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Questions we don't ask but should.


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Someone sent me this list of questions today, and since I don't know the answers, I figured I'd pass it along for you to take a crack at answering

the questions.

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those tiny bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards

N-A-I-V-E

2. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea...does that mean that one actually enjoys it?

3. There are three religious truths:

A: Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

B: Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

C: Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. If a pig loses its voice, is it dis-gruntled?

7. Why do croutons come in airtight packagees? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

9. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

10. If lawyers are dis-barred, clergymen de-frocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be de-lighted, musicians de-noted, cowboys de-ranged, models de-posed, tree surgeons de-barked, and dry cleaners de-pressed?

11. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed Up?

12. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

13. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

14. People tend to read the Bible more often the older they get, are they cramming for their final?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wonder, do Chinese mothers use toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps, so that the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

18. Why is it that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

19. If lightning wouldn't zigzag, what would the speed be?

20. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

21. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice, that, when you putthe two words "The and "IRS together, it spells "THEIRS"?

And never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

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You're both idiots.

It's pronounced "eleventy-one" :)

If it's:

Ten

Twenty

Thirty

Forty

etc.

Then it's:

Tenty-one Tenty-two etc.

Twenty-one Twenty-two etc.

Thirty-one Thirty-two etc.

Forty-one Forty-two etc.

etc.

Colin :lipssealed:

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11. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed Up? Well... many of their customers already are.

13. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? MEAT

14. People tend to read the Bible more often the older they get, are they cramming for their final? No- its just easier to follow the thou shault nots when you couldn't if you wanted to.

18. Why is it that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive? Because New Orleans drivers are scattered to cities all over the country.

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