EleCivil

Well, I grew up in this same area - I lived in what was lovingly called "The White Ghetto" or "The Wonderbread Projects" - so I was already fluent. Heh. Another advantage to growing up in the same area where I'm teaching? I understand "Welcome Back, Kotter" more than I ever have in the past. From what I've seen, that's just a nickname. They're not pluralizing; it's just more socially acceptable than "Mommy" and more affectionate than "Mom." Kind of like calling your grandfather "Gramps."

Thanks!

These grammar/usage pet peeves make me smile. If you were to visit my school, you might all suffer massive brain hemorrhages within minutes. If "I'll go with" bothers you... My students tend to believe that every preposition is interchangeable, the word "is" and all it's forms do not exist, subject/verb agreement is optional, and that when in doubt, use the words "dude!" "man!" or "fuck!" (including in academic papers). Also, the word "up" always, ALWAYS precedes the words "on," "off," "out," and "in". For instance (overheard earlier today): A: "Where Malahj'zia?" B: "He up on bus, dude!" A: "Man! Why he on bus?" B: "Fuck, they all BEEN been up on that bus." A: "Dude need to get up off that bus." B: "He do!" I live in a world of non-standard American English Vernacular.

I love the Happy Fun Ball. And Phil Hartman. My all-time favorites: Old Glory Insurance Robot Repair (more Phil Hartman goodness!)

"Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire." -W.B. Yeats "Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us." -Charles Bukowski "Ulysses S. Grant: Ulysses S. Grant was a BIG fat guy with a beard who was drunk all the time and became president for some reason. In other words: Ulysses S. Grant = PUNK." -From the novel "Punk Land" by Carlton Mellick III

As an update: The final draft of the first chapter has been submitted to both AD and CW.

It's the same basic idea - he uses it for timing and visuals, I use it to catch typos and spelling/mechanics errors that might have slipped in. It doesn't really help for editing story cohesion, realism, or scene transitions, but it's great for the mechanics. It's more like proofing than editing, I guess - that's why it worked so well for me when fixing up non-fictional school papers. When you read straight ahead, especially something you wrote yourself, your brain tends to fix its its own errors. (See?) But if you're going backwards, you can really look at each word individually. I imagine using a text-to-speech program would work the same way, actually. Same with reading aloud, provided you go slow enough to read what it says on that page/screen rather than what you think it says.

I was working on Leviathan Rusts earlier today, after watching The Big Lebowski and splitting a pot of coffee with a local DJ (Yes, it's always a wacky adventure!). So, amped up on caffeine and with a head full of surreal scenes and strange dialogue, I had one of those Eureka Moments. The entire plot became clear to me. The beginning, middle, and end all aligned before my eyes, and the characters' arcs all fell into place. I had some basic ideas and a first chapter written, but now it's all pieced together. And I'm thinking this might be my best story, yet. I'm excited. I love it when a plan comes together. Of course, now I've got to tweak the first chapter some more. Remember when I said in a previous post that it would be released in December '09? Don't count on it. I mean, there's still a couple days left in December, but I'll still need to get it edited, and then it'll probably be a few days until The Dude and the CW Web Guys get it upped. So, January 2010. A new story for a new year. After all, anyone who's followed my stories before knows better than to believe me when I mention a deadline, right? If you want some hints about what it'll be like, read on. If you'd rather be surprised, stop here. ---- Last chance. ---- No, seriously this time. ---- Don't say I didn't warn you. First, a recap: Leaves and Lunatics - My first attempt at writing a novel/novella/serial story. At the time, I was aiming for Nifty Archives quality, because that was about the extent of my experience with net fiction. I started writing it when I was 17 and fresh out of high school. It was a somewhat sappy romance story with a lot of editing mistakes and some plot points that still make me cringe. The story didn't really go anywhere. But it did have some characters that I like. I rushed the ending because I had the idea-seeds for Laika and I wanted to get started on it. Laika - My second serial novel. As I explained in the Afterward, I played around a bit with symbols and theme (socks = freedom). It fits a lot of the characteristics of a screwball comedy - A central romance, romance across cultures/socio-economic strata, fast-paced dialogue, false identities, some physical comedy, etc. I wasn't as happy with the ending as I could have been - I kind of ran out of steam, and the last couple chapters fizzled out and included some scenes that didn't really go anywhere. Still, I'm happy with how it turned out. Now, my current project... Leviathan Rusts - The third in the "L series", it takes place in the same "universe" as the first two stories. Keep an eye out for returning characters. It takes place about six years after L&L, and about two years after Laika. The main characters are college aged. It does not take place in Curson, MI or Gordon, OH, but in a new city - the college town of Milkthistle, OH. The protagonist may be difficult for readers to relate to (except for one or two of them, who might get him right away). As for genre...well, it's different. At some points, darker than Laika. At others, lighter than L&L. That's as much as I'll say - you can see the rest for yourselves. Here's some hints. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Anthropology http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebus http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leviathan *** Update: First chapter has been sent to a (potential) editor.

I swear by the backwards edit technique. It was a staple of mine throughout college, both when editing my own papers and when editing others'.

Story Link So, in preparation for the COP15 climate change conference, the Copenhagen city council sent a bunch of postcards to city hotels urging that the owners refrain from hooking up clients with prostitutes. In response, prostitutes (legal, there) are offering free services to anyone who brings them one of these anti-hooker postcards. This story has everything: Prostitutes, protest, AND that letter "O" with the diagonal line through it (?). Throw in a couple explosions and a subplot about time travel, and we've got a summer blockbuster.

I've gotten some decent feedback from "Anonymous", which makes me wonder whether or not they would have been willing to send anything at all without that option. Still, messages like the one in the opening post are a clear example of John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory. Source

And THAT'S why I'll be looking for an editor. Or at least a beta-reader. Heh. Fixed.

Leviathan Rusts Everyday Adventures of a Social Misanthropologist ... ?I love you the way I love the efficient digestive system of the invasive zebra mussel." ... ?Rent?s due. I need it in my hand by sunset, or I kick your ass to the curb, then back in here, then back out to the curb, again. Why?? ?Because you?re just that hardcore." ... "A guy doesn?t get any?relief?for as long as you, and he ends up simultaneously mounting and head-butting a Coke machine out of sheer frustration. It's the first corollary to Moron Theory. And you?re far too dignified for that." ... May is one long, full-scale taunt of a month. Simply calling its name forces thoughts of uncertainty. Will the weather be decent, today? It May. It fluctuates from violent to peaceful, from overcast and deathly quiet to glaring and buzzing with yellow jackets, all pollen-drunk and petal-blind. So goes the mood of its human inhabitants, equally flower-gorged. Equally beauty-stricken. Equally surprised by the sunbeams stretching for their hibernating eyes. ... December 2009

And what I think is the most important question: Where the hell is a school teacher getting the kind of money it takes to hire a hit man!? And, of course, the follow-up: Are they hiring?

Heh. I just had my 5th graders read that book. Clearly, this guy hasn't read Frindle. At the end of the story, we find out that the teacher was secretly working on the kid's behalf, as the "Frindle" phenomenon would have never been as widespread without opposition. By casting herself as a villain, the teacher helped the kid achieve fame and fortune, even though he never realized it until the very end. Anyway, I had a similar incident with some students last year. They would shout the same nonsense word in the middle of class. Repeatedly. Every day. I ended up "snap-suspending" a couple of them ( a one-day suspension, given by a teacher rather than an administrator). It sounds ridiculous to suspend someone for something like that, I know, but it became necessary. If a student shouts something every time a teacher is trying to teach, it can get the rest of the class off-balance, making learning difficult, if not impossible. And I can't let a few goofs rob the rest of the students of the opportunity to learn. Plus, managing a classroom is a lot like managing a dictatorship: Hang a few of the repeat offenders publicly, and the rest fall into line. So, I can see the principal's point of view. However, I think he's going about it the wrong way. When they interrupt a class, and keep other kids from learning? Absolutely, bring the hammer down. But banning the word will only make it more popular. It's like saying "Don't think about elephants!" - of COURSE they're going to think of elephants! Let them "Meep" 'til they're blue in the face when they've got free time. Let them wear "Meep" shirts. Even better, have faculty and staff start doing it. It'll just be a matter of time until they get bored with it, as it'll lose it's edge. It worked for me. More people with contempt for authority need to grow up to become authority figures. We know how our own kind thinks.

(Actually, I wear a black fedora, but that was close enough.)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8301120.stm Repeated, because this stood out to me: ...So don't get too excited, yet. But in the video clip, he did say that legislation has been introduced in the house to end DADT.

Sounds fun.

Wow...what did you plant? It's not quite ripe, yet - the eyes are still a bit green.

My gut instinct, upon reading anything written from a fiscal libertarian viewpoint, is to shout "CLASS WAR!" and throw a brick through a window. But I'll refrain from doing so, for now. Heh. I see a lot of begging the question and strawman arguments. He starts out be equating economic beliefs to religion, and asking why we aren't equally accepting. Two things come to mind: 1 - Many people are NOT accepting of others' religious beliefs. In many cases, tolerance is the best we can aim for. As in, "I disagree with you completely, and I wish you would change your mind, but I guess we'll have to live with each other." 2 - Unlike economics, no one (in America, anyway) is FORCED into a religious system. We are going to be in an economic system, however, be it a free market, a regulated market, a state system, or even a barter system. You don't really get a choice, there. As such, it isn't a matter of "You go your way and I'll go mine." It's a matter of trying to convince others so that they will vote (or revolt) with you in order to reform or maintain the current system. That's how democracies work. His next premise seems to be "If the poor don't like being poor, why don't they just get rich, already?" (Now, why didn't I think of that when I was standing in line for food stamps with my parents? Jeez, if only there had been some libertarian venture capitalists around at the time to set me straight.) This is followed closely by "Illegal immigrants come to America to be exploited." The author asks "Do you admire highly paid sports figures yet disdain highly compensated business executives?" My response is a resounding "Hell, no" on both sides. "Does it matter whether the shareholders in the companies that employ these executives feel they are getting their money's worth? And if you're not a shareholder, what makes this issue your concern?" It's not a matter of "Those execs make too much money." It's a matter of "Those execs make too much money when compared to their workers." If an exec is making a million dollars a year in "bonuses" while the average worker gets a twenty dollar gift card to Wal-Mart and is forced to buy their own health insurance, it's everyone's concern, because those particular execs ARE making their fortunes on the backs of the poor. The way I see it, if an exec wants a raise, he'd better give everyone under him a raise, too. Can't do it? Earn more money, or be content with what you've got. That's right - contentment. It's a dirty word to capitalists, I know, but I happen to like it. The author then wheels out my old favorite, the "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" argument. Nice, in principle, if you ignore things like generational poverty. Children growing up in middle-class homes with professional parents are familiar with THOUSANDS more words by the time they enter Kindergarten alongside underprivileged children. This alone is enough to put them at an instant disadvantage, from which many of them never catch up. Add to that the fact that schools in poor districts are often underfunded, understaffed, and ignored until it comes time to flog them for not measuring up to the standards set by middle-class, middle-age, suburban white people working for a standardized testing corporation. States then use these numbers as an excuse to deny more funding to these very schools, leading to a cycle of under-education of the poor. In simpler terms, you're shouting "pull yourself out of that hole!" while setting fire to the rope. "If a poor person becomes rich through hard work then resists handing his money over for the benefit of the poor, is he a traitor to his class? Should he be treated differently than someone who inherits great wealth? How about someone who wins the lottery? Why?" Yes, no, and no. Why? Because a person who becomes rich due to the opportunities given them in this country should give something back to it. The author's next point is awesome in that he contradicts his own earlier viewpoint in an essay about challenging contradictory viewpoints: "...does it matter to you if the attendant incentives and disincentives reduce the total amount of wealth available to be shared? Is making all people equally poor an acceptable solution to inequality?" Earlier, he said: "Is there a fixed amount of wealth in the world for all to share? If so, where did it come from and how has mankind been getting richer for the past 200 years?" With this earlier question, he is implying that there is no fixed amount of wealth (a common libertarian viewpoint, and a necessary premise to the "bootstraps" argument mentioned above - 'the rich aren't taking all the money, the poor just need to make some more!'). He then argues that progressive taxation disincentives will reduce A FIXED AMOUNT OF WEALTH, leading to everyone being "equally poor." But, Mr. Author...if venture capitalists start becoming "equally poor", they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, right? I mean, you have no problem telling poor people to do that, now (via the coded language of "taking responsibility"). He then goes on to equate taxes to stealing from children, Big Brother spying, racism, and gangs of thieves. Nice. "Do you resent being asked to justify your economic beliefs or the moral foundation they rest on? Do your ends always justify your means? Do you feel entitled to having your beliefs respected solely because they are yours? Would you feel the same way about your mathematical beliefs?" If you can't justify your beliefs, you should get some new ones. Seems simple enough to me. No need to "resent" a challenge - you should view it as a way to get your point across. "Are you comfortable holding contradictory beliefs? When was the last time you questioned them?" Question everything. It is my strong belief that one should not hold strong beliefs. "What do you do when you discover you hold two beliefs that contradict each other?" The whole world and all of life is a big, flying mess of contradictions and confusion. That's what makes it so damned beautiful. Hail Eris. And, of course, the author shoots himself in the foot by throwing all sense of impartiality out the window with his closing sentence: "What other outcome would you expect when moral foundations crumble?" And here I thought capitalists were OPPOSED to begging. No wait, they don't like begging for money. Begging the question is cool. Overall, though, I thought it was a fun read. Not the best pro-capitalism challenge I've had, though. I've got a friend who I swear was possessed by the ghost of Adam Smith. Now THERE'S a guy who can almost convince me to support a tax cut for the rich. Almost. ...CLASS WAR!!! *windowbrick*

And, like everything else that starts in California, it hasn't made it to Ohio, yet. The clips work for me.

I'm speaking of metric Assloads, 8 of which comes to about 5.87 Fucktons when converted to the imperial system.

No one told me that when, over the course of 23 years, you accumulate roughly eight metric assloads of books, you eventually have to MOVE eight metric assloads of books. To a third floor apartment. With no elevator. Sweet Fancy Moses, this is gonna take forever. Yes, those are all books. But on the plus side...I've got a lot of books. Also, I've got a new place that's fairly close to my new job. Best thing about the new place? I can finally get broadband access. Up until now, I've been scraping by on my gas-powered 56k connection. "Our aspirations are wrapped up in books, Our inclinations are hidden in looks." "Wrapped Up in Books" by Belle and Sebastian

I got a job. Just in time, too, with less than two weeks before school starts. I don't want to give too many details in a public post like this, because I wouldn't want to be recognized (hit me up on AIM or YIM if you're that curious about the details). Here's what I can tell you: I'm a reading teacher for a mix of elementary and middle school students (that's right - my designation is "EleMiddle." Heh.) It's an inner-city school with 99% of the population below the poverty line. Many of the students are homeless, parentless, or penniless. It's a very poor school in a very poor area during a recession, so I'll probably be laid off at the end of the school year, regardless of performance. The school has no art, music, gym, recess, or extra-curriculars. These were all shut down because of low test scores. The school itself is on the verge of being shut down by the government (depending on this year's test scores).

Oh, jeez, this is the humor board, and here I am talking about mass extinction and starvation. Hang on.