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A generous uncle had his own reasons


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A generous uncle had his own reasons

January 23, 2008

Dear Amy: Last year my mother's brother passed away at 52 from a stroke. When his will was read, he left his small farm of 68 acres, his home and insurance money to me.

The value of the estate was about $220,000. I am 24 years old, and it was a complete shock to receive this. My uncle was married at one time, but his ex-wife and stepchildren each got only $100. Other family members received token amounts of money. To his brother and two sisters, he left $500 each to, as he stated in his will, "have a good time."

Since my uncle's death, I have discovered that he was gay and in the closet. I am gay, but I have been "out" from the time I graduated from high school. I now think this is the reason he left me so much.

I'm wondering if I should tell the family the real reason my uncle left me everything. His sister-in-law already thinks all of the kids in the family will be gay because I'm gay. She has said in my presence, "If there is one gay in a family, there will be more because it runs in families" (except she doesn't say "gay," she uses an offensive word). She manages to say this in my earshot every time we have a family get-together.

Should I tell or keep my mouth shut?

Tell or Not

Dear Tell: Did your uncle write a codicil to his will saying, "I bequeath Pemberley to my nephew on account of his gayness"? I gather he didn't. Perhaps he left you his property because you are a nice, honest, authentic young man, and he wanted to recognize and reward your family values.

Your uncle died at a young age, yet he was prepared for the event. If he had wanted to live openly as a gay man, he would have -- or he would have left instructions for you to manage this news after his death.

In terms of the relative who gay-bashes in your presence, it's simple: You shouldn't tolerate it. There are times to keep your mouth shut and times to speak up. Shutting down an ignorant and offensive bully might be one way to honor your uncle's memory

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Nice Uncle, nice move.

Something like 'get even with the family after I'm gone'.

I would like to say it out loud, especially to the sister-in-law.

But, with respect for the uncle, probably wouldn't.

If he has chosen to not tell, I wouldn't give it away.

But, like the answer of Amy, still fight for his silent right.

Dude, I am amazed reading this.

I am playing with an idea in my head for a story somewhat similar to this.

This gives me extra clues to finally start with it.

Ehh... thanx!


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Although I'd love to help with that translation, everyone needs to recognize that my level of Dutch basically froze as the Grade 2 level when we moved to Canada. I've add some more to my repertoire, but I venture to say that Oliver is probably better at English than I am at Dutch.

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Which is, to say, that his Dutch is much better than his English :D

::runs like hell because Trab is going to try and kick this :confused: ::

I'll get you where it hurts most, WBMS. ...going to try TO kick this...

And you grew up speaking English? Ha. Ha ha ha.

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If WBMS is Canadian, that's the first I've heard of it.

And, just what do you mean by 'no advantages'? We'd both have equal advantage. :confused:

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Both having equal advantage means neither has an advantahge over the other. Therefore, neither has an advantage.

As Canadians supposedly have a superior educational system over and above Americans (not counting Canadians as Americans any more than San Salvadorans or Brazilians; hey, don't blame these conventions on me!) then you'd both have advantages over people to the south of you. Hence my statement dealing with advantages.


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