9 Guys You'll Sleep With in College

JamesSavik · October 7, 2011

The Athlete

OK. You can stand the competitiveness to get next to those pecs and abs. It's not that he looks like a Greek god chiseled out of marble that turns you on about him. It's that dreamy look in his eyes.

It takes about a month to figure out that when he gets that dreamy look, he's thinking of somebody else.

Mr. Perfect

No. He's not a wrestler except in the sack. Mr. Perfect is everything you always wanted... except for the cheating and the clap.

The Hipster

Like anyone that has ever fed a tom-cat, you gave him sex once and now you own him. Unlike the tom-cat, you can't drop him off at the pound.

The Cute Dumb One

You can't help but fall in love with the cute dumb one. His vulnerability is so appealing. It takes dating him a while to figure out that he'll be a high maintenance life long project. Trade in on a red neck or a geek. At least they can fix your car/computer.

The Buddy

It's inevitable. Everybody makes the mistake of sleeping with one of their buddies. Problem is that weirdness factor afterwards. So... do you want to play video games or blow me? You can see how this will get complicated.

JamesSavik · October 7, 2011

The Pretty, Pretty EMO Boy

This is a mistake of epic proportions. EMO boys are like crack: they are highly addictive and hard to get. They will only find you sexually attractive until you turn 20 and then you immediately become a sad old troll that they are embarrassed to be seen talking to. Sure the sex is amazing but the early troll-hood just ain't worth it.

The Geek

OK- he's not very sexy or attractive but he'll love you like it is the first time- because for him, it probably is. Sure he tends to be socially awkward and might need coaching to shower and brush his teeth every day but dammit, he's reliable. He can either fix your computer or build you a new one that would make the NSA jealous.

The Drunk

No. Just no.

The Redneck Kid

Whether he is from Kansas or Louisiana or Texas, he's polite and has some old fashioned ways but you can always count on him to be true. He can fix your car and shoot burglars between the eyes. He's a keeper.

Cole Parker · October 7, 2011

First time in my life I've ever said this: I like the Redneck!

C

Bruin Fisher · October 7, 2011

He's not going to turn into Sarah Palin, is he?

Merkin · October 7, 2011

No, but you'd better resign yourself to making out under the stars in the business end

of a pickup truck that usually hauls composted vegetation.

Bruin Fisher · October 7, 2011

... making out under the stars in the business end of a pickup truck

Gosh how romantic!

Chris James · October 7, 2011

College...I remember those days...dinosaurs roamed the earth and diplomas were etched in stone. :icon_twisted:

I avoided the pretty boys and decided that the quiet ones were a better choice. They would be called geeks today, but they were the unculled crop and surprisingly willing partners. Rednecks may look cute but after rolling in the bed of that pickup truck what could we talk about? Post-coitus I would prefer to have a conversation of the intelligent kind. But to each his own.

Cole Parker · October 7, 2011

Looks are one thing. Perorating long into the wee hours about Kierkegaard and Adam Smith and the meaning of life is quite another. I was commenting on the looks of the fellow, not his suitability as a life-partner.

But then, I never did much care for perorating when pirouetting with someone who looked like that was the other option! :icon_twisted:

JamesSavik · October 7, 2011

Where you are from doesn't determine how intelligent you are.

Guess what all of these Universities have in Common- besides being in "red" states:

Tulane

Tennessee

Ole Miss

University of Texas

Auburn

Vanderbilt

Texas A&M

Southern Methodist

Brigham Young University

Ohio State

Penn State

Michigan

Michigan State

Georgia Tech

Stanford

University of Houston

Rice

Notre Dame

California

University of Kansas

Baylor

Florida

New Mexico

Utah

Arizona

USC

Pittsburgh

Big time football?

No. They produced Nobel prize winners.

Cole Parker · October 7, 2011

Where you are from doesn't determine how intelligent you are.
Guess what all of these Universities have in Common- besides being in "red" states:

Tulane

Tennessee

Ole Miss

University of Texas

Auburn

Vanderbilt

Texas A&M

Southern Methodist

Brigham Young University

Ohio State

Penn State

Michigan

Michigan State

Georgia Tech

Stanford

University of Houston

Rice

Notre Dame

California

University of Kansas

Baylor

Florida

New Mexico

Utah

Arizona

USC

Pittsburgh

Big time football?

No. They produced Nobel prize winners.

For those unaware, Rice, a school located in Texas, is a really fine academic uni. But, I'm not aware that they've ever been a football power. The others on the list, with the possible exception of Tulane, certainly qualify for that 'big time football' label.

C

Rigel · October 10, 2011

Where you are from doesn't determine how intelligent you are.
Guess what all of these Universities have in Common- besides being in "red" states:

Tulane

Tennessee

Ole Miss

University of Texas

Auburn

Vanderbilt

Texas A&M

Southern Methodist

Brigham Young University

Ohio State

Penn State

Michigan

Michigan State

Georgia Tech

Stanford

University of Houston

Rice

Notre Dame

California

University of Kansas

Baylor

Florida

New Mexico

Utah

Arizona

USC

Pittsburgh

Big time football?

No. They produced Nobel prize winners.

There's a problem with this list of "red state" institutions. California is decidedly not a red state. Scratch Stanford, California, and USC from the list. New Mexico is still a blue state. Scratch New Mexico. Pennsylvania is a blue state. Scratch Penn State and Pittsburgh. As is Michigan--scratch Michigan and Michigan State. We can quibble about Ohio (Ohio State), but the list still looks like it was composed during an attack of color-blindness.

--Rigel (though I like the initial advice which began the thread--if you select a mate for superficial reasons, you're likely to wind up with a superficial mate)

blue · October 10, 2011

Where to start?

The guys I'll sleep with in college? I missed out. I was uptight. I was not out. Heck, college was when I finally had to admit to myself I was gay (duh!) and that didn't go over too well with myself. (Oh, the drama.)

I don't know what it would've taken to get through my thick skull if someone had tried to talk with me, sat me down and actually tried to talk about it. (I got the, "Son, you know you can talk to us about anything. What's bothering you?" Except I was afraid to say, "Mom and Dad, I like guys, I'm gay!") Friends didn't get past my shielding either. If someone had just gotten me comfortable enough to talk, or if they'd sat down and found out if there was some way to talk to me about it without scaring or depressing the snot out of me.... But I don't know how they could have. Even the most direct approach of asking me, or propositioning me, would've probably gotten my hackles up. (Uh, hmm, certain approaches, however, might've gotten past that, and direct or extremely subtle and careful probably would've....)

OK, enough trying to figure out my college-boy self. (But I wish someone had, and I hope any guys out there who are trying to figure themselves out will decide they can be OK with themselves, whether they come out yet or not.)

Hah, OK, but if I could have, since that (and the message to be careful who you choose) are what this is about, who would it have been?

(Hush up, plot bunny muses, I already have more story ideas than I have ever finished. They're trying to start another story idea with this one. Science fiction, too. OK, write it down later....)

Gee, that's like asking, who would my dream guy be? Or maybe, who's my type? Or at least, who would you like if you had the chance? Aha, yeah, that pretty much is it. (Versus, you know, who's the guy who might be a *successful* and healthy relationship for the two of you. Though I think the intent of the thread was to say, careful who ya wish for, ya might get him! But have fun wishing. And be careful while finding out.)

That first guy, the athlete with his eyes closed, hey, he looks nice. Looks like he might *be* nice, beyond the looks. Staying away from Mr. Perfect / Mr. Muscle / Wild Man of the Jungle, there. He looks like trouble to me. YMMV. The hipster goofy guy? Say, oddly enough, he's appealing. If nothing else, he looks like he'd like my weird likes, so we might be friends. (What can I say, I also hang out at science fiction fan forums. You thought I was all squeaky-clean and straight-laced, huh? ;) I like to tell myself that, but I'm not, not quite.) The geek? Well, he may be just a cartoon drawing, but he's just drawn that way. Besides, I *am* a geek. (And btw, any experiences with guys have been anywhere from "never had a chance" to "whoa, bad idea, why didn't I see that before?" to just plain disappointing. (Also probably, "Ben, if you'd ever catch a clue, Guy-G was trying to get you to notice." (I confess total cluelessness on the last one. If any guy was, I missed it big-time. Darn it.) So yeah, a nice geek-boy might fill the bill. The redneck/cowboy guy? Dang, aside from, he's cute as anything -- I'm from Texas. Of course I'd go for a nice country boy. So yeah....

Please Note: I had various crushes in junior high and high school, but except for two of those, I was too clueless to figure out that was what I was feeling. The two were major crushes. Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy! If this makes you think I was "more gay" than I'm telling... I honestly didn't understand my feelings (and didn't admit or accept them) until those two big crushes made it apparent to me. And possibly to the two crushes and one crush's friend.) Life events screwed up any chances of finding out if either was really interested. I think one might have been, maybe. The other, probably wasn't, but oh, my teenage hormone-fevered brain was too busy having a crush to pay much attention to that until it became pretty obvious, again from life events screwing things up.

Some of us need more than a manual. I think some of us need a friend or two to sit us down and find some way to reach that inner guy and say it's OK, here's how you figure it out. (And by the way, XY isn't trying to make trouble, he really *likes* you, you big dummy. So start sending signals back his way.)

Yup, that was one of the problems: The very few times anyone actually asked me if I was gay, I always felt they were trying to make trouble. Why? Because those times were in public, not one-on-one or with close friens or from close friends. Never mind that twice I publicly did stand up for friends who were accused of being gay, and said I didn't care if they were or not, they were my friends. I just couldn't, about me. If a friend had asked me privately, maybe I could've opened up. Maybe.

Heh, however, I'm very aware that asking the wrong way or assuming could hurt a friend's or relative's feelings, whether he or she is gay/bi/etc. or straight. Propositioning could work out badly for both sides, if it's not done in a way the intended can deal with. So my advice there isn't very much help.

Uh, it has occurred to me, writing this, one way or two that probably would've worked...or would've gone spectacularly splat. Hahaha, I can laugh about that, because it hadn't really occurred to me until just now, and I really doubt a friend would've tried that, knowing me. LOL, but hmm, sayyy, that just might have.... *giggle* Dang, don't I wish. (Especially if Major Crush #1 or #2 had....)

Well, on that fun, bright note! ;D

(I've been way tired all weekend. My hormones apparently have rested just enough to kick in with at least a sense of humor, if nothing else. Hah, glad of that, even so. Needed the laugh.)

Sayyy, that sure sounded like fun. Hmmm, now is there a story in it, and more importantly, could I write it and you know, *finish* it?

More importantly than that -- I wish, sometime soon, I could get enough rest that I might actually feel like going out and making some new friends and some new activities. The lack of any social life, zero, is really getting to me. Yes, even the loner guy wants a hug sometime. (OK, OK, I want a hug and more, but I want the friendship most. Uh, yeah, and more too.) (I'm tired and the quite type. Believe it or not, I do have a sex drive. Uh....) (How do you say that without either sounding like a prude or a horndog? LOL. :-/ )

See? I need a manual. And a lab partner.

blue · October 10, 2011