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JamesSavik

Broken

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I finally got around to reading it yesterday, and I will admit that it really upset me. Knowing that it was autobiographical in nature disturbed me considerably.

The writing itself is very easy to read, and has a very natural feel to it. There were a few typos along the way, but as it hasn't been editted yet, that's understandable.

The writing is great -- James certainly has a talent there -- but I'm having trouble relating to what he went through. It is just so far outside my experiences that I found it very upsetting. My initial reaction was that if the story ends up long enough, it will be publishable.

Graeme

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Hey James--

excellent story. I read it all at one go, and enjoyed every word. Having come from a similar background, only in alaska, and not having a best friend like that, i was actually a bit envious of Jimmy--how much does that blow?

I appreciated the development of Jimmy's character through the action in the story, with a minimum of explication...just letting his actions speak for themselves. Travis is an interesting character...one wonders if we'll see him again? He was important as a point of character development for Jimmy, but an interesting guy in his own right as well.

Someone mentioned typos in the story--yup, it needs an editor or proofreader, but they weren't all THAT distracting, and i'm more than willing to put up with a few misspelled words for good language, which this one definitely has.

Dewey is right, I think. There are probably a number of publishing houses that would be interested in reading this manuscript if it goes on long enough. If not long enough, i'd send it to an anthology request and see if you can get it printed in a collection.

cheers!

aj

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I have finally read it and wonder whyfore it hasn't made its way here. It's pretty good. Yeah, there are typos and other issues but the most important part is a Good Story and you've got better than that: it's fantastic. You also have a nice writing style: it flows well.

Keep it* up.

-- wbms

* The story, you perves, the STORY.

Thank you WBM. You've given me enough energy for three chapters!

Why Broken is not here is a good question.

I blundered through the web and happened upon nifty ages ago. All I happened to pick out to read were "wet" stories without a lot of ummmm... staying power. Erotica has its place of course but after reading three, you've seen them all. I figured that was all there was too it and moved on.

Back in December, I discovered CRVBOY's site and came across a whole different kind of gay fiction that appealed to me greatly. Stories more about life than sex with relationships and sex put into proper perspective. I came to really dig KIT's Tappings and the work of Christopher Patrick Lydon's Carter Series and started looking in earnest to find more like it.

Soon afterwards, I came across Dewey's Brian & Pete stories. Considering some of the paralles in my experience with that story, it was like a slap in the face. Truthfully, at first I hated it and quit reading for a while. It brought to the surface painful emotions and memories that I had long repressed but were always there in the back of my mind like a insidious poison.

It caused me no small amount of turmoil. A lot of old demons that I thought that I had buried a long time ago woke up and started raising hell. Sleepless nights, not eating, nightmares when I did sleep- Brian and Pete had a deep impact on me.

I decided that I needed to get back on that horse and ride it. I read the entire B&P series. Sometimes laughing out loud and disturbing my cats and other times with tears running down my cheeks. I came to love those characters because I am one of those characters. The experience was a very valuable and healthy emotional cartharsis that helped me get in touch with who I am. It raised my Emotional IQ and allowed me to look at myself then and now as not the big, crazed freak that people told me that I was but for the person that I really am.

For those reasons, I am in awe of Dewey and his work. It's amazing and so is D. He has inspired and encouraged me to take on this project and I am honored that he has seen fit to host it.

I mean no disrespect to anyone, there's a lot of very good sites with a lot of talent but Deweywriter is a very special place for me. It helped me to find myself after being emotionally lost for a very long time. I want Dewey's site to be Broken's home.

Broken is not finished yet. It's an alpha draft that may end up being 30 chapters or so. It's not ready for prime time. Truthfully I posted it to make sure it didn't stink too bad.

In the future when Broken is further along, if Dewey has no objections, I would be honored for other sites to host it. For the developmental stage of the project, I think that it should stay put for the time being so we won't have multiple versions out there.

Thank you guys for your comments, kindness, inspiration and support. It's been hard to get this ball rolling but it has inertia now.

I also owe a special thanks to talon_rider as he has taken on editing duties which for me requires both great skill and the patience of a saint.

-James

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James,

Thank you. I am humbled by your words, and honored that you want DeweyWriter to host your story.

However, I have no say in whether or not you post your story at other sites. It is your work, and I would hold no grudge against you for posting it elsewhere, least of all here. There are some excellent people here at AwesomeDude, and most have a literary bent that doesn't exist at DeweyWriter. It may benefit you, both as a person and as a writer, to post here as well.

When the time comes and you feel ready, I would be honored once again if you would join the ranks of the hosted authors in the index page at DeweyWriter.

As always, the decisions are yours to make with your work. No matter what you decide, I am happy that you are finding yourself, and that I had a part to play in your journey. :)

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For the record... I have received no recommendations that I post the story either from forum members or the author. I would be glad to consider it if that's what you want...

I can't be everywhere! :p

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For the record... I have received no recommendations that I post the story either from forum members or the author.  I would be glad to consider it if that's what you want...

I can't be everywhere!  :P

Why the hell not? You are the omnipotent leader and we expect you to be everywhere. Next thing you know, you'll be telling us you're a mere mortal. I, for one, will not believe it.

So :P :P :P :P

Love,

WBMS

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For the record... I have received no recommendations that I post the story either from forum members or the author.  I would be glad to consider it if that's what you want...

I can't be everywhere!  :P

Dude-

Broken is now edited and ready up to chapter 12. 13 is in the editor's inbox and 14 is cooking.

As Dewey has no objection, if you want to mirror Broken here at awesomeguys, I would be honored. There is a lot of talent and some very good stuff here.

I am writing a short story specifically for awesomedudes as my "try out" in which I experiment with shifting POVs. When it's ready, I'll send it to you and you can let me know if I made the team.

-James

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For the little that it's worth, I'd like to add my recommendation. The story is of good quality, and one that I think is important to be told. I'd like to see it here at AwesomeDude.

I didn't say anything earlier, because it did need editing, but now that that is happening, I think it deserves serious consideration.

Graeme

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Fine James...

If you'll send along your story files... we'll enroll you in the New Writers Series which will tell everybody you would like maximum feedback and constructive crticism...

And you get the spiffy little NWS logo behind your name... listing on the New Writers Forum page... sorry, the secret decoder rings are on backorder.

Story files to dude@AwesomeDude.com.

And thanks to Dewey... but you know we are all family here and I highly recommend his site to all.

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I am happy to say... after five years... James has finally got it up!

Congratulaltions, James! It got up in the early morning hours here in the desolate California Desert and has erm... made my day.

Looking forward to more!

Mike

:cat:

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