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DesDownunder

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Blog Entries posted by DesDownunder

  1. DesDownunder
    Okay this is a blatant plug for a great set of endings.
    You all like a good end don't you?
    Have you all read the Story at Codey's World that Codey started and no less than four authors all wrote different endings.
    Whose did you like most?
    Well you can let them know by reading them and voting for the one you like.
    Vote at: http://www.codeysworld.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=436
    No you don't have to vote for mine, vote for the one you like by 30th April. Do it now, then vote.
    Go on Now. Off you go.
  2. DesDownunder
    So there I am bored off my face waiting for a customer to come in to our video store. It's my partner's store really, I just give him coffee breaks.
    Finally a middle aged woman comes in, briskly walking to to the counter.
    "Hi," says I.
    "I am after a video.' she says.
    "We have those.'" I say.
    She looks at me quizzically, but decides to press on, giving my sanity the benefit of her doubt.
    "It's a special video," she announces.
    "You're in the right place. All our videos are special." I tell her.
    Her eyes widen. "It has Michael Caine in it."
    I look at her blankly.
    "And Sean Connery." she adds.
    "I want to hire, "The Man Who Would Be King." she says.
    "I want the man who would be a Queen," I say.
    She waits a moment, raises her left eyebrow with disdain and asks, "This is not a Blockbuster store is it?"
    "No it isn't and they don't have the movie," I tell her as I pull the DVD off the shelf and hand it to her.
    "Oh you have it." she says , looking at the cover.
    "So I have been told." say I.
    "How much is it?' she asks.
    "I don't charge," I tell her, "Oh you mean the movie? To buy or rent?"
    "To rent." she says but I am not a member here.
    "Well you have to join up to rent it." I say.
    "I'm a member at Blockbuster." She says.
    "I guessed that." I say, "You will need to fill out the application form. Do You have your driver's licence for identification?"
    "Yes," she says.
    "We will need a cheque for ten thousand dollars along with your details of tonight's dinner menu."
    She looks at me, then bursts out laughing hysterically, just as my partner returns from his coffee break.
    He takes over, looking daggers at me.
    He is much quicker at this sort of thing than I am.
  3. DesDownunder
    I am certain I have been suffering an URTI, an upper respiratory infection. Of course being a hypochondriac I was certain it was my dismal end until I started to feel better. Better enjoyed me feeling him too. I call him Better because he is better than me at coping with mild complaints. (I'm better at major surgical interventions.)
    So convinced was I, of my fate, I began a dismal poem about "The End."
    I may of course have to wait until I am dead to finish it as I want it to be accurate.
    I made a big batch of what I call my Lentil stew. It cost less than $10 for 14 meals.
    I deep freeze it and when ready just reheat it and do other things to it, like curry it or put it on noodles or both.
    We eat it in the dark whilst we watch a movie so we don't have to look at it.
    Now I can afford to buy next week's cheese and coffee.
  4. DesDownunder
    I just washed the floor in the bathroom and laundry. I try to do it every year whether it needs or not.
    We are having a drought. The Govt. has put us all on restrictions. Water is very scarce.
    I thought I might do a naked rain dance in the street to help. How would that help, I hear you ask?
    Well it would scare the neighbours into leaving the state which would mean more water for those of us who remain.
    Things are so serious with the water that pretty soon I will have to make the coffee with bodily fluids.
    Won't need to add milk or cream.
    Any way I was going to tell you about farthings. Hands up all those who know what a farthing is?
    A farthing was a quarter of a penny. My grandparents told me they could buy quite a bit with one.
    I saw one once, it had Queen Victoria on it...well her likeness anyway. I'm really not that old. She was dead before I was born.
    Remember the Zac from my last blog entry? I was wrong. I have just realised that a zac was sixpence or 5 cents.
    The slang for the threepenny piece was a "tray". I wonder if it was spelt tray could have been trey?
    Well my mom use to get a tray for her lunch money.
    It bought her an orange, a pastie or pie with tomato sauce, a cream bun and a drink of cordial.
    That lot would cost $10 today.
    I'm rambling aren't I?
  5. DesDownunder

    (11) My turn

    By DesDownunder,

    First the computer plays up, now I feel like a zac's (5 cents) worth of shit.
    Actually a Zac was a threepenny piece in the old days before decimal currency.
    Yep, Australia had a silver coin worth three pennies. (I told you, we were a bit strange.)
    It was about 5/16 inch that's 8mm in diameter. That's the size of the coin people. (Jeez, I can't say anything can I?
    We used to lose them all the time. I almost lost as many of those coins as the number of times my partners thought I lost my virginity. (It was the 1960s after all. We didn't have much else to do back then.)
    Anyway I think I have some flu bug or something. Wait, I feel better since I logged into the web.
    Must be the Awesome powers of the Dude.
    Tune into my next entry when I will reveal the secrets of my experience with a farthing. A what?
    Check out the great stories in A Writer's Challenge at the Codey's World Forum
    All entries are now in and awaiting your vote.
    Ronyx has posted chapter 9 of The Mask at The Mustard Jar
    Do read it and email him with your thoughts.
    In fact don't forget that all the authors really like to hear from their readers.
    It only takes a moment do. Come on do it now. Hit the comment button and let me know how much you love me. You don't love me? ok ,tell me that too.
  6. DesDownunder
    Fellow Blogarians, or is that Blogites?
    I am suffering from some computer malfunctions...err what I mean is, that the computer is misbehaving in quite dramatic ways never before seen by man or boy.
    Win XP has determined that my programs need to be installed whilst I am in the middle of using them??? On top of that the file associations are all dropping back to the command line mode, which looks like DOS, but isn't because Micro$oft said that XP doesn't have any DOS.
    So if I seem to be not here, I am busy fixing it so I can return as quickly as possible.
    I think it is okay now but just in case... you know that I have not run off or been run over by a bus.
  7. DesDownunder
    I've been tired and not feeling the best, mainly because the best keep well away from any one my age. Okay, that's not true. The best do come near me, but it is a curiosity thing with them, I think. They still won't let me feel them though.
    I could view my present frame of mind as feeling the worst, but that wouldn't really help either, as the worst won't let me feel them either.
    Maybe my mind is horny and is sick of waiting for my body to catch up to it.
    Yeah, I reckon that would explain a lot.
  8. DesDownunder
    It is that time of the year in Adelaide, where the sun sets
    in a glorious spray of vivid gold and red colours
    that fluoresce the clouds to match the source of their brilliance.
    In the East a near full moon, almost too bright to behold
    is already visible in the pale grey sky soon to be
    the dark blue and black of night.
    The air is still, not even a breath a wind.
    The sky hangs it palest blues before they change
    to green and pinkish yellows as the sun disappears.
    Clouds float and change their clothing for the approaching night.
    The night air, not cold nor hot wraps its warmth around me.
    Stars arc the Earth's night sky as if watching us, watching them.
    And it is all reversed in the early morning as that magic
    that was West is now in the East and dawn matches twilight
    with the eerie silence of the sun's intensity. The night fades to day.
    The stars I watched for hours I can no longer see,
    but I know they are there.
    We call this our Indian Summer.
    Is it any wonder I do not sleep?
  9. DesDownunder
    April Fools has inspired me to write a foolish story.
    As Blue writes:
    "The Gay Prank"
    "~ Brad and Dale want to come out, though they feel a little foolish, and their parents' slip is showing. "
    Hope you all enjoy it.
    (A fool and his story are soon parted).
  10. DesDownunder
    Nothing happened yesterday.
    The weather has changed, summer has gone and you will all be relieved no doubt, to know that I have had to put clothes on to keep warm. No more typing naked at the keyboard till November at the earliest, unless we turn the heater up way too high.
    Daylight saving ended last weekend here in Adelaide, Australia and it is dark by 6 pm. Still we may yet have a few more sunny days of warmth before our Southern Winter hits.
    The above is merely an inane entry to make sure that I can still type whilst wearing clothes.
  12. DesDownunder
    So I have sent in my contributions to the AwesomeDude Fools Call.
    Then discovered I had sent a wrong file.
    Replaced the file, then discovered several typos that evaded my detection during the numerous proofing sessions. Yikes!
    If you want to find all the errors, typos, misdemeanors, and assorted illiteracies in you story, nothing is of more assistance than posting it where the rest of the world can see it.
    Oh, the shame of it all.
    A friend of mine says he proofs by reading his work backwards???
    I find it helps if you have a sleep, then proof it by setting the viewing screen larger so the fonts seem larger.
    The trouble with proofing is that as I am also the author I keep finding little embellishments or sub-subplots to add or alter.
    So I guess the answer is to offer a prize to readers who pick up any faults or errors.
    I think I will offer to sleep with anyone pointing out errors in my work; In my case that should stop any criticism at all.
  14. DesDownunder
    Well that was quite a good distraction setting up this blog. I have no idea what I will do with it.
    I should be writing my April Fools' story. It is nearly finished.
    It is very foolish.
    Today's word of wisdom: Buy a dish washer, or get a boyfriend who won't moan about doing the dishes.
    I have left several notes for my reincarnation to remind myself to make the dish washer a number one priority in my next life, assuming of course I come back as a human being or something similar.
  15. DesDownunder

    First Entry

    By DesDownunder,

    Okay so now I have a blog. What do I do with it?
    I could blog on about lots of stuff but that would bore me and anyone reading it.
    I just want to see what happens for the moment so I'll post this and then get back later with something more...or less, meaningful.

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