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Method Number Seventeen

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"You're my best friend."


"No one else'd do this for me."

"Let you sleep on the couch? It's nothing."

"I love you."

"Yeah thanks."

"No, I really do love you."

"You're drunk."

"I've loved you for ages. You're so beautiful and kind."

"You're straight and married mate, remember?"

"No! No I'm not really straight! I just got married to cover it up, but then I met you."

"And I've already got a boyfriend."

"But you don't love him anymore. You said so yourself. And I don't love my wife. I'm so lonely."

"Tell me in the morning when you're sober."

"But I can't! I'm too ashamed. I've got to get drunk just to work up the nerve to tell you!"

"You're gonna wake up tomorrow and forget all about this. And I'm gonna pretend I've forgotten too, okay?"

"You could take advantage of me and I'd never know."

"What kind of mate would I be if I did that?"

"Please, I just want to be with you."


That won't work either. Scratch method seventeen. Method number eighteen...

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Nicely written conversation, Kapitano.

It reveals the irony of the virtuous sober gay guy and the pleading, plotting, somewhat drunken straight friend.

I'm thinking I want to know methods 1-16. :icon_tongue:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks guys. Here, in no particular order, are some of the other methods:

* Contrive to get injured so he'll have to treat me so we can get close

* Contrive to get him injured to I'll have to treat him and "fall for him"

* Get him drunk

* Tell him my wife's thrown me out and I need a place to sleep

* Get us stoned, then play truth or dare

* Hire a male prostitute for him to catch me having sex with

* Let him catch me watching gay porn

* Tell his gossipiest female friend that I fancy him, so she'll tell him "in confidence"

* Tell his boyfriend (who he's on the verge of splitting up with) that I've got a brilliant plan for getting them back together...

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