Tanuki Racoon

Bad grammar ruins a story for me. No matter how good the writing is, I wonder "is this person stupid or just lazy?" I am not referring to disputed comas, punctuation, etcetera. I mean grammar that is an affront to the English language. I make allowances for younger authors who may not know better, or typos. I'm talking true affronts: 1. Your going home. 2. He took it's temperature. 3. Their too old to work. Anyone who doesn't IMMEDIATELY cringe at those, needs to have their computer taken away. :) Another peeve is stories where two characters meet and are having sex within a half-page. It doesn't work that way. A story has to BUILD, damn it. I also tend to avoid stories with drug use (not my scene). Stories with racial/religious epithets don't get read either. How people in the gay community can use terms like that is beyond me: Of all people, the gay community should KNOW better. All that being said, even a story that peeves me can still hold my attention if it's good enough. No story with horrendous grammar has ever held my attention, though I've been amazingly forgiving on some :) Are you sorry you asked? I will be frank* and tell you I've been very gentle in this post. As an exercises, I read all stories in a few NIFTY categories. Precious few make it past the first three paragraphs, even fewer do I ever return to read a second chapter. If I ever do get to the second (or third) chapter, I write the author. I recently read one story so bad, I was sorely tempted to write the author and ask him to never write again. My standards are unreasonable high, and I accept that. But that's me. -- wbms * Hello, Frank. I'm WMBS. How are you?

Almost. The editor shouldn't rewrite anything. That is the sole providence of the author. I edit in red, marking merrily away -- often brutally. Good authors like that. I like when my editor says "What the fuck were you thinking?" or something smarmy. It means he/she is paying attention. It doesn't mean I won't argue back. The author gets final say on everything except technical issues (if you need a colon, then you need a colon) in which case a textbook is the final arbiter. This is SO true. But the author and editor need not take it personally. The goal of the editor is to make a good author much better. A bad author cannot be turned into a good author by any amount of editing. Bad editing, however, can make an excellent author into a horrific one. The editor must never be afraid to hurt his/her author's feelings. That isn't license to be an asshole. But if something sucks, say so. The few authors I edit, will tell you I'm generally gentle but sometimes I get put out and am completely not bashful about it. And, I abhor laziness in an author. Horseshit. Both need to professional. Friendly is nice for an editor but sometimes it just doesn't cut it. The author ought to be nice as the editor is doing him/her a favour. Au contraire, Monsieur. An editor MUST be good with grammar, spelling, syntax, and diction. Otherwise, he/she is not an editor, but just a person reading the story and trying to help. And, yes, the story content is important but that is a stylistic difference. What works for one person will not work for another. I like long, detailed descriptions. Maybe another editor will say "that's too flowery." Exactly. I miss my she-bitch editor. She was really, really, really, excellent. She was brutal, argumentative, dictatorial, stubborn, but she also made me a MUCH better writer. She was even a nice person except when she was editing. Comments like "I am disappointed in you. This is shoddy writing and you can do better. Re-do it and send it back." were harsh but got me motivated. I have yet to find anyone nearly as good as she was. She was an avid reader, a good writer, and an awesome editor. Everyone since, I measure up to her. (I am not trying to offend my current editors, but they just try too hard not to hurt my feelings and aren't nearly picky enough despite my pleas otherwise. The fact is when my readers e-mail me with an error they've found, my editor has failed.) -- wbms

I rarely ask for my money back, but I have. The trick is you don't get it unless you really do walk-out. If you watch the whole thing, it's much harder. Mostly, I just realize it sucked and to try and pick better next time. -- wbms

I finally read this. A very good read. Very British. A period piece, and I normally dislike that, but this is good. If you haven't read it, I give it my official stamp of approval*. :) -- wbms * Stamp of approval has no cash value and probably won't get your mail delivered if affixed to an envelope.

I have to concede you are correct. However never "assume" anything because _______________.....

Circular Logic is NOT real logic. It's a fallacy. However, I often use it to tormet those who aren't swift on the uptake :) -- wbms

So if I called you an "address label" you'd hate that? Just trying to be clear? Same for "mailing label"? Do you hate all labels? Or just the ones that are sticky on the back? Love, WBMS :)

It smells AWESOME. You are SO wrong. Heathen! Infidel! Philistine. Hmph. Tea is so gay. Oh, um, wait. Never mind :D -- wbms

That's just fucking eeire. You live on the same block I do. Is it a two story yellow house with a white garage door? A silver tricked-out low-riding Honda? If you say yes, I'll scream. -- wbms

The VERY best kind of story, though. Just like REAL life. -- wbms

BTW, it works MUCH better if you spell it right :D Http://poets.awesomedude.com Buahahahahaha. OK, looks nice. Sorry. Had to. ::cough:: -- wbms

Point of fact: turning in your own work (published, unpublished, edited, or not) is A-OK unless you were specifically enjoined against doing so. It is absolutely NOT cheating. Secondly, turn in the one you feel is best. If you have moral qualms, turn in your original after re-editing it yourself. -- wbms

I like what you wrote. Much of that is how I chose to live my life. I am often apologizing for screwing up; sadly, as a human, I tend to make mistakes. I also try and not take things too personally which is what causes half the aggravation to begin with. -- wbms

[1] PR, what say you about the background is a good idea. I am running 1600 x 1024 resultion and it just off the edge. But it's the code, not the text. I had this problem with my web page until a visitor told me to fix it :) [2] I use a Mac and Safari isn't very good. Firefox ROCKS. Dude may have dumped it, but using a Microsloth product is just icky. [3] My nose is full of snot, and I can't breathe. -- wbms

I was quite amused, thanks for sharing. :D

1. It looks good. The white text is a bit hard to read on that background, though. You may wish to pick a new colour scheme. I would suggest a CSS style for the main page and then a different one for the other pages to keep them all consistent and easy to maintain :) 2. I like having the three links to see what's new without having the front page so cluttered. 3. You should have one more though: featured (story or chapter) of the week. Pick whatever you like most for that week and feature a link right to it on your main page. 4. More importantly, there is a bug in your code somwhere. Resize the window. The text on the RIGHT side doesn't move over. You can actually make it vanish. Depending on the user's screen resolution and browser window size, this can produce some very unwelcome side effects. (You may want to see if you specify a fixed-size browser window which is an absolute no-no.) -- wbms

A likely story. Hmph. Chapter 13 was worth the wait. I trust 14 will not be similarly delayed ::pointed stare:: -- wbms

Writer's Block sucks. REALLY sucks. Most commonly, it's the inability to get past a sticking point in a story and just stopping. Also relatively common (and the kind from which I suffer) is just a general malaise about the whole writing process which leads to indifference and no desire to write at all. If you can't write, it's writer's block. It sounds like you just have no desire to actually write. It happens. Once you start obsessing about it, it becomes a viscious circle. Relax. Do something else for a week. Do anything BUT write for a little while and then try again. Good luck -- wbms

It's more complex than that. White in the US is a good colour, where in Japan it means death. So of course, when I said colour is important in my story, I mean for me and the people I know. I believe that didn't really need to be spoken, but I can just picture someone jumping in. An author is writing for his audience generally and not the world at large. -- wbms

I already got my first "what the hell happens next" e-mail. The best part about a short story is that you can decide what happens next. Let your imagination run wild. Thanks for your kind words; as always they are an appreciated bone to this humble* author. -- wbms * or maybe not :D

Say it ain't so :)

All my stories I pick certain colours. There's a reason for that. Not one reader has ever noticed, but I do pick them for reasons. This story is a grey background with a dark blue font. It's all about the mood and the background is the overall feeling of the story and the font is the mood of the action. Colours have connotations, you know? I think it adds to the story. You may have all thought I was busting the Dudester's balls over that. Well, frankly, I wasn't* and I thought I ought to clarify here. I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm a bigger asshole than I really am. And I was pleased to see the Dudester changed it back -- I wasn't expecting it and I wouldn't have been mad if he didn't. Don't y'all hate it when I ramble? -- wbms * but it certainly was an added side bonus :D

You're SO good to me :) ::blows a kiss:: I just thought everybody would take it as a joke. Never do anything important on April First. Thanks. :: Hey, Dude, I didn't know you were a cat person. No WONDER I like you :D Lastly, our very own Graeme has sent me a list of typos in the story which I've fixed. In a few days, I shall send it in to Dude so you can read it typo free. I can't believe my proofers didn't catch them. ::sigh:: -- wbms of the error-laden story (3 errors, AAIIIEE)

I had three people proofread this one. One of my proofers liked it better than Alone which shocked me -- and, in fact, said it was the best thing I've ever written. Wow. Seems you all at least think it's okay and doesn't suck. Dude changed my original colours though so you're reading it in black and white. I actually had 'theme' colours :) Maybe he thought it made my story darker. This story ended up being by birthday present to the Dudester and his loyal legions..... -- wbms