Guest Dabeagle Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 For those of you that read my stuff, please be aware that there are spoilers here for some current and still posting items. As with everything else, this is my opinion no matter how pompous it may sound and feel free to discuss. As a writer I try to imagine good stories, and to do more showing than telling. I say this because those details like the corner of the sheet that just won't stay tucked and, when it slips, leaves you touching the mattress is something small and yet a common thing we share which makes the scene more realistic. However, when it comes to sex, there were a few obstacles. The first is not wanting to write something that has been said millions of times before. I'm sure most of us know where everything can be inserted and, still, some of our younger members could teach us the ones we may not know. I have never been a fan of 'Insert Tab 'A' into Slot 'B' description, at least when I'm writing it. I prefer, mostly, to leave some things to the readers imagination. That is also complicated by my second reason: The second is the stigma of being a gay man and writing stories about young men falling in love. No matter what my vehicle for getting them there, that is always my goal is some kind of a love story. However, there is a pervasive thought in this country - and indeed in the more ignorant parts of the world - that being gay equals being a pedophile or that you desire boys, no matter the age, etc. This gets promoted even more if we dare to write what we do, and I dare say some folks are embarrassed of their work - or would be - should the straights find it. A recent article I shared here had to do with a mother who was dealing with a double standard - that of people assuming her son was taking Zumba to mack on the fourth grade girls - but when told he was gay, they assume he must not know himself because he's young. When we stop to consider that, and compare it to this genre, who better to knwo what it feels like to grow up as a gay boy and be unsure of who to tell? Who better to tell what it was like to not really have to come out? We are, just as all these folks who write teen Rom/Coms where a boy gets his first piece probably know better how that might work. I won't discuss the ones who, apparently, stuck their junk in an apple pie. When viewed through this lens, I think sexual scenes and situations take on new meaning. After all, we all know teens have sex - look at the underage pregnancy numbers (especially in the abstinence only areas of 'education') and thee is no reason to think the gay members are holding back out of deference to these folks who are procreating. Of course, the 'sex scene' only works in context of a story - it isn't the story - at least, not for me. I have gotten emails - on for instance loved the Wayward Son story, but really wanted to know when the leads (who, presumably, they'd come to care for/like) were going to get it on - graphically. Unless I need to describe that, never. Now if the story were centered around some kind of intimate sexual relation - then I'd need to think carefully about how to do that. In other words, I'm okay getting descriptive if it meets the story's needs, which I haven't really needed to. This brings me to my spoiler points. In chapter ten of Life in a Northern Town I tried to write a very sensual scene. I wanted you to see the other character as the main character did - and for nine chapters I'd already shown his character, but now we were going to have a look at the other bits. I have often said - and used some form of the line - that I think most of us see the pretty package, the paper and the bow that attracts us and wont' know if we like it until we unwrap it. A sparkling personality wont' get you noticed from a cross the room, but being well groomed and dressed may. So I'd already set up the good personality, the grooming, the wrapping paper and the bow - now we needed to look inside the box. When it comes to people, I can find a number of things attractive - beautiful - without it getting my pecker up, so to speak. Sometimes a face or a feature is as pretty as fine art. There was a fellow at our local Dunkin Donuts with epic dimples. One at our Game Stop who is adorable, including his personality. Sometimes it's eyes, sometimes it's a smile or the way their voice sounds. And, yes, there's always the odd pert butt or unexpected package. My point is, noting beauty doesn't mean you want to sleep with it - the common misconception of gay men writing gay boys. Another example is the recent 'The Ultimate Gift'. The sexual scenes were pivotal and, I felt , absolutely necessary. The first is far more detailed than the second as was, again, necessary in order to show the difference - the change in the characters - by the time we see it happen again. This was far more about the emotion of the sex than it was the act. So my philosophy is, now, not to shy away from sex if it fits the story - but that I can adjust the level of detail to fit the story, too. Quote Link to comment
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