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aj

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Everything posted by aj

  1. Hey, what do you guys think about dangling participles? I've noticed that the rule against them seems to be easing... ex: "...the rock he was sitting on." vs. "...the rock on which he was sitting." I find that the second construction is a little formal and awkward, and i hate using the word 'which' in fiction, as it's rather weak. any comments? cheers! aj
  2. This is a lovely poem. I'm glad you let it out. aj
  3. I certainly truss that you will...and have her bound and trussed in no time! cheers! aj
  4. I liked it too. Occassionally, we need to be reminded of the power of archetypes in our lives, and the underlying significance of the things we do. We are not just a single, simple life living in isolation from the past--we are the sum of human experience up to this point. Thanks for the reminder. cheers, aj
  5. more precise than WBMS? Oh dear god...lol
  6. This is another really common error. One of the first things i do when i'm editing a new draft is get on the 'find' function of Word and find all the uses of 'then' and correct all the places where it should be 'than' and vice versa. Here, as far as i can figure, is the rule: 'then' refers to a sequence: 'if a, then b,' or 'first we did this, then we did that.' 'Than,' on the other hand, is used for comparisons: 'y is greater than x,' or 'I love you more than you love me.' cheers! aj
  7. Thougt this might be appropriate at this juncture (note example used is tailored to the audience here): Progressive Tenses The progressive tenses are the six tenses in English which show continuous or repeated actions. Sometimes the past progressive is called the imperfect. The six progressive tenses correspond to the three basic and three perfect tenses. They are formed by the appropriate basic or perfect tense of the verb to be followed by the present participle. Present Progressive: I am coming. Past Progressive: I was coming. Future Progressive: I will be coming. Present Perfect Progressive: I have been coming. Past Perfect Progressive: I had been coming. Future Perfect Progressive: I will have been coming. See? even grammar can be fun to read! cheers, aj
  8. Ship a copy out to me if you want...i'd be happy to take a look and make some comments as well. cheers! aj
  9. "I have a question regarding the correct tense to use in different situations. I've been told that generally, when writing in first person, a past tense should be used, even when describing current events." ~Aussie I don't know that one is more 'correct' than the other...but i think the past tense is the one we're all the most familiar with...a rather old convention that probably arose in the oral history tradition of storytelling. I think it may afford one a lot more flexibility in the telling, and it prevents your audience from rushing off to do something about whatever it is you're telling about in the more dramatic moments. However, these may be entirely culturally based biases, and i think it would be an amazing challenge to write even a short story entirely in the present tense, just as it is incredibly difficult to write a story in the second person, in either past or present tense...using the pronoun "you" instead of "I" or "he/she." The problem being, of course, that we're trying to tell the person who's reading the tale that you, the reader, actually did these things, when you know damn well you didn't. That's a lot of disbelief to suspend. But the present tense story...i could see that working, though it would be most unusual to read. cheers! aj
  10. P&J can be found at this time on Nifty, in the gay male section, under highschool.
  11. Robert Jordan, a particularly considerate writer, has a system that makes it a little easier to follow when he shifts pov in his epic "Wheel of Time" ...he assigned each character a personal insignia, and that insignia makes up the header of each chapter that is going to be told from that character's pov. Since it's an enormous work (9 volumes and counting!), and there are several story lines going all at once--3 main ones and several ancillary ones all at once--it's an invaluable technique. cheers! AJ[/i]
  12. Hey cody-- I was part of that discussion as well. I'm coming at it from a position similar to yours, in that i'm gay and pretty pleased about that, and not in a heterosexual relationship (as you might have gathered from the discussion itself). I think Blue hit the nail on the head: it's all about one's belief system and the beliefs of those around you. There can be a great deal of pressure brought to bear on a person to be straight and conform, without a word ever being spoken. Most parents just assume their children are straight until proven otherwise, and act accordingly. If you're gay, then you understand that there isn't a whole lot of positive reinforcement for being gay when you're a kid (do i have a talent for understatement, or what?). So i understand how men get involved in straight relationships and only come out years later. Most men in this situation get caught up in a cycle of lies...telling their wives that it's all good, telling their lovers the same, trying to keep way too many plates in the air at once and then having a catastrophe. Dewey and Aussie are the exceptions to what, in my experience, is the norm: they're two straight up guys who bit the bullet and were honest, which gives them a fighting chance to have their relationships succeed. My heart is with both of them, and I hope with everything in me that their relationships work out as they want them to. cheers! aj
  13. It went very well, thank you very much 8). He knew he needed an editor, he read some of the things i have online (so he knew i wasn't just some weird, random person...well, i think he knew that anyway) and he wrote back saying he'd be happy to have me edit for him. *sticks out his tongue at the doubting thomases* LOL cheers! aj
  14. Hey thirdeye--nice job! I remember well my first time in a club here in seattle...it was new year's eve at the Brass Connection. Had fun, did not go home with anyone, which was fine 'cause i wasn't ready for that anyway. It was incredibly freeing just being around all those other gay people for the first time in my life. Congrats on a big step executed successfully! cheers! AJ
  15. i tend to be of the school that assumes the reader is better at making up a picture of the character in their head than i am on the paper. I give 'em a few details in the body of the story, then let them sort it out. What makes the story good is what the character thinks, feels and does, not how they look. aj
  16. Tolkien did it with just about every chapter...I can't think of a better reccomendation for the technique. I remember how LoTR was the first work i read where story lines just changed with no warning...i loved it. aj
  17. I'm out of the loop in this one--what is dimebag? Yeah, i know what the term means literally, but it sounds like a title here. AJ
  18. Welcome! Always nice to get a new partner in crime... just another wannabe, AJ
  19. Hey Green-- Just finished Mr Black...it seems like a very promising premise, and good characters as well. Hope to see more of this very soon.
  20. Recently read this nice piece over on the archives, under the SF/Fantasy section of gay male. Nice done...I liked it so much that i contacted the author and volunteered to do some editing on it, in fact. cheers! AJ
  21. Green, is part five of Heroes missing on your website? I read all the way through to five, and then there's a gaping hole and part six starts after that. AJ
  22. The biggest surprise for me was when the australian girl who was the receptionist at a facility I was working at noticed me putting on my jacket, and asked me if i was going out to "smoke a fag." I must have given her quite a look, because she hastily explained that by fag, she meant a cigarette. She also mentioned that in Oz, a piece of candy is actually a lolly, while candy is a reference to someone we might call a slut or a ho, over here. cheers! AJ
  23. Huh...that's a bit of a departure for the site. Nicely done, as i've come to expect from Joel, but a bit different. cheers! AJ
  24. I have a feeling that dialogue is going to be your best bet. it needn't be too cumbersome, if handled well. This means doing all the standard things: clearly marking who is talking so your reader doesn't get lost, and not letting one character engage in a monologue. Give it a lot of back and forth, turn up the tension and let it roll. Your readers will be right there with you.
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