Signs that you are reading a bad story

[Cole Parker]

Anytime Des wants to hide his lizard, it's OK with me. I think we've seen too much of it anyway. Women and children probably visit here.

C

[DesDownunder]

Anytime Des wants to hide his lizard, it's OK with me. I think we've seen too much of it anyway. Women and children probably visit here.

C

Cole, are you saying that you have somewhere I could hide the lizard?

[Cole Parker]

I was hoping you wouldn't interpret it that way!

[Dshiwhtsmna]

Not necessarily a bad story, but I know a writer is going to annoy me if the story starts with a short history of the setting. I don't need to know when the town was settled or that the decline of the local industry left it a shell of it's former self.

[TracyMN]

Women and children probably visit here.

Yeppers, and this is why.

If for no other reason, to read every single dictionary definition of the word "turgid".

Some words you just know are going to catch attention, and who better than a bunch of writers to run with one?

Big fun, James, and I daresay this kind of thing is good use of your talents.

My personal favorite hate is the handsomesuccessfulrich--madly in love having hot sex everyday rain or shine...who acquire a child

and get rid of Mom with no imagination at all.

Has anyone started a story with the protagonist drifting off to sleep? What would the next sentence be?

Tracy

[Merkin]

'Later, as he began to awaken, he became aware that his arms and legs were stretched unnaturally in the direction of the four corners of the bed, and that his ankles and wrists seemed to be bound tightly; in fact, the only appendage free to move about was his member which, alas, appeared to be turgid.'

[Cole Parker]

Yeppers, and this is why.

If for no other reason, to read every single dictionary definition of the word "turgid".

Some words you just know are going to catch attention, and who better than a bunch of writers to run with one?

Big fun, James, and I daresay this kind of thing is good use of your talents.

My personal favorite hate is the handsomesuccessfulrich--madly in love having hot sex everyday rain or shine...who acquire a child

and get rid of Mom with no imagination at all.

Has anyone started a story with the protagonist drifting off to sleep? What would the next sentence be?

Tracy

Well, if you want it to be clich?d, the next sentence would probably involve him entering some fantasy land he'd have a dickens of a time getting out of.

C

[TracyMN]

No sense asking what happened to the quote that went with those quotation marks, but it was the comment that there were probably women and children around...

I was thinking more along the lines of decreased respiration, mouth breathing, and maybe a little drooling. Drawn out to 4 or 5 paragraphs.

And oatmeal for breakfast.

Tracy

[Cole Parker]

No sense asking what happened to the quote that went with those quotation marks, but it was the comment that there were probably women and children around...

I was thinking more along the lines of decreased respiration, mouth breathing, and maybe a little drooling. Drawn out to 4 or 5 paragraphs.

And oatmeal for breakfast.

Tracy

Which is exactly why, when you get an idea for a story in your head, you should go ahead and write it instead of passing it along to others to have their way with. When you do that, you'll almost always be disappointed, because they'll write to their inspiration, not yours.

It's much the same with making movies from books. If you loved, really loved, the book, you'll generally find the movie disappointing because the director had a different vision of the material than that of the original author that you liked so well.

So, Tracy, you have an idea percolating in your brain for at the very least a flash fiction piece. Sounds interesting. Flesh it out and let us see it here.

C

[TracyMN]

All of those, and one little question:

Are you out of your mind?

As if I don't embarrass myself enough...

Tracy

[Neil]

I never wrote one myself but read many stories. Here are some observations I found relevant to this thread:

1. Ending every chapter with a cliffhanger.
   
2. Giving away the plot or story development too often.
   
3. Too much information and repetition. Is there really a need to describe the details of "the deed", from the beginning to its climactic end, or their various iterations and modifications, every time it is done by the same set of characters? Or the details of daily routines in every chapter?
   
4. Even the neophyte is an instant Casanova. Can you give some examples from your own readings?
   
5. Characters blessed with sharp eyes (sometimes even x-ray vision) that can estimate the size (length, width, circumference, etc.) of the male genitalia with the precision of a caliper.
   
6. American urban settings (schools, parties, social gatherings, etc.) where "four-letter" words, and expressions like, "like", "You know", "what I meant to say" and other related expressions are foreign in the conversations. The reverse would be conversations where these expressions are used by everyone.
   
7. Average characters (i.e., average teens or younger characters, or "common people") with grasp of "the abstract" or "fundamental principles" sufficient enough to parry with Socrates or articulate their thoughts like an English Professor.
   

More later.

Neil