Tanuki Racoon

Graeme (who I really, really like) -- I am going to pick on a sentence in the latest chapter of New Brother. This is not an attack on your or your editor. But I have to understand something. You had a (very well done) scene of a beating. During which a certain character utters: I shrugged. ?Beats me.? Now, in the middle of this serious scene I busted out laughing. The word "beat" was, to me, a very unfortunate choice. If I was an editor, I'd have flagged that in bold and red with a comment about same. If I was an author, I don't think I'd intentionally use that word in that instance. I am curious if this was a deliberate move or it just slipped in. It was just absurdly incongruous to me. As a reader, I should notice a word that much unless the author intends it. I realize kids talk like that. I'd probably say the same thing even but not in that particular situation. Again, no offence meant but it just bugged me enough to say something because I actually 'fell out' of the story and had to analyze the whole bit.

I don't feel the need to explicitly state either. However all stories take place in A time. So if you can't figure it out easily from the text, you better hint heavily. AWMS doesn't tell you WHEN it takes place, but it's very obviously in the 1990s sometime from all the historical references. Same for where. In AWMS I tell you. In ADIP (or was that Dog?) the place is NEVER mentioned other than it's quite clear it's some small town in present-day times. Whether it's Texas or Utah really doesn't matter. It all depends on the point of the story. I do hate stories that begin: "My name is John and I am 6' 3" and live in San Francisco" that's just crap writing. My two cents.

Nothing to see. Move along. It's no big deal. Etc.

:: "For who the bell tolls" by Ernest Whomingway I should be ashamed. BTW, I want everyone to know I AM NAKED UNDER MY CLOTHES TODAY!

Who's to say who ends up with who. You really never know what anyone's like. You have snippets. Odd. Max (I call him Max since he can't do a damn thing about it) is definitely not likeable. I can't say I like him though I certainly identify with him. Tibor I could give a rat's ass about. Bam? I love Bam. I could write a novel about him but I won't. It's all about the characters. Once you have those you need a plot. A good plot with bad characters leaves a shit novel. A shit plot with good characters leaves a not-so-good novel but you might read it anyway. What? You didn't like Alex? I am crushed. AWMS was planned for 24 so 22 wasn't far off the mark. (19 was really two chapters anyway). ADIP was never meant to be more than a short story. It only made it to a four chapter story because of badgering and look what it got everyone: three chapters and the eternal cliffhanger. I feel bad about ADIP and leaving everyone hanging but I don't even know where to go with it. I'll keep trying because I would like to put it officially in the can.

Oooo. I said I had deleted my tries at a final chapter of it. Well I found an undeleted fragment, and here it is. Maxfield and Tibor walked out into the yard where the smokers went to hide from the teachers and take an illicit puff. It was as close to private as you could get. Teachers rarely came out during classes to see if people were hiding. It passed itself off as an unofficial sanctuary. ?So, Tibor, what?s the deal?? ?Well, obviously I noticed you sort of checking me out earlier.? ?Yeah, well, sorry about that. At least you didn?t seem to mind.? ?No, it doesn?t really bother me. But before you get excited, I?m not like that and you?re wasting your time.? ?So you dragged me out to let me down gently?? ?Naw, I got a boyfriend for you. I want to fix you up.? Maxfield began to retort with an indignant reply but was cut off by Tibor almost immediately. ?I can see I?ve put you out by suggesting that. I was just trying to help.? ?I don?t need your help or your pity.? Wow. That was exciting. Not.

Sure you may post a few words. I think words 17, 32, 48, and 137 will suffice. If you insist word number 208 would be okay as well. Seriously, that's exactly what this is for I believe. I am not sure what the permissible post length is. But if you wait Dude or Blue will answer. I'm sure we'd all like a chance to give our two cents (we're all opinionated in case you didn't notice). -- wbms (aka Resident Smart Arse)

I own a print copy of the OED Second Edition. Sometimes, I just browse through and read random entries in the dictionary. I accept that fact makes me geeky and weird and I don't care. The OED is the final arbiter in all disputes in the English language though it IS missing some common words. (Bimbo wasn't in until recently and geas is still missing which irritates me.)

Horseshit. You just need a billingual editor :) I am fully conversant in UK and US English (and anyone who thinks they're the same is daft). And most people can handle it easily if they understand the nuances between the two. Where Americans normally get hung is on plural singular nouns: EG: The BBC are announcing <--- proper UK The BBC is announcing <--- proper US Of course when you get to slang is where you have the problems, but most rules of diction, spelling, and grammar are easily learnt (learned to a US person) quickly. My two cents :) (And for the record I have one editor who is American and one who is Swedish. I am an American who writes either in US English --ADIP-- or UK English --AWMS. Oddly, most of my readers think I'm English.) So there. Merry Christmas :D

If your editors don't return your stuff you have suck-ass editors. I've had a few of those and they are not happy things. But as you say it DOES improve your writing, forcing you to be on your toes.

Do any of the Awesomedude authors NOT use editors? I use editors and some are okay and some are good. But I still use more than one and plan to continue the practice. Everybody catches different things. And when I have doubts if all the editors say it sucks, then it probably sucks. It's more complicated than that, but you get the idea.

Could you be mis-transcribing from the conversational "I could HAVE done that..." also pronounced "I could've done that..." ??? Nope, Ty of StormFront does this numerous times. Drives me nuts. But not being his editor I don't tell him :)

You're positively evil, or should I say 'your positively evil'?

Let me tell you, based on the posts on blogs, comments on blogs, stories posted on Nifty, and crap I read on the 'net it already has. I think that in most places I could type anything and nobody would be upset or even notice.

Ooooh, he's right! What sayeth the Scarab to that? Kisseth THIS, oh lovely TR :) He sayeth he typeth like shit and woe unto the heathens who poitheth out yon shortcomings. Fie I say! FIE ON THE LOT! WBMS slinketh off, head hung* in shame. * Sadly, this is all that is hung :(

Yeah, but I like you anyway :)

How about THIS travesty: "I could of done that...." Kill me now. Please.

I can edit. But I can be a brutal editor so many people opt not to deal with me. Perfectionist that I am, of course :)

What WOULD we do without WBMS to keep us humble? Full credit to my mother for that horrible joke BTW

Well you have to tell a good story (concept). King CAN do that. So can many authors. Sadly just because you can tell a good story doesn't make you a master story-teller. If it was just coming up with ideas, King would pass but that isn't enough. I also think that the story needs to be communicated well. I can prove this. Look at all the stories on Nifty and see how many good ideas you see that are backed by absolute shit behind it. I'd never actually write an author and say "do the world a favour and never try to write a story again" but a few of those people REALLY deserve it which says a lot if they have a good concept and it's still done so badly as to be unreadable. Grammar, Syntax, Diction, Punctuation are important to writing but they have ZERO bearing on who is a master story teller. You can tell a story verbally, without writing, so as much as I hate bad grammer it doesn't matter here. Personal tastes do matter, but you can allow many authors and rule many out based on technical merits. Lastly, you do have to consider the audience. Colfer is a great storyteller for kids, but not necessarily adults (for example) My two cents since you asked.

Stephen King is NOT a good writer normally. He can be (the Four Seasons book) but mostly he is a hack (Cujo plus anything recent). It's sad because although he's talented it's absolutely wasted on him. Also, with few exceptions you will get arguments on everyone you put forth. People have tastes and what I think is a great story, you may hate. I think Tolkien is unassailable whether or not you like his work, and perhaps some others (Twain comes to mind).

Dude, I've been over the hill since my 20s. :D So, I am even older now. My age is a secret but not a secret. I don't really give it out but if someone wants to know and sends me an e-mail, I'll answer the question more or less. Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspence? A: I'll tell you tomorrow.

Thanks for your kind words and for sharing your personal perspective.

I'll be here for the immediate future. Don't hold your breath for a sequel -- that wasn't EVER in the plans though.

OK Mr. Hiatus. Write if you are so moved or don't write if you are not. Either way, I wish you the best in the future and whatever it holds. Just don't disappear! Who would keep us humble? You're a smartarse, did you know that? I like smart asses. Seriously, thanks for the kind words. I'll be around here for you to kick around. Too many good people (myself excluded of course) writing for our mutual enjoyment, and too many people making posts that I like to reply to.