The First Day by Camy

[Richard Norway]

Well done Camy! What an open ending. I've already envisioned the continuation.

When do you think that you might start on Chapter 2?

Here's a quick link https://awesomedude.com/camy/firstday/index.php

[The Pecman]

I agree -- an excellent beginning. I know absolutely zero about the British boarding school experience (aside from reading all of Harry Potter twice), but this one pulled me in.

[Paul Schroder]

Wonderful beginning, Camy. Now I'm waiting for the next installment.

(Notice I didn't say waiting patiently.)

[Camy]

Wow! Thank you all!

'The First Day' was supposed to be a one off. That being said, I'll see if Neil can remember any more.

[Tanuki Racoon]

I'd like that :)

I sent Camy a mash note via email about this story.

[Cole Parker]

Just one man's opinion, of course, but it does seem fiendishly unfair to see foreshadowing about slippering and caning, then not witness the acts, or see a description of the reddened buttocksthat makes one wince , or be able to read of the tender and soothing gestures when his mates to see to his injuries, both physical and mental.

It just seems a lot is being left on the table.

Such a great effort, Camy. Thanks so much!

C

[Tanuki Racoon]

Just one man's opinion, of course, but it does seem fiendishly unfair to see foreshadowing about slippering and caning, then not witness the acts, or see a description of the reddened buttocks

Yeah we know what you want to see. Let your tastes show, eh?

[The Pecman]

'The First Day' was supposed to be a one off. That being said, I'll see if Neil can remember any more.

I would criticize you by saying the problem is, you set up too many interesting characters and situations without a payoff. You've got some interesting situations with some foreshadowing, and it begs for an ending. A short story should work as a standalone, and I don't think there's enough of an ending to give it a real sense of finality.

I think you can get a novel or at least a novella out of this, provided you figure out what the story is actually about. In other words, there has to be more to it than just the coming-of-age of a kid going to boarding school. I think this can be a lot more.

Do me a favor and let us know what the time frame is for the story, even if only in a subtle way. I saw no mention of pop culture, technology (iPods, cell phones, etc.), and it's hard to register for me when it's happening. For all I know it could be 1960 or 2000 or anywhere in between.

It's too good an idea to stop here. (That's a compliment, BTW.)

[Bruin Fisher]

So pleased to find this in the Dude's Picks from the Past. How can I possibly have missed it first time around?

This is a story which delighted me, reminiscent of my own boarding school years. Why do these places still exist in the twenty-first century?!

Beautifully written by Camy, you'd never guess he was just putting stuff down to reach 50,000 words in the 30 days of November....! A real talent at work.

[Cole Parker]

This was written long enough ago that I don't remember having read it, but as I commented on it at the time, I certainly had.  Wonderful piece of writing, but then, what piece has Camy written that isn't sublime?

There were a lot of suggestion that a follow-up be written.  Too bad there doesn't seem to be one.  I can understand that.  I've done very little myself in the way of sequels.  Muses don't always work that way.

Great story, Camy.

 

[Camy]

As always, you chaps are far too kind. I thankee!