dude Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 A generous uncle had his own reasons January 23, 2008 Dear Amy: Last year my mother's brother passed away at 52 from a stroke. When his will was read, he left his small farm of 68 acres, his home and insurance money to me. The value of the estate was about $220,000. I am 24 years old, and it was a complete shock to receive this. My uncle was married at one time, but his ex-wife and stepchildren each got only $100. Other family members received token amounts of money. To his brother and two sisters, he left $500 each to, as he stated in his will, "have a good time." Since my uncle's death, I have discovered that he was gay and in the closet. I am gay, but I have been "out" from the time I graduated from high school. I now think this is the reason he left me so much. I'm wondering if I should tell the family the real reason my uncle left me everything. His sister-in-law already thinks all of the kids in the family will be gay because I'm gay. She has said in my presence, "If there is one gay in a family, there will be more because it runs in families" (except she doesn't say "gay," she uses an offensive word). She manages to say this in my earshot every time we have a family get-together. Should I tell or keep my mouth shut? Tell or Not Dear Tell: Did your uncle write a codicil to his will saying, "I bequeath Pemberley to my nephew on account of his gayness"? I gather he didn't. Perhaps he left you his property because you are a nice, honest, authentic young man, and he wanted to recognize and reward your family values. Your uncle died at a young age, yet he was prepared for the event. If he had wanted to live openly as a gay man, he would have -- or he would have left instructions for you to manage this news after his death. In terms of the relative who gay-bashes in your presence, it's simple: You shouldn't tolerate it. There are times to keep your mouth shut and times to speak up. Shutting down an ignorant and offensive bully might be one way to honor your uncle's memory Quote Link to comment
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