Ode to the thirty-nine year old

[Bruin Fisher]

An Ode to The Thirty Nine Year Old.

Drugs up my Nosey

And Bongs in a Bucket

Give it a nudge

If it moved, then I'd fuck it.

Buff men in tight shorts,

And guys with cock rings.

These were a few of my favourite things.

Gay Pride in Brighton

A Sauna in Luton

Waking up somewhere

On some unknown Futon

Scared to roll over

In case the man mings

These were a few of my favourite things.

When the phone beeps

When the text comes

Am I feeling bold?

I love thinking back on my favourite things

Cos then I don't feel, so old.

Walking down soho

And checking out arses.

Check out that hot guy -

Look back as he passes.

Waiting in cubicles

Will he come in?

This was just one of my favourite things.

Time goes by quickly

I think of the good stuff

Those days are past me

Now I don't look so buff.

Eyes ringed with wrinkles

And muffin-top tum.

Neither of these are my favourite things.

In a lay-by

In a car park

Men just leave me cold

And that's when I know that I've hit thirty nine

And now I just feel, so old.

By TheBigP - originally posted at www.outeverywhere.com

[Cole Parker]

An Ode to The Thirty Nine Year Old.

Drugs up my Nosey

And Bongs in a Bucket

Give it a nudge

If it moved, then I'd fuck it.

Buff men in tight shorts,

And guys with cock rings.

These were a few of my favourite things.

Gay Pride in Brighton

A Sauna in Luton

Waking up somewhere

On some unknown Futon

Scared to roll over

In case the man mings

These were a few of my favourite things.

When the phone beeps

When the text comes

Am I feeling bold?

I love thinking back on my favourite things

Cos then I don't feel, so old.

Walking down soho

And checking out arses.

Check out that hot guy -

Look back as he passes.

Waiting in cubicles

Will he come in?

This was just one of my favourite things.

Time goes by quickly

I think of the good stuff

Those days are past me

Now I don't look so buff.

Eyes ringed with wrinkles

And muffin-top tum.

Neither of these are my favourite things.

In a lay-by

In a car park

Men just leave me cold

And that's when I know that I've hit thirty nine

And now I just feel, so old.

By TheBigP - originally posted at www.outeverywhere.com

Bruin, did you really write this? Without your name on it, I'd never have guessed. Maybe your alter-ego? Or is TheBigP someone else entirely?

Anyway, good job, and I have a question. I love learning new words, and there's one in here I've never encountered before. Ming.

So, thinking it was definitely one of you guy's English oddities, I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary. Surprise! It's the first word I've seen there that none of the definitions had over 50% acceptance. All the definitions were basically unacceptable by the crowd, and, surprisingly, few of them seemed to have anything to do with each other!

Obviously, none of you guys agree on what it means.

So, what is the meaning?

Inquiring minds, and all that rot.

C

[JamesSavik]

whoever wrote it is brilliant.

[Steven Keiths]

I too do not know what 'ming' means. My guess was mingle--Hey, I'm not a poet. I loved this piece, however.

[Merkin]

It's even better set to the music.

[Bruin Fisher]

Well, you're dead right, Cole, I didn't write it. I wouldn't have the gall! TheBigP is the user name of a guy on www.outeverywhere.com. I just spotted his poem, thought you guys might like to see it, asked his permission and hey presto!

As for 'ming' well, there's a usage here, mostly by a particular group of youngsters. They describe something that smells bad, or a person who's particularly ugly, as 'minging'. "That's last week's milk - it's minging, man!" "Matt's bird is a looker, but her friend is a right minger!"

I have no idea of derivation...