable) behavior from the characters. I'll continue to be a curmudgeon about the so-called "serial novels," at least for those that meander on for years without any real resolution. My complaint with many (but not all) of them is that there ultimately is no point to the story, and it's just a series of episodes that plod on, sometimes for forty or fifty chapters without a really solid point. To me, if you can't write a novel and come up with a concise one- or two-sentence description of the whole thing, something's clearly unfocused.

I agree with you, Trab. To me, if an author puts an email address in their story, then they need to get both good and bad feedback. I appreciate both. I've gotten several thousand emails from readers over the years (not an overstatement -- I think it's around 4,000), and less than a dozen were negative. One of them, recently, was from somebody who was appalled by the negative tone of Jagged Angel, and I had to reassure them that a) it was just a story, and b) eventually, everything works out for the better. The letter-writer wrote back and said they'd "think about it," but I may never know if they had the gumption to finally finish reading the rest of the story. My feeling is, even if somebody writes and says, "hey, I read your story and thought it was crap," at least they're expressing an opinion. Maybe they're pointing out a genuine weakness you can fix in a later draft. Some of the best advice I've ever received was from my harshest critics.