Innocence Lost by Freethinker

[Cynus]

I finally got around to starting this today, and now I can't believe I waited! I'm loving the youthful energy.

Time to go read chapter two.

[Cole Parker]

As always, Freethinker's story captures the imagination and makes us all feel 13 again. Or in this case, even younger. Wonderful writing, wonderful memories of first time attractions and finding out what the world is like. This one is hard to put down, once you get started. You wish the chapters would come more quickly.

C

[Lugnutz]

And you can find it here

http://www.awesomedude.com/freethinker/IL/index.htm

Now, I'm off to read it.

[Jeff Ellis]

I agree, It has charm and I'm aboard for the ride

[Nigel Gordon]

I love Freethinker's work but this has got to be one of his best.

[FreeThinker]

Thank you very much for your kind words. This story was actually written back in 2002 and was only the second story I had posted to the web. Prior to that, the only people who had read my writing were members of creative writing classes and a writers group back in the eighties. I think its a bit immature, but I like it and I am grateful for the postive comments. I think I grew as a writer since I first wrote this. At least, I hope I have. Thank you very much.

[Nigel Gordon]

Thank you very much for your kind words. This story was actually written back in 2002 and was only the second story I had posted to the web. Prior to that, the only people who had read my writing were members of creative writing classes and a writers group back in the eighties. I think its a bit immature, but I like it and I am grateful for the postive comments. I think I grew as a writer since I first wrote this. At least, I hope I have. Thank you very much.

FreeThinker, it is the very immaturity of it that is making it work, the story feels like the story of a pair of boys that age rather than an adults view of it. Some of us would give the world to be able to put that sort of feeling into our writing.

[Cynus]

FreeThinker, it is the very immaturity of it that is making it work, the story feels like the story of a pair of boys that age rather than an adults view of it. Some of us would give the world to be able to put that sort of feeling into our writing.

I concur. That's exactly what has made me fall in love with it.

[Cole Parker]

He writes characters that are full of possibilities. Few things capture our imaginations more than that.

C

[FreeThinker]

I am so horribly embarrassed! I sent the wrong copies of my story files in to be posted, the unedited versions. I kept two folders on my desktop during the editing process, one for the unedited and one for the edited. After my editor finished his work and I went over them, I turned around and sent the wrong ones in to Mike and didn't realize it until now. I am so, so sorry for such a stupid mistake and I apologize to Mike, as well. I will send him the correct copies and I apologize for making him redo the postings. I'm really not that unprofessional that I would send something in with that many mistakes. I am sorry!

[Lugnutz]

No worries. It's the silly season.

[FreeThinker]

The correct, properly edited version is now up. Many thanks to Dude for his patience and hard work! Once again, apologies for my confusion.

[The Pecman]

Good job, F.T. I like the nostalgic mood and feel of the story.

One nit-pick: by 1970, Pepsi was using the "You've got a lot to live" campaign instead of the "Come alive" campaign. This is in my Top 10 commercial faves of all time, so this is a bit of trivia I know about.

[FreeThinker]

Actually, THIS story takes place in 1968, when they were still using "Come Alive." It's Dance of the Wicked Boys that is set in 1970 and the Pepsi Commercial I use in that story does use "You've Got a Lot to Live". Its a testament to Pepsi's advertising agency that we would remember that after forty-three or forty-five years!

[The Pecman]

Actually, THIS story takes place in 1968, when they were still using "Come Alive." It's Dance of the Wicked Boys that is set in 1970 and the Pepsi Commercial I use in that story does use "You've Got a Lot to Live". Its a testament to Pepsi's advertising agency that we would remember that after forty-three or forty-five years!

1968 would work for the Pepsi spot -- just barely. I was fuzzy on the year for the story, but knew from the context it was late 1960s/early 1970s. My recommendation would be to spell it out more clearly in the first chapter so that stupid readers like myself can be hit over the head to know exactly when and where we were.

I referred directly to the year only twice in my own 1968/1969 story Groovy Kind of Love, once on the first page, and once deep in the story, when I referred to the kid's allowance and he broke the fourth wall and commented something like, "hey, this was 1968, and $10 was a lot of money" or something like that.

That Pepsi spot is a favorite of mine, one I've watched over a hundred times, a big Clio winner, and for some reason it's stuck with me for more than 40 years. And we pause now for a message from our sponsor...

[Cole Parker]

Kids wore shirts like that back then. Bright, colorful, kid-shirts. You don't see that today.

C

[FreeThinker]

I loved the commercial. It brings back a lot of memories. I like watching old commercials.

As for spelling out the year, I might have been giving my readers more credit, but I thought the assassination of Bobby Kennedy and the election campaign between Nixon and Humphrey would have let the reader know it was 1968 without actually spelling it out.In Wicked Boys, the actual year isn't that important, but I researched the music and in both the original and the sequel I reference the actual hit songs that were big on the radio in late July and early August 1970. I even went to the Weather Underground web site (the meteorological organization, not the offshoot of the SDS in the sixties! LOL) to get the fact that it was raining in New York City on Monday August 3, 1970, the day the sequel begins. I try very hard to use specifics that will add verisimilitude to the story.

There is also a web site called Airchecks.com that offers tape recordings of an hour or so of actual Top 40 radio from various radio stations across the country from 1957 onward. I have made notes from the WABC files of 1970, plus KHJ in Los Angeles- the top Top 40 stations of that era, to bring authenticity to the story. Plus, I love to hear the DJ patter, the commercials, the style of radio back in the Golden Age of Top 40 radio.

Having said all that, however, I must admit that I was wrong on the Pepsi ad campaing for 1968. "Come Alive" was 1966 campaign. "Taste the Beats the Others Cold" was the 1967-68 campaign. (Man, talk about an anal-retentive conversation!) LOL Man, the guys were HOT in those commercials! Were we more sexy back then?

[colinian]

Did you notice the two gay guys walking down the sidewalk in the 1969 "Big City USA" commercial? Those days, according to my granddad (he's straight but had gay friends back then) guys couldn't hold hands, but they'd rub their arms as they walked down the street.

Colin

[colinian]

Having said all that, however, I must admit that I was wrong on the Pepsi ad campaing for 1968. "Come Alive" was 1966 campaign. "Taste the Beats the Others Cold" was the 1967-68 campaign. (Man, talk about an anal-retentive conversation!) LOL Man, the guys were HOT in those commercials! Were we more sexy back then?

Chris said it's because there wasn't a focus on excess. The guys weren't flouting six-pack abs or big tat-covered biceps; the girls weren't over-endowed — or even endowed except as nature made them.

Colin

[The Pecman]

As for spelling out the year, I might have been giving my readers more credit, but I thought the assassination of Bobby Kennedy and the election campaign between Nixon and Humphrey would have let the reader know it was 1968 without actually spelling it out.

Damn, that went right past me. My apologies, F.T.!

You're right on the "Taste That Beats the Others Cold," which was also a great jingle. But that '69 jingle just knocked me out -- the "Sgt. Pepper" brass arrangement did it for me. And the visuals are great. You guys aren't the first to notice the two men walking down the street. Coincidence... or not?

I believe the Pepsi beach commercial was shot around Point Dume in Malibu, which is a very famous movie location going back decades. Very cold water, even in the summer -- I bet those shirtless guys were freezing in the water.

Meanwhile, back to Innocence Lost: chapter 5 was excellent. I like the subtle shadings on the parents and the realism of the kids.

[FreeThinker]

Ooops. I mentioned the campaign, but that doesn;t come into the story until chapter 7. I gave my own spoiler!

[Cole Parker]

If anyone was waiting for this one to finish before starting, time's up. You'll probably end up reading it all in one sitting, so block out some time for yourself.

Now I've got to go read The Scholar'sTale in it's new and improved version.

C

[Rutabaga]

This story has reappeared as a Pick from the Past.

I'm pretty sure I never read it before, both because it does not seem familiar (although the setting is shared with other @FreeThinker tales) and because I did not post a comment about it.  

It is, of course, a growing-up story, and a pretty massive wallop hits in Chapter Eight.  If one were to summarize its theme, it would be that "people need each other," and that lives can be turned upside down overnight. 

I agree with the many favorable comments above from the original posting, and hope that folks will take a look.

R

[Ivor Slipper]

I had read it before, but sufficiently long ago to enjoy it again. A touching story.

[Cole Parker]

I've read all his stories several times.  They're worthy of multiple reads.  He's one of our truly great writers.  He pulls you into his stories and doesn't release you till the very end.

C