Some Enchanted Evening by Tragic Rabbit

[EleCivil]

Loved it. Quite possibly my favorite of all of TR's writings. The mood and the language and the characters...everything just seemed to "click". One of the few stories to have me crying after reading it, rather than just during. I'll admit, I'm an easy touch when it comes to stories - pretty much anything'll set me off if it strikes the right chords - but this one really hit hard. Don't pass this one up, guys.

[Graeme]

Beautiful....

[Tragic Rabbit]

Loved it. Quite possibly my favorite of all of TR's writings. The mood and the language and the characters...everything just seemed to "click". One of the few stories to have me crying after reading it, rather than just during. I'll admit, I'm an easy touch when it comes to stories - pretty much anything'll set me off if it strikes the right chords - but this one really hit hard. Don't pass this one up, guys.

*blush* really? Geez...

But seriously, thanks, I did put a lot into this from an emotional standpoint and want the story, whenever I can get it proofed/edited to be as close to perfect as I can get it, as close as I can come to how it seemed in my head the other day. I also did check on some of the time-specific information used and, in one instance, deliberately used something that I knew to be innaccurate because I liked the effect.

I guess this qualifies as my first 'historical' fiction and I think I'm interested in doing more. I've always liked ghost stories, reading the occasional story in the gothic vein is a secret passion, seldom admitted to. I first encountered this style in a box of steamy gothic romances that my mum gave me as I teetered on the cusp of puberty. They were, evidently, something she'd gotten out of her system as a teen but they fascinated me! I'd never read such torrid romances and often with nothing more, if even, a single kiss exchanged! Thwarted passion, heartfelt longing, tragedy and pathos! Hardcore hetero, of course, which is, in part, where last week's idea of a brooding, romantic gay ghostie boy came from. A mouldering mansion, a melancholy love-lorne ghost...but with a difference-he likes boys. Anyhow...glad anyone liked it, and gladder still that I made someone cry. I was a bit teary when writing a couple bits myself, esp the end.

Evidently, its not clear at the end what the white rose on the doorstep is about? Yes? No? Just a little add on. I'm also wondering how Christian came across? Is he interesting? Likable? Understandable? Believable as a boy of his time? What about Ian? Thomas, was he believable or was his change around Christian too...something, too abrupt or unrealistic? Was the tone and style of the writing too heavy handed or did it fit the situation? It's formal but seemed to be what the tale called for...but definitely a first for me, writing that much purple into my prose. Felt a bit like some overblown 19th century novelist. But fun as hell!

What parts of SEE did anyone like best? Least?

I'm still waiting on proofing but should have a better version soonish. The idea just hit me late last week and its delayed the other projects a tad but not too much, the DC stuff due last weekend, for instance, and the other short stories sitting here in note form. For some reason, this one had to be written right away, something I prefer to do if I'm able. If I'm not, I make as detailed a batch of notes as I can and then set it aside. Right now, I have several really good ideas (so thinks I, in all modesty) but they haven't found their way to fruition yet, thus making me even more determined to write when the bug hits.

For them that asks, no, DC [A Kuo Christmas, DC19, a new spoof] ain't cancelled, just delayed.

Kisses...

TR

[EleCivil]

Evidently, its not clear at the end what the white rose on the doorstep is about? Yes? No? Just a little add on. I'm also wondering how Christian came across? Is he interesting? Likable? Understandable? Believable as a boy of his time? What about Ian? Thomas, was he believable or was his change around Christian too...something, too abrupt or unrealistic? Was the tone and style of the writing too heavy handed or did it fit the situation? It's formal but seemed to be what the tale called for...but definitely a first for me, writing that much purple into my prose. Felt a bit like some overblown 19th century novelist. But fun as hell!

I thought the ending was pretty clear (and a nice touch, too). The characters all seemed believable to me, but I'm no history expert. I don't really know much about...well, any of the time periods covered, so you could have gotten away with anything there.

The tone and style really made this story for me. The only adjective I can think of for it is "beautiful", really. I'm don't think it would have had the same emotional impact if it had been in a more contemporary light-n'-loose style.

What parts of SEE did anyone like best? Least?

Best - Probably the stopped suicide attempt.

Least - If I had to pick, it would probably be the very beginning, with the history of the house and the family. I actually skipped this the first time through, then went back and read it later.

[Graeme]

Firstly, I'd like to say you ask too many questions! :D

While analysing a story to work out what worked and what could be improved is important, especially for new authors like you (and me), sometimes the sum of the parts is greater than the parts themselves.

This is a story that I wouldn't want to over-analyse. It really does have that strong gothic style that you mentioned. The character and background reflect this style and I think you've done a great job. The only reason I won't say an excellent job is that I haven't read many gothic style stories to compare it to.

The two parts of the stories show a marked contrast. The early, 1910 section really does give the feel of that era. I personally found myself straining disbelief originally with Christian's background, but it suited the story so well, once I got into it, that it didn't bother me after that. The later section with Thomas came over as a lot more modern in tone, which is exactly what you wanted.

Just accept a VERY WELL DONE and try not to over-analyse it.

Graeme

[Guest rusticmonk86]

It's touching. I didn't want to read to the end. But . . . I had to. *giggles* Not just because I was helping you edit. No. But because I was held captive. Man, I felt so lonely after reading the rest of it. I had to go watch America's Funniest Home Movies to get back to my normal mood. (Which, in case you were wondering is mostly, "If I killed all of the stupid people in this world, would it be considered genocide?")

Anyway, you're story made me feel. Which was awesome. So fucking awesome, TR. Good job.

[blue]

I am still getting caught up on reading. I read Some Enchanted Evening last night. Oh man, good job. I liked the genuine period feel, from the almost 19th century novel of the part with Christian and Ian, to the successful transition to the mod 60's. I didn't catch whatever anachronism might be there.

A few of the points you asked about:

Ian? All too believable in any era. :sigh:

At first, I thought Thomas had done what he attempted and Christian prevented. When I got to the sentences that explained how Christian had prevented it, I had to reread the sentences before. It was only a moment before I realized it. I think that was more me than the way you wrote it.

The old man and the white rose. -- I am about to look up rose symbolism, but I believe a white rose symbolizes honor in memory of a loved one, friend or family or lover. I am sure the silver-haired, blue-eyed old man is Ian at 68, whom your story says has probably laid a rose there every year since Christian's death. The story used very few words to make an unstated comment on whatever Ian may have really felt for Christian.

I hope you'll try more historical pieces. Heck, try whatever genre you'd like. Might as well stretch those writing muscles. (Pauses to comtemplate a gay muse stretching. Ahhh.)

Great job, TR.

[Bruin Fisher]

Okay you wrote this nearly four years ago, TR, but I've only just read it. So I've traced the discussion thread and am posting to it - the first post here since January 2005!

You guys out there, have you read Some Enchanted Evening? If not you really ought to. It's a beautiful piece of writing as everyone who's posted here says.

Reminiscent of both Jane Austen's gothic novel Northanger Abbey, and William Shakespeare's fantastic drama A Midsummer Night's Dream, it tells a magical story featuring a crumbling mansion with creaky floorboards, and a young man who is neglected in childhood but finds a degree of happiness from his affinity with small wild things. If I say any more it will be a spoiler, so go read for yourself. You won't be disappointed.

Bruin

[Richard Norway]

Thank you Bruin for showing me the path to this story. I hadn't seen it before, but I'm new here. Bruin, TR...my partner is not pleased with you right now. I started reading and I missed giving my dog his dinner, forgot all about making dinner for my partner and I (he nuked something in the micro), ignored him all evening long and then cried on his shoulder after I had finished. I get very teary when I see love realized.

I didn't skip over the discriptions of the old mansion. Reading the gothic style led right into the affair between Christian and Ian and it seemed so believable. And yes, the later part with Thomas was written in more of a modern style befitting the time, 1962 ( I grew up in that era. I graduated from high school in 1962).

Richard (marvelously crying)