goo-goo-muck

[blue]

aj and RPnSoCal had mentioned

goo-goo-muck

http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/...l/goo-goo-muck/

in the Everything's Eventual thread.

Bonus points for an original and eye-catching title, but I have no idea what it's referring to or what it has to do with the story. Maybe I'm outta the loop.

I read the 4 chapters so far. Hmm. Wasn't craxy about the 1st ch. "Whoa, major 'tude, dude." Really, I prefer my veggies in salads and stir-fry and like that. Ch. 1 was nearly a Bail Point. Gave me the impression the two chars. weren't your first class guys.

OK, it does get better with the other chapters. There are some funny moments and a great car chase scene. Seems like there could be some promise here.

Blue slips on his proofer's visor and markup pen. (No, Blue doesn't actually wear a visor for that. Doofus.)

OK, these guys seem to have good spelling and grammar, but guys, the rule is that you have a new paragraph every time the speaker changes. Instead, we get dialogue exchanges all in one paragraph, and it's hard to follow speaker changes. Fix that, and a big problem is solved.

Once in ch. 3 and a few times in ch. 4, The p.o.v. changes again, but the headline for Lucas: or Jamie: doesn't get formatted, it stays within the text.

If the co-authors or their editor will fix that, it'll be easier to follow the story. It's easy to fix and it's a small thing, but it sure aids readability.

For inclusion on the site? I dunno.

Theme music for the story, probably Pink Floyd's "We don't need no education," and some steamy jazz saxophone.

Oh, and teachers may have the urge to send the guys to detention for the 'tudes. Trouble is, I can remember a couple of teachers with attitudes like those in the story.

There was a nice zinger from the English teacher in the story. "You can't use those words in class unless you can tell me the derivation."

Heheh, my dictionary gets credit for giving the derivation, but then gets prim and notes that "details are uncertain due to lack of early examples of attestation." I could swear I read somewhere that it was a perfectly proper Old English word, suitable for polite company.

Apparently, it really is cognate with those Fokker airplanes, "that which strikes, penetrates, copulates."

[Tanuki Racoon]

aj and RPnSoCal had mentioned goo-goo-muck

OK, these guys seem to have good spelling and grammar, but guys, the rule is that you have a new paragraph every time the speaker changes. Instead, we get dialogue exchanges all in one paragraph, and it's hard to follow speaker changes. Fix that, and a big problem is solved.

It's so hard to follow I gave up. If the author can't make his story readable, it doesn't belong here or anywhere. That may be harsh but I've got a low tolerance for that sort of thing. Grammar, spelling, syntax, and formatting. Then *IF* that's all good, then you've got plot, characterizations and such. But I never got there because it was a bunch of words crammed together and thus not worth the effort to wade through.

Not that you asked.

-- wbms

[dude]

Well...

I thought this story might be a candidate for New Writers Series... and the with application of constructive suggestions and encouragement might develop into a good story....

However with the pre-emptive strikes just made... I would be afraid to bring it up with the authors. :oops:

[RPnSoCal]

Hmm - as far as the title is concerned, I had, have and probably will not have a clue as to what it means. But that made it all the much better of an attractor for me. (Is it possible to have a weird title fetish?)

Are the formatting errors possibly the result of the Nifty postiing process? Seems like people have complained about it, but the problem does not occur logically. I thought that might be the reason more stories are appearing in HTML. I don't know the process or people there, so no offense iintended!

Theme music - jazz yes - Pink Floyd no - more Dead Can Dance or Lords of Acid I think.

@ WBMS - I see your point actuallly, but if I latch onto a character for Heaven knows what reason, I can sometimes get through the jumbles, and the technical problems are getting less. Spelling is usually my biggest peeve. Sometimes I actually like trying to figure out who the speaker changed into second to second. Somtimes. lol

One thing that impresses me somewhat is that it is two authors, and the story flows well from that aspect.

<now taking shelter for imcoming salvos>

Dude - it may be a story that needs to age a bit more, before being tossed into the fray.

[blue]

[*]The formatting is simple to fix, just a problem with the HTML. That would clear up most of the problem right there and make it much easier to follow. (See below.)

[*]The other things I commented on, the cucumber in ch. 1, and the attitudes of the two main characters and a couple of the teachers, are not necessarily minuses. I personally thought the cuke was a bit much, but that's just me. The 'tudes are true to life and do fit with the characters. At least it's distinctive and original. As the story goes along, it's clear there's more there.

[*]I thought it was worth mentioning; thus, the thread. Fix the formatting and it's a candidate, I'd say. That, or give time to age a bit to see how it goes.

-----

The formatting: I looked in the HTML. The proper returns are there, but it needs the right HTML tags in the right way to show up the way it's intended. -- BTW, I'm posting this below not to criticize but so they and anyone else can benefit.

[*]Paragraphs should start with <p> and end with </p> tags. Currently, the closing </p> tags are missing. (This is probably their software's fault, not the author's or editor's.)

[*]For the headlines signaling POV changes (Lucas: or Jamie: ) those should be tagged as a headline, such as <h3>Lucas:</h3>. Right now, they have bold tags outside of a paragraph (tech. no-no), or no tags at all (uh-oh).

[*]For the speaker changes with dialogue, those need to be in separate paragraphs surrounded by <p>...</p>. Currently, there is a return in the text, but that's not enough for the HTML. The browser basically ignores that, treats it as a space, and looks for the tags.

I think what's happened is that the co-authors and the editor aren't all up to speed with HTML after it's output by their word processor or web page editor, or they don't all have the same skill level. -- Not a problem at all. -- The Visual QuickStart Guides on HTML or XHTML are good, quick, and useful for any skill level, high school and up.

It's plain they know the grammar rules, they're just getting used to the formatting.

Hmm. There's at least one other story by those authors, I can't recall the title at the moment. Seems like the character was a surly Brit schoolboy named Rhys (nothing to do with the author being Rhys, natch).

[RPnSoCal]

Yeah, I don't even like cucumbers in salad much less for other uhm household chores. Besides, how can yiou tell if the cucumber likes you? My deficient gaydar isn't reliable on sentient creatures!

I will defer to your comments re HTML as I have not spent anytime writing/programming in it.

:D

[Ben Dover]

Ah cucumbers!

RP puleez DON'T disparage cucumbers. Some of my best friends are cucumbers!

When I was going through a lonely period of my life, that was some time ago of course, I owed my sanity to cucumbers of various shapes and sizes.

I remember I really got to depend on one of them and he was always so cool, that was because lived in the refrigerator behind the milk cartons when he wasn't spending time with me. I even named him, "The Jolly Green Giant!"

You can imagine my horror when I came home and found my mother had 'dropped in' to fix me dinner and said "sit down, I've made us a salad."

As ever,

Ben Dover

[blue]

:snerk: Ben Dover, thanks for that belly laugh. You have a looney sense of humor. Keep it up!

[aj]

I liked this story, and i wish i had mentioned it on here as worthy of consideration. I think dude is right--with some work, this could become a very fine story.

cheers!

aj

[RPnSoCal]

@ Ben Dover - My humblest and most sincere apologies for any insult that I mave have caused to any cucumber reading this thread. I should have made sure that I was merely stating my opinion with respect to cucumbers, and certainly not meaning to imply anything about their self-worth or their worth to others. I firmly believe that everyone has the right and freedom to date whomever they please. Just so long as it is between consenting beings.

:D

[aj]

reminds me of the line from Andrew Marvell: "My vegetable love should grow, vaster than empires and more slow."

[blue]

My sincere apologies to all the lonely, misunderstood cucumbers out there.

I'm sure if I were a cucumber, I wouldn't relish a bashing either. :roll:

[RPnSoCal]

My sincere apologies to all the lonely, misunderstood cucumbers out there.

I'm sure if I were a cucumber, I wouldn't relish a bashing either. :roll:

It might land one in quite a pickle !

[aj]

It might land one in quite a pickle!

But, as a reader of the outre` and unusual, I'm sure you could dill with it. After all, even if it's not quite kosher, the outlandish is the bread and butter of so many of life's more interesting experiences.

cheers!

aj

[aj]

I'm going to have to get Blue to teach me some things about those buttons...that post didn't come out nearly like i had planned. Far from being clever, now i look like a gherk...er, jerk. umm...sorry.

aj

[blue]

It's OK, aj, soon you'll be nice and crisp! ;)

Just omit the spaces inside the square brackets below, and you'll be, uh, 8) cool as a cucumber. (Uh-oh, here we go again!)

{ The authors of goo-goo-muck probably want to julienne us by now. We're sorry, guys, we're just havin' a little fun. We *like* the story, even the poor lonely cucumber and that coconut oil. }

To quote something, use the "quote" button and delete whatever you don't want to include.

To do it the "hard" way:

[ quote ] Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!" [ /quote ]

(You just missed the end tag, [ /quote ] )

To include the name of the member being quoted:

[ quote="aj" ] What does this button do? [ /quote ]

[ quote="blue" ] Hey, that tickles! [ /quote ]

Some forums include other stuff in the quote, like which post or reply or what date and time the original quote was written.

You can do it the "hard" way or the "soft" way. That look-and-feel is good hard or soft, but not too hard.

[RPnSoCal]

A good lesson, Blue !

It should help many of us from crying over posts, like A.J., and winding up in a huge forum of brine !

@AJ - those puns were as sharp and poignant as the vinegar used in making them. Which is the best I can do to come up with another pickle pun, weak as it is.

[Guest]

It's OK' date=' aj, soon you'll be nice and crisp! ;)

Just omit the spaces inside the square brackets below, and you'll be, uh, 8) cool as a cucumber. (Uh-oh, here we go again!)

{ The authors of goo-goo-muck probably want to julienne us by now. We're sorry, guys, we're just havin' a little fun. We *like* the story, even the poor lonely cucumber and that coconut oil. }

To quote something, use the "quote" button and delete whatever you don't want to include.

To do it the "hard" way:

[ quote ] Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!" [ /quote ]

(You just missed the end tag, [ /quote ] )

To include the name of the member being quoted:

[ quote="aj" ] What does this button do? [ /quote ]

[ quote="blue" ] Hey, that tickles! [ /quote ]

Some forums include other stuff in the quote, like which post or reply or what date and time the original quote was written.

You can do it the "hard" way or the "soft" way. That look-and-feel is good hard or soft, but not too hard.

[Guest]

It's OK' date=' aj, soon you'll be nice and crisp! ;)

Just omit the spaces inside the square brackets below, and you'll be, uh, 8) cool as a cucumber. (Uh-oh, here we go again!)

{ The authors of goo-goo-muck probably want to julienne us by now. We're sorry, guys, we're just havin' a little fun. We *like* the story, even the poor lonely cucumber and that coconut oil. }

To quote something, use the "quote" button and delete whatever you don't want to include.

To do it the "hard" way:

[ quote ] Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!" [ /quote ]

(You just missed the end tag, [ /quote ] )

To include the name of the member being quoted:

[ quote="aj" ] What does this button do? [ /quote ]

[ quote="blue" ] Hey, that tickles! [ /quote ]

Some forums include other stuff in the quote, like which post or reply or what date and time the original quote was written.

You can do it the "hard" way or the "soft" way. That look-and-feel is good hard or soft, but not too hard.

[Guest]

It's OK' date=' aj, soon you'll be nice and crisp! ;)

Just omit the spaces inside the square brackets below, and you'll be, uh, 8) cool as a cucumber. (Uh-oh, here we go again!)

{ The authors of goo-goo-muck probably want to julienne us by now. We're sorry, guys, we're just havin' a little fun. We *like* the story, even the poor lonely cucumber and that coconut oil. }

To quote something, use the "quote" button and delete whatever you don't want to include.

To do it the "hard" way:

[ quote ] Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!" [ /quote ]

(You just missed the end tag, [ /quote ] )

To include the name of the member being quoted:

[ quote="aj" ] What does this button do? [ /quote ]

[ quote="blue" ] Hey, that tickles! [ /quote ]

Some forums include other stuff in the quote, like which post or reply or what date and time the original quote was written.

You can do it the "hard" way or the "soft" way. That look-and-feel is good hard or soft, but not too hard.

[Guest]

It's OK' date=' aj, soon you'll be nice and crisp! ;)

Just omit the spaces inside the square brackets below, and you'll be, uh, 8) cool as a cucumber. (Uh-oh, here we go again!)

{ The authors of goo-goo-muck probably want to julienne us by now. We're sorry, guys, we're just havin' a little fun. We *like* the story, even the poor lonely cucumber and that coconut oil. }

To quote something, use the "quote" button and delete whatever you don't want to include.

To do it the "hard" way:

[ quote ] Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!" [ /quote ]

(You just missed the end tag, [ /quote ] )

To include the name of the member being quoted:

[ quote="aj" ] What does this button do? [ /quote ]

[ quote="blue" ] Hey, that tickles! [ /quote ]

Some forums include other stuff in the quote, like which post or reply or what date and time the original quote was written.

You can do it the "hard" way or the "soft" way. That look-and-feel is good hard or soft, but not too hard.

[Guest]

t's OK' date=' aj, soon you'll be nice and crisp! ;)

Just omit the spaces inside the square brackets below, and you'll be, uh, 8) cool as a cucumber. (Uh-oh, here we go again!)

{ The authors of goo-goo-muck probably want to julienne us by now. We're sorry, guys, we're just havin' a little fun. We *like* the story, even the poor lonely cucumber and that coconut oil. }

To quote something, use the "quote" button and delete whatever you don't want to include.

To do it the "hard" way:

[ quote ] Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!" [ /quote ]

(You just missed the end tag, [ /quote ] )

To include the name of the member being quoted:

[ quote="aj" ] What does this button do? [ /quote ]

[ quote="blue" ] Hey, that tickles! [ /quote ]

Some forums include other stuff in the quote, like which post or reply or what date and time the original quote was written.

You can do it the "hard" way or the "soft" way. That look-and-feel is good hard or soft, but not too hard.

[blue]

Guest appears to be having Anonymous fun with nesting. Hello, oh anonymous guest, you're getting deep into those nested pairs.

And yes, you're nesting properly. The tags mustn't cross or go out of order. They nest like parentheses and brackets, like you've done.

Now why do I suddenly feel so boxed in? :)

[aj]

Hello, oh anonymous guest, you're getting deep into those nested pairs.

So much nesting going on, i started considering adoption.

So how do you pull a section from another post to put it in your note? I know this should be obvious, but i'm kind of a computer idiot.

cheers!

aj

[blue]

So much nesting going on, i started considering adoption.

Or you could just go with the Big Bird costume.

So how do you pull a section from another post to put it in your note?

If you want to include part of a single post, just go to that post and press the Quote button, then just delete the portions you don't need.

If you want parts of more than one post, it looks like, for this forum software, you'll have to use plain old copy-and-paste, then surround it with the [ quote="aj" ] ... [ /quote ] tags, as mentioned already.

Don't apologize for asking a perfectly good question. :)