Fifteen by Frederic

[JamesSavik]

I searched several times to see if this gem had ever been commented on. Having found no comments, it's up to me to tell you all that this short novel is art.

OK- we do what we do. Sometimes we do it right and we surprise ourselves. I'm not sure that anything I ever did was art. Maybe Freethinker or Cole or Elecivil. But I digress.

Fredric nailed this motherf**ker to a tree.

We've done teen romance to death. Done it. Done it over. Set it on fire, bulldozed it and redone it.

This story is from somewhere else entirely.

The voice in this story is amazing. I knew that guy OK?

You see Aiden, the protagonist of the story is a smart ass like me.

This character come alive on the page right in front of your face.

If you haven't read this story. It's like a Jedi writers mind trick. I've never seen anybody, ever do/use/create a voice like this.

It so reveals the character that you just know he's sitting there on the page laughing back at you.

Now- go read it! If you've already read it, read it again just for the voice. Fifteen by Frederic

Fredric. Dude. You're awesome.

[Cole Parker]

I agree with you, James. The voice is really hard to get the way you want it. I've only done it a couple of times in all the stories I've written. I loved what eventuated in DDG, but don't know how I got that and haven't really duplicated it since. If you get it right, with all the nuances and underflying self-deprecating humor, you find the story almost writes itself, bouyed by that voice.

He's a hell of a good writer. Just not prolific enough.

C

[colinian]

I've read it. It's great. There's one thing I HATE about it — that frickin' damned RED background! It makes reading a pain, strains the eyes, generates headaches.

Colin

[jnwrx1]

You can read it on the Nifty site without the background, not that it bothers me, but I loved the story. The picture on the main story page bothers me more than the red background .

It's not the syrupy way too sweet kind of teen romance that is usually so overdone, and sometimes it's even hard to tell that there is romance, but you do get the impression by the end that Billy really does love Aiden, and Aiden likes Billy, too. I think you can almost compare Aiden to Alec from the Sanitaria Springs universe in terms of being a smart ass who is also somehow street smart and knows how to get around conventions for a while.

It is truly from a different realm of perspective, though. Aiden is not the typical hero, and Billy is definitely not the typical character for the follower role. Anyone else would probably have done the typical jock meets nerd type story, but Federic has switched up everything and stood it on it's head.

My favorite part is where Billy says " I think you're the hottest skeleton I ever met." I could really have used a genuine boyfriend like Billy at that age, too.

[dude]

OK.. I'll accept responsibility for the red background and the Index Page photo.

Colors worked for me as at the time it was published... my eyes were a problem and white font on red was really easy for me to read compared to other combinations I tried. Frederic was not overly enthused about my choice of the picture... I have to admit.

Maybe I can persuade John to work his magic with a re-make... but the story itself remains .. well awesome, dude!

[Rutabaga]

I know I've read this more than once in the past and I also know that if I start reading it now I won't be able to stop until I've finished it once again.

R

[Chris James]

I believe that American Cupcake was the first of Frederic's stories I read many years ago. And then I read Fifteen and developed a whole new appreciation for this author. James is right, it is the Voice he uses that brings this story alive and here is why:

I most appreciate good dialogue and that is my focus when writing. But the spoken word cannot always include the characters ongoing thoughts and images. Frederic has overcome that handicap with an overwhelming amount of self descriptive narrative from his characters. I know we toss around the concept of painting with words but In Fifteen we truly get the art our minds are dying to see.

Cole is right, Frederic doesn't write enough, but then unlike most of us he has a day job. Suffice to say I always look forward to anything new he pens and I believe he has quite a following who appreciate his art.

[Lugnutz]

This one confused me. I wasn't expecting the whole story in one chapter. I clicked the next chapter only to find the story I just read. I was expecting 32 more chapters. I'm a sad panda. The color is fine with me. No strain or anything.

[Cole Parker]

You're right, Lug. For some reason, all the chapter numbers, as least the few I tried, open Chapter 1. But having read this years ago, I know there are a lot more.

C

[dude]

OK guys... back when we posted this story, a short novel... the chapters were set up in the main file with Roman Numerals marking the chapters. Since some of these chapters were quite short -a couple of paragraphs- I set it up this way to make it easier to read for those who wanted to read several chapters at a time. The chapters buttons on the index page take you to the place in the story that corresponds to that chapter should you have to pause reading at any point

It might be that when you click on chapter 8 it could take a while to scroll down to VIII, especially if you are using a slow Internet connection in a public place like a hospital where it is shared with many others.

I have a 15M wireless connection on Clear Wireless (Sprint's Network) and it goes immediately to the selected chapter but I can imagine it taking a couple of seconds on a slower circuit.

Mike

[Lugnutz]

Not complaining. Not used to the old ways is all. Still a good story.

[Cole Parker]

Yeah, I see that now. Thanks for the explanation.

C

[dude]

I have changed the background color but left the model. He still personifies Aiden to me.

Be sure to hit F5 or refresh your browser to see the new background.

Mike

[JamesSavik]

Very nice Mike but, I had no complaint. Red has always been my color.

[Lugnutz]

Light blue seems to work better.

[colinian]

I thank you, Mike. My ophthalmologist thanks you too.

Colin

[Rutabaga]

I agree with you, James. The voice is really hard to get the way you want it. I've only done it a couple of times in all the stories I've written. I loved what eventuated in DDG, but don't know how I got that and haven't really duplicated it since. If you get it right, with all the nuances and underflying self-deprecating humor, you find the story almost writes itself, bouyed by that voice.

I thought "High Plains of Wyoming" succeeded pretty well in creating a consistent and authentic voice for the narrator (Mason). It was steely and not lighthearted, yet there was kind of a Zen quality to Mason's approach to his life circumstances that was curiously engaging.

R

[Cole Parker]

I do try with each one I write to make the voice unique. I would guess we all do, try to make the voice fit the character and somewhat expand him. At the same time, we try hard not to make the voice our own, not to slip into speech patterns we use. Takes a lot of concentration, and, for me, a lot of tweaking and revision as the story reaches that stage of preparation.

C

[Lugnutz]

The photo is perfect. Don't you dare change it. It's perfect and fits the story.

[jnwrx1]

The photo is perfect. Don't you dare change it. It's perfect and fits the story.

Yuck! lol... But the story could use a sequel, or maybe a few more chapters at least.

[Cole Parker]

Yuck! lol... But the story could use a sequel, or maybe a few more chapters at least.

I agree, from a readers POV, but for the writer, it's different. I often get the same comment, yet as a writer, I write something with a purpose and when I've satisfied that purpose, the story is done. I've said what I've wanted to say, made whatever points I set out to make. I guess the problem is, we create characters to speak and behave in ways to illustrate the points we're making, and people become enamored with these characters and want to know more.

In order to write about different things, we have to create new characters; using the same ones stagnates us. I look at Robert Parker, who created his super he-man sleuth Spenser. He wrote, I don't know, probably about 40 of these books. The first dozen were very good. After that, his same cast of characters became so predictable, they even all sounded alike. The plots took on a sameness, too. I think this is almost inevitable if you continue with the same characters. You've said what you have to say about them, and are only left with repetition.

In Sketchbook, I think we'd lose the focus of the story should he continue on. Only my view, of course.

C

[Rutabaga]

I look at Robert Parker, who created his super he-man sleuth Spenser. He wrote, I don't know, probably about 40 of these books. The first dozen were very good. After that, his same cast of characters became so predictable, they even all sounded alike. The plots took on a sameness, too. I think this is almost inevitable if you continue with the same characters. You've said what you have to say about them, and are only left with repetition.

I've only read a couple of Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason novels (wherein, it should be noted, the lead character is much less the noble and virtuous guy we saw on television) but I imagine the same issue must have come up for him as well. On the TV show there were enough external forces to keep things moving -- Ray Collins became ill, then Bill Talman was dropped after CBS invoked the morals clause in his contract, then Raymond Burr's ongoing health problems flared up seriously and we had a stellar procession of guest stars like Bette Davis, Walter Pidgeon, Hugh O'Brien, Michael Rennie, and others taking center stage. So even though the stories were often a bit on the hokey side there was enough variety that it didn't become stale.

Back to the original issue, though: I have to say that I thoroughly agree with the many folks who have said they would love to continue following the characters after a story's end. Intellectually I understand the argument as to why not, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

R

[colinian]

I succumbed to requests to write a sequel to my short story One Warm Coat. So I wrote One Best Friend and added a connection to it at the end of OWC. I got requests, some pleading, to continue the story. I succumbed for one last time, and wrote One Perfect Boyfriend. This time when I added a connection to it at the end of OBF I wrote, in part, "...you can read the last story in the series..." but without the word "last" in bold.

This is the only time I've ever written a sequel (or two). It was fun, and I don't see writing sequels to any of my other stories. They are each complete as-is.

Colin

[Chris James]

Sequels are not an author's best friend. Imagine having to reference back to the early relationships of the characters in the first story just to keep the readers on track. I hate seeing that when I read some of the prolific mystery writers of our time. But then there are those who choose to ignore a character's past and that often makes for a murky future.

My Standing Up story was a sequel to Falling Down, and I even have a third story with these characters that remains unfinished. That was a case of good characters begging for a sequel and I bowed to the readers demands for more. The Exit Stage Left and Exit Hollywood stories were just part of a huge story that I broke in half and I don't think of them as a true sequel.

In my opinion if the readers beg for more of something then an author has achieved his objective. Characters don't have an expiration date so an author like Frederic is free to do what he pleases, but I think Sketchbook accomplished what he wanted. I don't think Frederic lacks for story ideas, but like the rest of us he probably just lacks the time to bring them to fruition. There will be more from this wonderful craftsman, I am sure of it...I am counting on it.

[Merkin]

It might be useful to differentiate a story with sequels from a series. A sequel will depend upon the readers’ association with its previous ‘installments’ to make sense of the characters, their history and relationships, in order to understand the unfolding story. In contrast, I’ve understood a series may use the same or most of the same characters and perhaps the same setting but each separate published part will involve a new plotline and can be understood as a standalone story.

I think that many writers do not like to undertake sequels because the ongoing relationships among the characters must necessarily evolve and develop, whereas the writer may feel that he has said what he wanted to say about those relationships and situations and prefers to rest his case.