Jason Rimbaud Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 "I haven't seen you here before, have I?" "What?" He stammered out as he turned to look who had spoken. Greg's eyes widened; standing before him was one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen. She was slim yet slightly muscular. She wasn't very tall and had blonde hair that he couldn't tell if it was bleached from the sun or a bottle. Her green eyes were focused intently on him. "I asked if you were new here, I haven't seen you before." Greg blushed and shifted his feet. "I live at the house down the hill and I've heard the fun up here for three days so I decided to crash the party." "You're cute when you blush." She giggled. "I'm Sara." "Ah, I'm Greg." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm pretty sure," Normally he thought girls looked stupid when they batted their eyes but somehow she managed to look sexy as hell when she did it. "If I'm not him, then I'm wearing his underwear." She laughed a musical laugh. "That's kind of kinky, an underwear fetish." "Only when I'm wearing underwear." "I think I like you, wanna buy me a drink?" "Absolutely." 1 Link to comment
Camy Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 Super! A perfect one scene flash. Link to comment
Cole Parker Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 Very nice, Jason. Wish we'd see more of you and your writing here. C Link to comment
colinian Posted October 21, 2011 Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 Jason, I love it. She had a cute pickup line, too (and it's not the "I haven't seen you here before, have I?" line). Colin Link to comment
blue Posted October 21, 2011 Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 Jason, thanks for a nice little flashfic scene. Neat humor to it. But besides that, thanks for making me have a heated, aggravated conversation inside my head. You see, I got disgruntled at myself when I caught myself thinking, "But it's not a gay story." I had to ask myself, as reader, writer, and editor, why in the world I would think such a narrow-minded thing. Yes, Aw-Dude is a gay-friendly story site and so is Codey's World. But that doesn't mean they, or other sites Aw-Dude is friendly with, are *only exclusively* about that. In an ideal world, it wouldn't matter if the story is gay or straight or bi or.... It wouldn't matter. As an editor, I was very aggravated at myself for catching myself thinking, "But it's not..." because precisely, the story's the thing, and inclusion and acceptance are goals, and an editor should *only* care if it's a good story. A reader may want one taste or another that particular reading meal, and a writer may be in the mood for a particular story while writing, but an editor...an editor ought to have criteria that choose what is a good story and that's that. (Yes, it has to fit editing and publication guidelines for a given house or market, but that's actually secondary.) I am still aggravated with myself, and I read your flashfic last night. That means you got me to think. That's a good job for a writer and it's what an editor wants to see too. ;) Excellent, and thanks again. Link to comment
Jason Rimbaud Posted October 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 Thanks everyone, this little ditty was fun to write. Flash is always hard to write because it makes you tailor your tale to a very specific theme. But I like the challenge. As to Blue and his comments, I actually thought about the whole..."but it's not a gay story" before I posted it but it didn't have the same feel when it was two guys. That being said, and some things said on another site, I think I shall do a part two to this little tale but it will be mostly dialogue. Let's see if I can make it a gay story and still retain the same feel I think if it works I'll give all credit to Blue and his inspired post. Jason Link to comment
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