Chat Room

[Jason Rimbaud]

Chat Room

By: Jason R.

Push that button

Squeeze that key

Fingers sweating

In this altered reality

Erotic action

Flashing screens

But who is the author

And what does this mean

Fake friends and fake foes

Through thrills and through woes

It goes on

On

On

On

I am King

King of the chat room

Here I'm the man

Chairman of the board

I am King

King of this chat room

And here I will reign

Yet I am trapped

Victim of this chat room

Deep inside

I don't know what love's about

I'm a prisoner

A victim of this chat room

Reality where are you

Someone show me how to get out

I think I have something here yet I know something is missing.

If anyone has thoughts, I'd love to hear them.

Thanks

Jason R.

[Trab]

I'm no poet, and certainly no expert on people, but I'd say you are missing something about the chat room. You say you are the victim of the chatroom, but that's not really the case. You are a victim of your own shrunken perception of reality, having reduced the universe to the chatroom.

[Camy]

I'm no poet, and certainly no expert on people, but I'd say you are missing something about the chat room. You say you are the victim of the chatroom, but that's not really the case. You are a victim of your own shrunken perception of reality, having reduced the universe to the chatroom.

I think that was the point.

A lot of people now live their lives on-line and treat reality as an annoying intrusion.

[Cole Parker]

A lot of people now live their lives on-line and treat reality as an annoying intrusion.

Oh, is there something wrong with that?

Cole

[Camy]

Oh, is there something wrong with that?

Cole

Nope, come the day I'll happily jack in.

[Guest Rustic Monk]

hey j.r.,

i can understand why you think something's missing. the voice seems tired. but i like it as it is. thanks for reminding us how empty the internet really is.

-g.

[Tragic Rabbit]

I like the idea and some of the sections, Jason, but think it would be better (since you asked!) if you took out the self awareness...left it just, King of the ChatRoom, etc, and no sense of irony or the absurd. That's my take, anyway.

I'm not so sure the Net is any emptier than Real Life...they can both deliver their own versions of faux intimacy and control. Still, I do wish people on the net were better spellers...

Kissy-poo

TR

[Guest Rustic Monk]

i think the irony and absurdity is what inspired this.

[Tragic Rabbit]

Right but I just think that the speaker shouldn't be aware of it. He asked, that was my response. Let the readers make their own judgements.

TR

[Jason Rimbaud]

TR said in another post that he hasn't been happy with the results of his poetry or plays lately. I agree, I guess in a way, we all can

agree with that statement.

I tried taking out the first person like TR suggested, and I didn't like that version either. I think I shall let this stew around in my mind

a bit longer and then take a fresh leap as it were.

As for TR's statement about people on the internet and the bad spelling. I can't figure out if you are picking on me about a mis-spelled

word in the piece or making a general statement. Because I looked for a spelling error and can't find it.

*crossing my fingers and hoping you're making a general statement* Because if you're not, I really need to go back to school and learn

spelling once again.

Nice to see both TR and Gabe back on the poetry forum.

Jason R.

[Tragic Rabbit]

TR said in another post that he hasn't been happy with the results of his poetry or plays lately. I agree, I guess in a way, we all can

agree with that statement.

Glad we can all agree that TR's writing has been subpar lately.

I tried taking out the first person like TR suggested, and I didn't like that version either. I think I shall let this stew around in my mind

a bit longer and then take a fresh leap as it were.

That wasn't what I meant at all, at all. I meant take out the self awareness of the speaker, let the reader evaluate his acts instead of having them spelled out so directly.

As for TR's statement about people on the internet and the bad spelling. I can't figure out if you are picking on me about a mis-spelled

word in the piece or making a general statement. Because I looked for a spelling error and can't find it.

Totally a random remark and an area I'm not without guilt in myself, so also a hypocritical remark.

Nice to see both TR and Gabe back on the poetry forum.

Thanks...I think.

Kisses...

TR

[Jason Rimbaud]

Hey TR

When I read your reply, I realized what I had said. I meant, I haven't been happy

with my poetry either lately and that I could understand your.......frustration if you

will.

This is just another example why I should never write somethig and post right away.

No matter how many times I proof read, I always mess it up. SORRY TR.

ANd I mean I'm really happy to have you back in the forums.

Jason R.

[Guest Rustic Monk]

:: hugs jason rimbaud ::

don't trip. keep writing.

[Camy]

I'm really happy to have you back in the forums.

Jason R.

I've never had TR in the forums

I've never had TR anywhere

I'm soooo terribly jealous, Jason

It warrants a warrigal's glare

[DesDownunder]

I've never had TR in the forums

I've never had TR anywhere

I'm soooo terribly jealous, Jason

It warrants a warrigal's glare

I missed out too

I didn't even get to stare

Who do I sue?

At least Camy got to show his poetic flare.

Nice one Camy