Jump to content
Xzor64

Just another dream...

Recommended Posts

My eyes alight as I look into his

Time freezing where our gazes meet

The flame in my heart, smoldering for so long

Rekindled in an instant by his warm smile

He seems so far away

I move towards him but I feel slower than molasses

Tears of joy streaming down my face

Finally we embrace

His strong arms wrapping around me

Holding me close

I bury my face in his chest

My breath warm on his skin

I hear his heartbeat in time to mine

He runs his fingers through my hair

Down my neck

Whispering sweet words of love in my ear

I look up into his eyes

Forgetting everything in the world

My legs barely keeping me up

Going wobbly

He leans in close

I feel the light stubble brush across my face

It tickles?

Our lips meet in a sensation explosion

My love pouring out of my soul through my lips

I close my eyes, my head spinning

If only this moment could last forever

I open my eyes again to find?

He?s gone?

The sunlight dancing through my window?

Xzor64 ?2008

Questions, Comments, Testimonials all appreciated.

Link to comment

I don't know about questions, comments or testimonials, but I liked it a lot.

'I look up into his eyes

Forgetting everything in the world

My legs barely keeping me up

Going wobbly'

Been there, done that! :wav:

Thanks for sharing

Camy

Link to comment

Xzor64,

Our lips meet in a sensation explosion

My love pouring out of my soul through my lips

I close my eyes, my head spinning

If only this moment could last forever

The protagonist takes us on the journey of sexual awakening with stark images, vivid descriptions and highly charged erotica.

A truly great poem, though I do have issues with the title...

Throughout the piece, the reader is lulled into believing he is witnessing something private and meant only for the two involved. This gives us the feeling of voyeurism and almost makes us guilty for peeking into this private moment. Then like a masterful poet, the piece turns and in the end you are left breathless at the realization this is nothing but a dream...a fantasy.

From the title, I knew from the beginning where the piece was heading, and I believe if you change the title to something more ambiguous, the end will grip the reader all the more powerful. Of course this is just my opinion and I'm known for being wrong most of the time.

Great piece, I truly enjoyed reading it.

Jason

Link to comment

Well thank you very much for your words, I greatly appreciate your thoughts on the poem. I agree with you on the title and I guess I hadn't really put the thought into that piece of it, but I see your point now that I do.

Glad you enjoyed it =)

~Tyler

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...


×
×
  • Create New...