Useful Writing Tips? :-)

[Gee Whillickers]

[Cole Parker]

Damn. If I followed all those suggestions, I couldn't write a word.

C

[Merkin]

Seems redundant. Moses got only ten.

[blue]

I skipped that funny Latin stuff at the top. I think maybe they were talking about the Village People or Nilli Vanilli, and I sorta liked both bands, but all those funny-looking words make me scrunch up my eyes like this ::demonstrates:: and it's hard to watch the tube like that. (*)

Well, I done read that-there long list. (Shoot, he sure is long-winded!) And I was purt-near the top o' the list when I saw this one item right-cheer:

"Employ the Vernacular."

Well now, I think that's really mighty nice of that feller. See, Vern is kinda nice and all. He's...well, don't tell Vern, 'cause he might get all bashful, and I'd get way more bashfuller, but.... Vern is sorta...he's kinda good-lookin', handsome-like, sorta, aw shucks, don't tell Vern I said he's sorta cute when he gets that gleam in his eye and takes off'n his shirt when he's workin' out there. An' please don't let on I, uh, was lookin' out there...

Oh! Uh, Vern! Hi, Vern! How are you? What, no, I was just talkin' to Earl, we wasn't sayin' nuthin', I just... mmmpfh, mmm...oooh, hey, Vern...aaah, oooh, whooo-eeee! Vern!

...

^ infamous, highly meaningful three dots, as we fade to black...

(BTW, that little drabble had nothing to do (as far as I know) with Jim Varney, who played Vern, back in the day. And, well, I wasn't particularly thinking of that Vern when the idea just sort of materialized.)

No, no it really doesn't have anything to do with the topic, does it. Sigh. The Eee-viiil Plot Bunnies are just messing with me, that's all.

Say, that mental image of Vern *was* kinda cute....

There go those three dots again. What's up with that? :rotfl:

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(*) Anyone not paying attention: That was satire, sarcasm. I *like* foreign languages. A lot.

[Chris James]

Hmm, like Cole I am aghast...this doesn't leave me any room to write my stuff!

[DesDownunder]

I hate authority, I intend to break everyone of those laws...Wait, I already have.

[Gee Whillickers]

While good writers often break many basic rules of writing, writers don't usually get to be good by breaking those rules. Instead, they get to carefully break select rules after they've proven they can follow them.

[Chris James]

I agree GW, after you make that million dollar sale you can write anything you want. Look at the Beatles who admitted writing pop music for years just to make the money, but after the White Album everything changed and the money still kept rolling in. Too many authors to name who did pretty much the same thing. Wish I was one of them

[Richard Norway]

Hell, I'm still learning the rules, and now Des wants me to break them? I just learned about the "Oxford Comma" a month ago.

[colinian]

I find that using all of those recommendations makes writing so much easier!

Colin