Tragic Rabbit
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Posts posted by Tragic Rabbit
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Another one of TR's 'true' stories. Like Truman Capote, I subscribe to the idea of 'non-fiction novels' and storytelling.
This one was inspired by a link sent to me Wednesday night by a friend. The photo collection and commentary therein first upset me, then haunted me, and finally motivated me to write a small story about one of the photos. Doesn't seem like enough, really. Maybe there'll be more.
San Jose, 1933. Join Robert on his first hunt with the Dog Boys, as he tries to be the man his father wants him to be.
Let me know what you think, okay?
Kisses...
TR
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Romance Face
In a chance encounter
I met your romance face;
It was much the best one
And won the hello race.
I?ve since seen the others
And wonder at your guile;
You wear silken shadows
And hide behind your smile.
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Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. And you are?
Interesting first AD post...
I did not realise that you had to be known to have an opinion on stories hosted on this site. I apologise for giving my honest opinion.
When you first enter a house, is your first instinct to criticize or be rude? Mother always said that first impressions are the most important and lasting so, since you are not known, this is the first and only impression you've left us with.
Honesty is, they say, a dying art but one more often appreciated in the breach than in the observance.
TR
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Josiah, he could have said it a LOT better. He's not a writer and that's not a nice way to phrase your first AD post.
My serialized story started out that way, too, with me not sure what was expected or required from a Nifty story, and then later realizing I could have less sex, more plot, characterization and romance. Anyone who's tried writing one, for their first attempt and from the Nifty perspective, would likely have the same transformation as they learn what is appreciated by readers. Moving over to Awesome Dude also helps, you get feedback on things that have little or no sex, feedback on your writing itself and the skills you're acquiring while doing so. I started writing a year ago, with the first chapter of Drama Club, and when I finally do a rewrite of the whole thing, it's those first chapters that probably need to most overhaul. You learn a lot but you learn by doing, not by critiquing someone else's efforts from the sidelines. That's not learning and that's not helpful for anyone, in my opinion.
Don't take this guy too much to heart, Josiah. I love your story...and I've read a lot more than he has.
Kisses...
TR
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I have to agree with the author here and say that these first four chappies are rather poorly written.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. And you are?
Interesting first AD post...
TR
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tawny skin, lion eyes
glowing, knowing eyes
you lie serene,
secure, demure
against the pillows of my bed
bemused, enthused, amused,
those bewitching,
lightly twitching
silken, satin lips, ah,
such an struggle not to smile
my love, my threaded heart,
ringed round with golden strings
so tight, and yet so light
the silver smithied jewel cage
where lives my beating blood
heated fire, heart?s desire
runs throbbing through
thrilling, filling me with fire
its rhythm true-
the flame is you
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Daisy Game by TR
I touch the flower with my hand
Trembling petals and tender shoots;
I think of you, your loving voice,
Then yank it out by living roots.
You love me, yes, a petal falls,
And that explains the hang-up calls,
Why you?re talking to all my friends,
And what you write on restroom walls.
You love me not, and off it comes,
Another petal of pure white,
But that?s why I have burglar bars
For when you visit in the night.
You love me, yes, a petal chucked
As this poor weed is slowly plucked;
Like me, this battered blossom feels
Just utterly, completely fucked.
You love me not, and I?m relieved,
For I?ve grown tired of screening calls
And jumping each and every time
A nighttime step behind me falls.
You love me, yes, and that fact, alors,
Will take me down to clinic doors
To ensure you?ve not left a gift
That might well end up causing sores.
You love me not, so I take the mail
To the postman for X-ray screens;
I think of you along the way
And wonder what that ticking means.
Love is rancid, love is sweet
Love is wrangling ways to meet,
Love is catches in your breath,
Love is apt to cause my death.
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http://www.tragicrabbit.org/poems/Daisy-Game.htm
Kind of curious if this rhyme scheme works or not, I wonder if changes, differing patterns, distract and whether identical rhymes, at least for end of lines, are better for that reason. Other rhyme/assonance/resonance/etc aside.
Yeah, just ended (finally) yet another inexplicable entanglement. Makes me a little nervous, if past experience is any guide. Ain't love grand?
Kisses...
TR
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Questioner was repeating Bill Coleman's idea, I was just clearing up the minoosha. The play's listed as published in 1994, movie in 1997. Bill's post was eloquent, I don't care to add to it as I share most of his opinions on this (and some other) subjects.
TR
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I saw the play in the spring of 1993 at the Paramount Theater in Austin Texas. There was a movie made of the play in the mid nineties.
Strange, it was published in 1994. The movie came out in 1997.
TR
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There was a play in the early nineties entitled Twilight of the Golds, (a Wagnerian play on words),
1997, actually. And more a play on Wagnerian words:
http://victorian.fortunecity.com/manet/394...94/page18a6.htm
TR
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Dave :smt089 you left out the poets!
Just kidding and yes you're right. I think awesomedude has the most talented bunch of writers on the net.
Oh and long posts and TR? He could care less how long they are as long as you say his name in every other paragraph. :-D
Codey
Thanks, Tristian, and I agree with Codey that we have some of the most talented Net writers here at AD. He's wrong, though, in that my minimum for allowing a post through is mentioning me in EACH paragraph...
Kisses...
TR
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I think if you want to write something, you should go write it and THEN ask what people think. Discussing a bit of fiction that doesn't exist seems...well, putting the cart before the horse. First see if you can write something, and then see how it looks because it may not be what you think it'll be, and then ask what people think. And something having been done before shouldn't stop you either, you just write what's in your head. You can't tailor what is in your head to what you think or are told is what people want...that doesn't work. Like sitting around trying to figure out what kind of books are selling most..that's not a way to finish a book, or even to begin it. You can't fit your writing into what other people think you should be writing, you just have to write what's in your head. And probably the less you talk about it, the better, and that's according to writers with far more experience than I have. I've only been writing as long as Graeme has, a year, but I do know that if you talk about it beforehand, it won't get written. Have you written anything yet?
Kisses...
TR
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I love this story, the Angels are wonderful and the storytelling excellent. I hope you'll check it out, linked front page center.
Kisses...
TR
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P.A.s can be very hot.... and lots of fun
Precisely what I told Codey.
And they are nothing like flu shots, EC, getting any piercing with a needle is kind of trippy and cool in and of itself.
Kisses...
TR
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Not going to bring up the subject of your P.A. Graeme?
:p
Maybe he needs help bringing it, ah, up?:p
TR :twisted:
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Dear Rad,
They are funny, aren't they?? Whitehouse.org is that site but it's part of the Chickhead group:
This is another of their sites:
They are hilarious and welcome donations! I love funny people...
And I love you, too, Rad.
Kisses...
TR
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My left ear is pierced because THAT is my gay ear. The other ear is pansexual. In fact, my earring is a very thick gauge and I like it a lot. Makes me look ever so butch. As does the tongue stud. I'm so tough, I sometimes scare myself.
TR
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Scan to donate
OUTED by Rick
in Readers Rule!
Posted
http://www.awesomedude.com/stories/short_s...ories/outed.htm
Rick, author of Castaways, that fabulous story of boys on the high seas and naked on desert islands, has written a sweet and utterly charming story about being unwillingly outed to his father.
Caught in bed one afternoon with his high school boyfriend, Dan's not surprised when his Dad wants to have a little talk with him. But what he finds out is anything but what he expected.
Read OUTED and post here about what you think.
Kisses...
TR