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Water charges cause consternation

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YESTERDAY saw the Department of the Environment unveil provisional figures of annual water costs, with the price of an average shower estimated at 25c.

Parents of teenagers are today expressing concern over the fact that these figures do not factor in the extra time caused by masturbation during showering, which is set to push household bills up considerably.

Read on

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Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.

Maybe it's time to rethink our recycling protocols.

I could hold speed wanking master-classes in shower diversions for the eternally horny.

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Could I get a definition, please? Several, in fact. I don't now what any of those latest protocols are. Pigeon angering? I mean, come on now!

But this is one of the most biased articles I've ever read. Why pick on boys? Are you telling me our darling daughters don't water the bushes, too? Of course they do, and I'll bet dollars to donuts they take more time doing it thoroughly than our Sudden Sam sons.

Can you see some stuffy town council debating this? 82-year-old ladies fainting in the aisles? 90-year-old vicars fanning themselves. Both groups thinking back to when they were young....


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