Tanuki Racoon

Yours is so red-white-and-blue I thought it was the fucking fourth of July come early :D -- Stout Scarab

Could have been worse. Two words: Pauley Shore

I got that very same spam. For some reason I opened it and laughed as well.

I'm sorry but discretion is the better part of valour. -- wbms

We all want to see his "versatility" but I've never seen him without pants :/ -- wbms

Hey, we don't need no steenking dignity. :* -- wbms

And don't forget the Tennessee accents. Even more unusual. Plus you get the very odd word cain't. I cain't do this <-- it means can't but it is a contraction of "can" and "ain't" which translated literally as "can am not" which makes no technical sense. -- wbms

For $50 I'll edit your message board posts :)

Hell yeah. WAY different.

I dislike her stuff. But that's just me. Not arguing your persona l preference, but your statement. Obviously I think lots of people are doing better work.

Translated into Yankee, that is "All of you all" and, as you say, individually but as part of a collective group. To a TRUE southerner, this is proper grammar. -- wbms (My grammer, however, doesn't talk like that ::)

Piss on grammar checkers and spell checkers. If you want to be a better writer, write without them. I don't use either. If I have a specific question on a particular word or clause, I will use the computer as a last resort. And, more importantly, the grammar checker in MS Word makes LOTS of errors. Relying on it is foolhardy :) -- wbms

funny@netfunny.com is the moderator for Rec.Humor.Funny the best of usenet humor. It's moderated by Brad Templeton. VERY few posts are selected. Most people don't get in. Your post WILL make it. In 12 years, I've had THREE posts selected but under my real name :) -- wbms [/i]

This is fucking BEAUTIFUL. Might I suggest you submit it to RHF if this is an original work? I'm impressed........ -- wbms

(1) Try using TINYURL.COM which turns that unweildy mess into: http://tinyurl.com/4ezjg (2) Wikipedia is really cool but there are often very serious errors. And on a topic like this it doesn't matter but be careful using it for scholarly work and other things without double checking your facts. I use it too, but that's a friendly word of warning :) (3) It's a subject that is obviously near and dear to my heart as well. I am an American an I speak American English. American English is a bastardization of the Queen's English (or British English). As Twain (I believe once said): we are two very similar countries seperated by a common language. It's not just the spelling (color v colour /or/ encyclopedia v encyclopaedia) but the punctuation (inside or out of the quote marks) and even the diction (in the hospital v in hospital). I could go on for HOURS. Which is probably why many of my readers think I'm English. Until they hear my accent. -- wbms

The copier repair guy asked why there were ass-hairs stuck in all the gears. -- wbms

I think the story should be sent out with, say, a one week time limit. Then the results should be POSTED for all of us. Then we can see our different takes on the same piece. Then, our esteemed victim (I mean AUTHOR), can do it again, and reply with whatever comments are appropriate, fixing technicalities, and we can then all try re-editing the adjusted one. The best part is the editors can fight each other over who's right for which correction. A sample if you will: Die asshole! That is plural subjective tense if I ever heard it. Eat lead, scumbag! Your participle is dangling again. Etc. -- wbms, ever subtle as always.

I will gladly shred a three page story to bits. Actually, I'll do to it what I do to all my authors. It would be educational. And maybe my proofers would see what I'm looking for. I rather like this idea. Brutality as sport :) (I'm kidding on the last comment. Really.) -- wbms

I'm the lord and bastard of my house. Does that count? Congrats to Aj on being Our Lord And Forum Saviour. Rumour is rampant that he got the job because he's got dirrrrrrrrrrrttttyyyy pictures of someone here doing a three-way with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Jackson. -- wbms

I just read the sequel "Games At Deauville" and it was just as good! -- wbms

Kudos for your views on Television. I am so happy someone actually realizes that, I won't mention you meant "drivel" and not "dribble" :D -- wbms

Dear Mr. Rocks For Brains:* Excuse me, BUT Mr. Jar-Jar Binks made an appearance in Episode 3, thereby making SURE it will never be above average. If Jar-Jar had a cameo in Citizen Kane, they'd recall the Oscar™ it won. Surely, your apology and retraction are forthcoming. -- wbms, who like Jar-Jar almost as much as root canal. * I'm kidding, really. Just because that obnoxious playtoy of Lucas' showed up in Episode III doesn't mean the movie is devalued. Sure, Jar-Jar is annoying. Yes, I experience pain when I hear his voice , but his appearance in Ep 3 was expected and it didn't do any real damage, now did it?? No apology, no retraction. So there! ha ha ha! Hmph. -- wbms

Dear Mr. Rocks For Brains:* Excuse me, BUT Mr. Jar-Jar Binks made an appearance in Episode 3, thereby making SURE it will never be above average. If Jar-Jar had a cameo in Citizen Kane, they'd recall the Oscar™ it won. Surely, your apology and retraction are forthcoming. -- wbms, who like Jar-Jar almost as much as root canal. * I'm kidding, really.

Maybe. However "Me, Myself, and Irene" was absolute tripe. Fetid tripe, to be exact. Excrementally challanged. And, mind you, I don't dislike Mr. Carrey. However, that piece of celluloid needs to be burned lest it infect some other poor person.

That ROCKS, dude :)