Tragic Rabbit

Just wanted to say that Masquerade is a five parter, four chapters plus an epilogue. I love this story from one of my favorite net authors and an all-round wonderful guy, Josh, author of The Least of These. Don't miss this chapter 1 for Halloween, and then don't miss the continuing story! It's right up there with Josh's best, I kid you not! I'll pretend the 'macabre' comment wasn't a personal slur, lol. Mary Shelley I'm not, nor do I hang out (much) in graveyards. Stories and poems just somehow come off the keyboard with creepy, weird twists, is all. Where No Shadows Fall, actually a two parter where you get the really gruesome (or is that really romantic?) half on Halloween night itself, might be the creepiest TR tale yet. Both of the above tales have stunning secrets revealed later on, so check back and prepare to be surprised! Read all our AD Halloween stories and don't forget to email each author to tell them thanks for writing and how much you liked their efforts! Kisses... TR

"We're thankful for the IEDs that kill the fruit of this nation, because he thereby demonstrates that he's giving fair warning to all the other 300 million Americans to Repent or Perish... It's a grotesque sin against God to not be thankful for IEDs." The saints of the Most High God thank Him for using 'Improvised Explosive Devices' to punish a nation laden with sin! et cetera... From: http://www.thesignsofthetimes.net/tgfi.html and http://www.godhatesamerica.org/

I pulled that from the godhatesamerica.com website itself, an adjunct to godhatesfags.com, and it's from a 2006 Missouri protest, I think. Westboro Church actually protests at a lot of (other) churches, funerals and GLBT religious or political events, my own church has been picketed by various Christ-like organizations such as Phelps'. It's not uncommon, check out their websites for more information if you have a strong stomach. I don't think this one was one of the military funeral protests but those get the same treatment at present. People in the photo who are not protesting may be attending the actual event, protesting the protesters or with a news agency, that latter being the raison d'etre of Phelps' protests. There are often folk hanging around watching when protests are happening, esp if there are opposing camps in evidence. All the pictured signs are aimed at decrying America going to Hell because it tolerates and celebrates fagdom, etc, etc, hence the trampled American flag. Hurricane Katrina was one of America's punishments for this pro-fag attitude, btw. I juxtaposed it with the OutProud logo and links to their site, along with my own 'Reject the Hate', btw. I did not link any of the Phelps' sites... TR

Except for the '*heee heee*', I loved it, laughed repeatedly. Very cute, very funny, nicely done, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I feel constrained to point out my suspicion that most Odes are composed when the poet is inebriated, so the 'drunken ode' in the title might be redundant. I'd like to see research done into the influence of drugs and alcohol on great literature, past and present, and I think Josiah just volunteered. Kisses... TR

Yeah, those IE tabs are helping me a lot, and they'll help more when I get the settings to my liking. TR

A west Texas cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resoluti on photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within minutes, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on, amused, as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows......... Now give me back my dog." Election coming up, make sure you register to vote. *

wake me when I'm crying if you spend the night, here in my bed, I only ask that nothing?s said; if my pillow?s wet, please tell no one that my eyes cried until the sun just wake me when I?m crying or look the other way, it?s just my heart that?s dying; at dawn, I?ll be okay please don?t let them guess he haunts my sleep or let him know that I still weep; if you lie with me until the dawn, tell no one else what?s going on just wake me when I?m crying, don?t let me cry all night, forgive me all my sighing; at dawn, I?ll be all right if you stay with me, try not to mind, ignore each tear that you will find; yes, I know that it?s unfair to you but please don?t let them know I?m blue just wake me when I?m crying and rock me back to sleep, I promise that I?m trying to learn how not to weep it?s been long enough, my heart should mend, my tear-filled nights should finally end; I wish I?d forget he said goodbye but I can?t help it that I cry just wake me when I?m crying and hold me close to you, till all my tears are drying and this long night is through if you spend your night alone with me, don?t let me drown in heartbreak?s sea; though it isn?t you that is to blame, please wipe my tears and call my name just wake me when I?m crying and tell no one it?s true; help send this heartache flying and bid these tears adieu *

I here repeat my offer to read poems or short works by other authors for the AD Audio Page. PM me if interested. No strings. Kisses... TR

Thanks!! Yes, though I unfortunately don't own a copy. In fact the actual upload file of the aerialist has a photo of Tony Curtis on the platform, reaching for the trapeze. It amused me on several levels to use that pic, and not only because I'm a big Tony Curtis fan. If tr.org is ever updated (ahem) with the dozen or so more recent poems, you can go there to see that. Till then, you'll just hafta take my word for it. (Warning-gush alert-diabetics might want to skip this last bit ) I met Tony Curtis once and, man o' man, he is the most charming guy in person you'd ever want to meet...and this is me, usually more annoyed by actors in RL rather than otherwise. He is sweet as hell and, even at his age (whatever that is), he is one sexy, handsome man with a million-killowatt smile. I think I met him around the time he married this last wife, much younger than him? I had zero trouble imagining anyone, of any age or sexual persuasion, lusting after Tony Curtis. I am not fond of meeting 'stars', unless they're writers or painters maybe, but wowza, I'll not forget meeting Tony Curtis. That guy has more charisma and charm than nearly anyone I've ever met! And so nice! And yes, he let me kiss his cheek...isn't that sweet? (I was too chicken to try kissing anything else) He is just Charm Personified but it doesn't come off fake, as so many actors will, it comes off as he's just a Nice Guy, maybe not too bright but filled with sincere love for his fellow humans. And that ain't common in Hollywood, IMO. Hell, it's not common in my own neighborhood... Just added a new dimension to my loving his films, I guess. Kisses... TR

Thank you, Jason, but I was doing exactly what Gabriel describes, I was 'reading' (or performing, or interpreting or whatever you want to call it) The Midnight Chime exactly as I had heard it while writing. Generally, I can still hear that cadence in a finished piece and, yes, I suppose I am injecting emotion into it, too, but emotions were there, audible in my head, when I wrote it, trust me. I think Des is wrong, though, in saying that radio announcers, etc, can't do other types of voice performance. I think the same person is quite capable of being good at all of those types of vocal performance, though not necessarily of course, and they'd just be switching from different 'modes' when doing one type or the other. I 'speak' differently when giving a political speech to an audience than I do when reading poetry, for instance, and differently still when doing news, promos or updates for ADR. I don't sing, or not where anyone but my cats can hear me, but I'd do that differently, too, if I knew how. Stage acting is another kind of 'voice performance', too, as are other things I've done, like debating or teaching a class. You don't use the same voice for different things. The Dude is a lifelong, professional radio guy but his 'radio voice' is not his speaking voice, nor is it his singing voice, which is also quite excellent. Like Gabe, I enjoy reading (or call it whatever) my own work or the work of others; I enjoy making the listener hear the poem/story as I hear it in my head. I plan to record a lot more of my own stuff and might be willing to read others' work if they feel themselves unable to do so for use on the AD audio page. PM me if you're interested. I have a lot of other TR stuff recorded, a few of which are up at AD, others should follow (including On The Lonely Ocean, recorded yesterday). That said, however, most people are terrified of reading and speaking and this should not be pushed onto anyone unwilling. As a longtime speech and drama teacher, I can promise you that everyone won't do well and many people will be upset at even the appearance of pressure to perform. People who want to read their stuff, go to it, if you don't, don't sweat it, just enjoy what others offer here at AD. And thanks for the compliments! Kisses... TR, the Ham Rabbit PS. Ahem, The Midnight Chime isn't a vampire tale in that no one drinks blood, though it is a gothic style horror story with more than a bit of the erotic thrown in. I think he's more of a ghost than the undead, though he is the undead dead, at least for the hour before midnight. Maybe you should record this piece as a sort of how-to for reading and recording poetry? Kisses... TR

Thanks! Yes, Des, it was a death leap but the line was meant to be slightly ambiguous. Also, the aerialist was, in my mind, as much a metaphor as a reality. I was visualizing the actual trapeze artist (a common synonym for bisexual or opportunistic homosexual) as a symbol for myself or others I know. Suicidal feelings or destructive life choices, etc. Kisses... TR

I do think that Best of Nifty should be exclusively for stories at, well, Nifty. I think we can recommend non-Nifty stories elsewhere, though. My understanding is that this is the Dude's position...at least, it was his position the last time I inquired. Kisses... TR

This is why I don't date birds, Emu. Bossy, bossy, bossy... j/k Actually, two of the stories are potential Halloween stories and all but one is due by month's end, so your suggestion is utterly useless. But thanks for the thought. It might help to concentrate on one at a time, not that I'm not, but maybe one at a time UNTIL that one is done...or something, I dunno. EXCUSES list- I haven't felt well at all, and the new kid in the house brought insects with her (but has the sweetest big eyes, so there ya go), and I've teetered on the brink of being outright downright sick, and half my friends are depressed or dying or whatever...and I get these upbeat daily email horoscopes that say things like 'polish your karma till it shines', et-fucking-cetera, and I'm just unhappy, I guess. Or else I need more chocolate. I'd say I need more sex but the bf just got fired and his mood is anything but thataway. Piano players are so highstrung...though actually he's an organist. Yep, an organist, yuk it up, bird. I'm more likely to walk a mile for a Camel than for Antonio Banderas. And that's just sad. Bleh. Rabbits are so whiney... (but they taste good in stew) Kisses... TR

IF I finish it, I'll be entering. Would you believe I have six stories currently open and working just now? Yes, that includes DC21&22. No, that doesn't include all TR's Unfinished Files, nor does it include OTHER people's stories I'm late with as editor (my apologies to those I love). It only includes what TR is actively writing and working on this month. I wish I could blame my kitties for the delays and disorder... Can I blame the weather? The government? Kisses... TPR (Tragic Procrastinator Rabbit)

Too Funny! Kisses... TR

Is this a cousin, too, Camy? I saw the family resemblance immediately...or thought I did. TR

Gawd, Cicero was a well-known prude, he probably never jacked off in his life, seriously. A famous Forum joke, I think originating with either Catalina or Clodius, was that Cicero had only had sex with his wife Terentia twice (they had two kids, a boy and a girl)...once to try it, and years later, again, to make sure it was as bad as he remembered. Cicero was a prissy person and a big fat liar, too. Take no note of Cicero on any subject as serious as sex. Kisses... TR

When Bert catches Ernie in bed with someone else, expect the unexpected... http://www.metacafe.com/watch/227355/burt_...nie_and_cookie/

the aerialist I climb the pole, slick shaft of steel, with trembling limbs, heart a-drum; watchers gasp their breath to see me so high this small circus platform shimmies and shakes hard beneath my feet; my blood is ice yet I must not look down muttering masses on the ground hope for fear and feats of skill; covertly do they long for blood and bone I fill my lungs, then send my hand reaching out through open air; toward my gilded dreams toward the bright trapeze eight long feet out and miles away is that far suspended bar, it draws my eyes so I do not glance down I look to the harsh lights above and release my ragged breath, then murmur magic and ready my resolve I put my trust in the arcane science of trajectory; bodies in motion, physics of flying eyes on my prize, I tense and leap arcing towards the bright trapeze, how high am I and far must I now fall *

K, I'll check them out. And there are programs for this specifically, they're just a tad expensive for someone who doesn't, at this time, know whether he'll be writing more than one play. I'm just entering a contest is all... Kisses... TR

I only scanned the text but wanted to say that, in my opinion, shock therapy does work for many things...it just doesn't 'cure' homosexuality. It can, of course, reduce your wish to act on homosexual inclinations. I consider that an abuse of shock therapy and not the best advertisement for it as a treatment. I worked in college with autistic kids at our behavior center and saw enough to believe that some pretty radical stuff is all that helps, definitely hardcore behavioral Skinner-type stuff. Shocks, restraints, food rewards, I've personally seen them all work on autistic kids. Sorry, but it's true. And, as that article points out, autistic kids can do a lot of damage to others and to themselves. These are not people able to live in the world. They can't work, socialize, date or even have friends, and they may routinely and regularly harm themselves or others. I personally found autism to be terrifying, to be so disconnected from other humans strikes my friendly, social little heart as possibly the worst way to experience life. Other disorders are said to respond well to shock therapy, too. For a few decades, it fell out of favor but is now used commonly with particular problems. Just because it sounds drastic isn't reason enough for me to dismiss the idea that shock therapy could allow someone to live a happier and more productive life. Some of the disorders people live with are pretty drastic, too, and if shock therapy helps, then that's great. Just another perspective. TR

Dearest Camy, I don't need a template, I need software that FORMATS for me. The thing about playwriting (I'm discovering) is that formatting is a b*tch! Sure, a page or two, no prob, but a whole entire play? I'm hoping to have this one done by Feb but am apparently going to need software. But thank you, anyhow... Kisses... TR

Does ANYone have a good playwriting program I can buy (cheaply), use or borrow? NOT screenwriting, playwriting, and must be compatible with XP. TR, desperately seeking software...

Sometimes Love Is Like That Have you ever walked a mountaintop in the Rockies, so high aloft that the air itself grows thin, tired, your head aches as your stomach roils and, at night, you lie awake, unwell, too weary, weak and sick for sleep? Sometimes love is like that. Have you ever touched the ocean floor beneath the bright Pacific blues down in the deepest depths of darkness where frightful fishes flee frantic from things that slither-slink those shadowed seas, and black water weighs you down like stones? Sometimes love is like that. Have you ever lain in flowered fields on your back, face-up like daisies and worn the summer warmth upon your skin like soothing silken robes of sunshine, felt the gentle drowsy passage of the day and a peace for which there are no words? Sometimes love is like that. *

**Blush** Why thank you, fellas. Sad and sexy, that's me...well, the former, anyhow. I guess the laugh wasn't at my expense, huh, Trab? Trab, don't be so literal-minded, luv. And yes, that 'ad' was intentionally self-deprecating. I have other promos, though, and some may be unintentionally amusing. Speaking of cute promos, I just caught Janine's Aussie Act, it was hilarious! She almost sounds like an Australian! That's Graeme's wife, for those who haven't read his Family Snippets in our Drawn From Life section. They're awfully fun, those stories and Janine features in many of them, so it was nice to put a voice to the name. Kisses... TR P.S. The piano-playing bf took me out for steaks tonight and we had Australian wine with dinner. Little kangaroos on the cork...(the wine cork, not the bf's) made us wonder just what was in the bottle. While sipping the fruity, flavorful Oz wine, bf told me about this stupid tee-shirt he'd bought in Austria and I found a pic online...see below. Geography is a lost Art, I suppose, along with Penmanship and Disco Dancing.