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After School Surprise

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I hadn’t been home from school for ten minutes when it happened.

I had just said bye to Jeremy, let my bike fall with a clatter onto the concrete beside the house, used my key to unlock the back door and then let my backpack whump onto the kitchen floor while simultaneously opening the fridge with my other hand.

All business as usual after a hard day at Junior High School.

I grabbed a can of iced tea, put a package of frozen ground beef into cold water to thaw, like the note on the fridge from my mom said, and then kicked my backpack nearer the kitchen table for homework a bit later. I walked into the family room, thumbing on the monitor and computer while guzzling iced-tea.

I was swallowing my third gulp when the front door caved in.

It was the loudest crash I’d ever heard. I literally jumped. And spit iced tea all over Mom’s cream coloured carpet.

Confusion, mixed with fear as I turned to face the door of the family room, just half a flight of steps down from the splintered front door on our split level.

Several large men ran in through the smashed  door frame and over the broken door on the floor.

I froze. What else could I do? I had no idea what the fuck was going on.

I did however notice several things as the men fanned out into the house.

They were all carrying very large guns. They were all wearing uniforms, helmets, and what I think were bullet-proof vests. With the letters SWAT clearly emblazoned all over them on the front and back.

One of the men came downstairs, his gun pointing the way.

He saw me. He stopped, his weapon pointed much too close in my direction for comfort. His eyes widened. He yelled to the others, “Here he is!” The first words spoken by any of them since the smashed into my house.

All the men immediately stopped what they were doing and with military precision ran into the room and surrounded me.

They all raised their weapons, with me in the centre of the half dozen armed and armoured men around me.

Then, they all turned their backs to me.

Weapons raised, all of them peering intently around them, listening hard, I heard a small sound from outside.

“They’re coming,” one of the men whispered.

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Does the video mean you expect someone else to:

1. Finish the story?
2. Write the next chapter and you'll finish it from there?
3. You wrote chapter 1 and you want others to write each other chapter sequentially?
4. All of the above?
5. Guess what's going to happen to the story?
6. None of the above?

Colin  :icon_geek:


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2 hours ago, colinian said:


Does the video mean you expect someone else to:

1. Finish the story?
2. Write the next chapter and you'll finish it from there?
3. You wrote chapter 1 and you want others to write each other chapter sequentially?
4. All of the above?
5. Guess what's going to happen to the story?
6. None of the above?

Colin  :icon_geek:



This was one of those weird little things that popped into my head, virtually complete, for no discernible reason whatsoever. I liked the contrast to expectations and the vast possibilities. I thought about what to do with it and where I might be going with it, but I also decided to post it here as well while it was still so fresh in my head.


Since then I've put some time into wondering where I want to go with it, but you bring up some excellent thoughts there, and you're onto something I think. It sounds like fun.


If someone else thinks they want to follow this up with another chapter, etc, and post it in a collaborative effort, that could be awfully interesting. Go for it!



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The sound of gunfire erupted outside and a strange sound that sounded a lot like a bug zapper. Even in the afternoon sun, there were blue-white  flashes.

One of the agents said, "If there is a back way out of here kid, now would be a good time."

Jeremy remembered to breath and said, "Follow me."

One of the agents got in front and the rest of the agents took up a shield formation to cover them on the way out the back door. Just as Jeremy left the room, a bolt of blue-white lightning sizzled through one of the windows and destroyed a lamp.

He led them through the living room and out into the back yard through a sliding glass patio door.

Unfortunately the bad guys were covering the back and Jeremy got his first look at them.

They were big, at least six feet plus, massive and were wearing some kind of black armor. They were carrying a weapon like nothing he had ever seen before. 

The agent in the lead open up on one with what looked like a pistol but wasn't. It made a loud TOCK sound and the big, black figure was thrown backwards and shattered the fence into the next door neighbor's yard. 

Another one rounded the house and another agent fired a weapon that buzzed like a short circuit. 

The second black figure went down convulsing.

The lead agent said, "Is there anywhere nearby where a helicopter can land?"

"The baseball field: through the back yard, over the fence..."

He was interrupted as another weapon went TOCK and one of the agents disappeared into a cloud of pink mist.

There was nothing to do but run so the group sprinted to the fence. One of the weapons went TOCK and boards splintered. 

They ran through the hole in the fence, out the front gate of the yard behind Jeremy's house and down the road two blocks to the baseball field..

Just as they arrived a big Blackhawk landed in the outfield. Two Apache gunships circling protectively above.

Strong hands lifted Jeremy into the Blackhawk and the agents boarded behind him as a crewman on a minigun covered their retreat.

They were in the air before the last agent was fully aboard. 

Jeremy tried to ask questions but the roar of the engine filled the helicopter. One of the agents put on a headset and handed one to Jeremy.

As soon as the headset was on, he asked, "What's going on? Who are you people?"

The agent answered, "We're your protection detail. The Taurons found out where you were. We were just seconds ahead of them."

"Who the hell are the Taurons and why do they want me?"

The agent said, "The Taurons are a race of really nasty aliens making a play on this part of the galaxy. They have been at war with the Galactic Combine for centuries."

"Why are they after me?"

"Your majesty, you are the Crown Prince of an Allied power. We've been hiding you since birth at the request of the Galactic Combine. When we get to base, we will release the memory blocks. It's obvious that this place is no longer safe for you."

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I'm reminded of a story from one of my college English profs many a few years ago:


The creative writing teacher addressed his class on the last day: "In today's final exam, you will kindly make use of all five elements of fiction writing, to wit: Religion, Passion, Royalty, Sex and Mystery. You have three hours. Good luck. You may begin."

No more than two minutes later one student strolled up, put his paper on the professor's desk, and left the classroom. Perplexed, the professor turned the paper over and read:

"My God," she cried. "The Queen is pregnant! Who did it?"


You're nailing it, James!

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BOOM! The explosion was deafening, followed by the metallic grinding of mangled rotary blades. The jolt pushed Jeremy forward in his seat, the belt across his chest was the only thing keeping him in place, and he never even remembered being buckled in. 

They were plummeting forwards and down. 

“We're hit... going down!” He heard the muffled words in his ears.

To the right and above the sky was lit with a ball of fire. 

Jeremy saw the Apache helicopter hurtle past in flames, just as he heard a second explosion the other side of their mangled Blackhawk. But he had no time to take all this in, there was just, very weirdly the taste of iced tea in his mouth, and everything slowed right down. The whirring sound blurred into a continuous loud hum.

Then they were crashing through some trees and the sound seemed to pick up, just like a slow motion sequence ending and reverting back to normal.

How the hell he managed to pull the nose up – it was impossible. But they were skimming through the trees, almost level. The crashing sound of branches scrapping the sides of the wrecked machine, metal on wood.

There was an eerie silence as with a huge bang the helicopter was brought to a halt. 
Dust and smoke filled the air.

An arm reached across and unclipped the belt across his chest.
“Come on kid! We need to get out of here.”

They scrambled out through the half open door that was twisted and bent out of shape.
There were others, but Jeremy couldn't take in the whole scene. He did see at least two bodies, and blood!

We're they dead?

He didn't know... He didn't want to know. He couldn't believe this was real.

What was it he had said? 

‘The Crown Prince... release the memory blocks!’

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Maybe next week for me. I'm working on two short stories right now, and need to get them finished.

Colin  :icon_geek:


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Suddenly a group of men appeared and fanned out around the Prince and what was left of his security detail. One of them approached with a silver box with all sorts of instrumentation on it. 

He said, "This will release your memory blocks and you'll understand."

He pointed it at Jeremy's head and suddenly he did understand.

Jeremy said, "How do we get in the bunker?"

His lead agent said, "Follow me."

They moved through a lush pine forest a few hundred meters and came to a very solid looking steel door in the ground. His lead agent said, "We'll need you thumb print and voice to open it."

Jeremy open an access panel, put his thumb on the fingerprint reader and said, "Beta 9".

There was a loud snap and the bunker hatch opened. The party went down a steel staircase to another door that automatically opened as they approached.

They entered a large room that housed a squad of eight Royal Guardsmen. The oldest, most battle scarred and toughest looking of the bunch smiled and said, "Prince Jeremiah. Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

Jeremy said, "Good to see you too Duncan. Right now we've got a serious violation of the Talwyn Accords."

The hulking Guardsman said, "Yes, I've been following the situation from the command center. About thirty-five minutes ago a Tauron Task Force jumped into the system. It's too much for our stealth cruiser to handle by herself. She has sent a Broken Lance Code to fleet. And... the cats well and truly out of the bag. Several Earth militaries are heavily engaged with Tauron landing forces."

Jeremy cursed and said, "Who is fighting them?"

Duncan grinned, "Well.. all of them I think. The Russians had a lander at Kiev, the Brits shot one down over Sheffield and here in the states we had a lander just outside Omaha. There's two more in Asia somewhere but the satellite coverage is over the horizon. The American F-22s shot the Omaha lander up so bad she'll never fly again but there are bugs on the ground. "

The man Jeremy had been think of as his lead agent said, "The landing at Omaha is near one of our biggest command centers- Offutt Air Force Base. It's where Vice President's hang out in emergencies. They couldn't have picked a bigger hornet's nest to kick over."

Duncan said, "The humans are brave but they're taking a beating your highness. What do you want to do?"

Jeremy looked at his Royal Guardsmen and said, "We would be a poor guests if we slipped out on this party. Gear up your team Master Chief. The human's are going to need our help."

His team immediatly began putting on their combat armor. Jeremy went to a suit locker, stripped to his boxers and climbed in. The command suit immediatly began to boot up as the suits interior snugged fit around him. He asked Chief  Duncan, "How should I load out Master Chief?"

A gravely voice replied over suit speakers, "Standard kit should do nicely sir. Maybe add a Gauss rifle to crack their command dragons."

Jeremy replied, "Done."

As soon as the suit was ready, Jeremy pushed a panel in the suit lockers wall. The room turned 180 degrees and opened into the bases small hanger. A Raptor class drop ship was sitting on the Pad and it was already prepping for launch. 

He walked the combat suit up the loading ramp and took his position as the rest of the team boarded. He set up a call to Offutt Air Force Base and opened a channel, "Offutt Control this is Centurion One. Help is on the way. We'll be the aliens that aren't shooting at you." 



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As soon as the Raptor was airborne, Master Chief Duncan launched a stealth drone that sped ahead of their flight path and began to circle two and a half kilometers high just east of Omaha. Within a few minutes they began to get data.

There was a two kilometer long gash in a lush farmlands where the lander had come to earth less than gracefully. There were huge gashes in the insect-like body of the lander. 

The Tauron lander was all too familiar to Combine forces. It was typical of the Tauron organic technology looking like a terrestrial beetle. If it was loaded out as a typical Tauron lander, it had a company strength of the different insect like creatures the Taurons used as shock troops. From the image captures it was clear that they had been busy.

Smoke plumed from over a half dozen downed aircraft and as they watched an A-10 Warthog made a strafing run over the site.

Attack helicopters were using the terrain to protect themselves from ground fire and were popping up over the trees to take shots with their 30mm cannons and hellfire missiles.

Jeremy asked, "How should we handle this Chief?"

Duncan said, "How well can we coordinate with the US Military?"

Jeremy said, "I've got all the right codewords- they'll play ball."

"Good. If we can get this national guard mechanized unit to cover the north, I say we land to the south, push north and we'll have them in a cross fire."

Kellum, Duncan's second, said, "We aren't facing an intact company. It's obvious that they are shot up pretty bad. I don't see any command dragons or griffins. Just gremlins and archers."

"I concur", Duncan said. "We don't know what is still in the hull getting sorted. I say that we hit the lander with a couple of krakens to open the ball."

There was a loud warning alarm- one minute to the hot zone.

Their pilot's voice came over the circuit, "Krakens away. I've got your drop programmed and I'll be standing by for fire support."

Jeremy changed channels and said, "Offutt Control this is Centurion. We'll be on target in one mike."

A voice replied, "Centurion, this is Offutt, authenticate Victor-Sierra."

Jeremy replied, "Tango-Whiskey."

"Welcome to the net Centurion. It's getting real."

Jeremy was watching the drone feed out of his corner of his eye and saw the two kraken high velocity missiles gut the Tauron lander. For a moment it twitched and writhed like a dying animal and exploded."

Master Chief's voice boomed over the command circuit, "3-2-1... Death from above!"



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