Tragic Rabbit

OK, just to clarify here... an anachronism is something that doesn't fit the time period in question, not the other way around. An example: President Lincoln goes to Ford's Theater that night to see "Cats." Yes, but I think Jamie meant that when an author (or filmmaker) insists on technical accuracy to the detriment of the work itself. After all, we'd hate to watch a film about King Arthur where the characters spoke the English of the time. Also, some people don't seem to get the humorous intentional uses of anachronism, eg. the above references to A Knight's Tale. So there are a lot of reasons to use something that you know is wrong for the time, but is right for the storytelling. Therefore I agree with Jamie's comments on this thread. TR

From Blind Items: ?It?s startling to learn this about myself, but I can walk through a crowded Manhattan apartment sale and notice a plastic Farrah Fawcett-Majors head circa 1977 in mint condition under a table near the back, even if the box is partially covered by a trash bag. When Warren saw my find, he rolled his eyes and sneered out an unenthusiastic ?Faaaabulous?. Warren, despite his rep as a somewhat flamboyant queen, didn?t comprehend camp the way the average gay man (like me) did. Or maybe it was just that Warren could appreciate the camp of a Farrah head but couldn?t get over the idea that someone would pay ten dollars for it, let alone feel that he?d gotten a bargain.? ?I refused to believe I was being stared at by the man TV Guide had voted Most Eligible Bachelor of ?98. I?d never been voted anything at all. I didn?t even vote. I scanned him from head to toe, impressed at how steady I felt with his pelvis practically in my face. He had the air of one of those guys who?d been a star quarterback in high school, having developed Charles Atlas muscles overnight at age thirteen. He was one of the flawless ones, those specimens who either become actors, models, rent boys, or next-door neighbors who exist to drive the rest of us insane.? BLIND ITEMS by Matthew Rettenmund, a TR review ?Blind item? is a gossip column term for the scurrilous printing of information that contains no names, just pointed details easily recognizable by those in the know, the secrets only half-revealed, the ?truths? reflected through a distorted mirror. Secrets, smoke and mirrors are what make up Matthew Rettenmund?s second romantic novel, Blind Items; shifting scenes and characters who hide themselves from each other and their own hearts. Lust and passion, pain and price, all overlayed with the catty wit and direct prose recognizable to readers of Boy Culture, but here taking us on a more desperate ride. David Greer edits copy for gay porn rag Pumped, surrounded at work by sanitized photos of beautiful naked men humping one another, and numbed daily by banal masturbatory prose. This wasn?t what he?d planned; he?d meant to write a novel. But what with one thing and another, he finds himself past thirty and utterly, completely lost. What he wants isn?t clear, but he can?t help sniffing in the wind. One of David?s two best friends is Warren, the under-appreciated Island Rage gossip columnist infamous for slicing and dicing his subjects like a Benihana chef: ?Warren had come out to his mother and father when he was eleven, even experimenting with drag before it was time to learn to shave. I can?t comment on that because I literally can?t picture it. As this piece of information suggests, there was something superhuman about Warren. He was a sort of homosexual prodigy.? The other best friend is the elegant, and straight, Carol; they bond in her ?nostalgia? junk shop the day David discovers a perfectly preserved set of paperdolls from the ?60s television show Julia: As Carol tells him later, ?Anyone that can cry over Diahnne Carroll must be worth knowing.? The two of them crash a swanky (or is that skanky?) promo party for the hit TV series Lifesavers (think Baywatch with even less clothing), hoping to meet the star, muscle-boy Alan Dillinger, but are stunned when the famous hunk actually walks up and talks to them! Could there be more to Alan than just his looks and fame? But David knows that his dreams of dating a movie star are just that, dreams?at least he knows it until he hears that famous husky voice on his answering machine. What happens next is anyone?s guess, especially as Hollywood rumormongers have hinted for years that Alan wasn?t really straight. And in the background, or is it the foreground, we encounter John, an unloved and unlovely movie geek growing up in the polyester years, ignored by a resentful, alcoholic grandmother. His friendless life sparks a fascination with silent screen idol Gil Romano, whose handsome face decorates the walls of the tiny trailer park bedroom as John, over his empty teen years, acquires photos and mementos of the dead actor?s career. He funnels fear of his own homosexuality into a confused passion for an actor who shot himself long before John was born. All these characters have secrets from others and from themselves, things unsaid, shameful hopes, hidden fears or desires that fuel the more insecure circuits between them. Who is who, and what is what? Blind Items a beautiful puzzle by author Matthew Rettenmund; you work it out carefully as he slips you up and down the decades, teasing you with tidbits, mesmerizing you with heart and gut wrenching scenes in these, the secret lives of his characters. You?ll be unable to put this book down, I guarantee it, until you?ve read every last page, put all the puzzle pieces together. Blind Items is published by St. Martin?s Griffin of Fifth Avenue, NYC and is available from Amazon and other major book distributors.

From Boy Culture: ?In a year of cohabitation and friendship so communal it bordered on marriage, I?d never seen Andrew?s manhood. Actually ?manhood? is a pretty canny term. I still call it a dick or a cock or a prick, but ?manhood? comes much closer to conveying the complex array of emotions that find their gathering point in the penis, and that compel such foolhardy souls as I to worship that member in a way that embarrasses us in our more rational, guarded moments.? ?I thought I?d been hunting him down so stealthily, but once I?d told him I wanted him, he became the one in control. The hunter gets captured by the game. Not that I didn?t deserver his chiding. Not that I didn?t crave it. Regardless of who was doing the hunting and who was being hunted, how much longer could I wait? I was dying on the vine waiting for someone to get a trophy.? BOY CULTURE by Matthew Rettenmund, review by TR Mr. Rettenmund?s prose is charmingly witty, passionately sexy, and thoroughly, delightfully, gay. Boy Culture, the first of two novels (thus far) by Matthew Rettenmund, is the wonderfully fresh and happy story of X, our nameless narrator who works as a high-end callboy, and his two cute roommates. Roommate Joe, a adorable teenager who manages to be deliciously innocent despite a penchant for the party life, is falling hard for X. ?What to do when a naked seventeen-year-old serves himself up to you on a silver platter??, X asks himself. Joe has a thousand beauty aids in his bathroom and no shortage of company in bed, but longs for X to be his Prince Charming. But the object of X?s affection is Andrew, their stud roommate who broke up with a girlfriend but hasn?t quite decided whether he?s gay. ?Attraction is chance. By chance, however, Andrew was hot as the seventh plane of hell.? Living with a man you feel so powerfully attracted to, and who doesn?t (yet) have sex with men, is a torment for anyone, and X is no exception: ?After a year of fantasizing sleeping with Andrew and making him my boyfriend, I found myself in the unenviable position of being hopelessly, helplessly in love with him. Kill me now.? Between fabulous and hilarious takes on urban gay culture in our time, Rettenmund gives us heartbreaking moments in the lives of his characters. For instance, X finds himself confused by an attraction to Gregory, the romantic octogenarian client who pays by the hour but won?t have sex with him until X wants it half as much as he does! If you think that feat would be beyond a man in his eighties, you?d be wrong; when they finally do have sex, it is one of the hottest scenes in the book. The roommates, their friends, lives, loves and heartbreaks, are all written in a clear, clean prose that makes us laugh as easily as it makes us feel lust or heartfelt longing. The result is a wonderful book and an unusual love triangle; a feast that simply won?t let you put the book down until you?ve eaten every bite. These aren?t perfect guys, but they?re real guys. You?ll suffer and laugh with them throughout Boy Culture and then, when you?re done, you?ll want to read it all again. Boy Culture is published by St. Martin?s Griffin of Fifth Avenue, NYC and available from Amazon and other major publishers.

And he's usually so good about tenses. :jerk: :laughing5: TR

Yes but I was talking about the acronym 'LTR' which is more often used when discussing (mainly in writing and online, I guess) what you want. Plus, I was teasing. These days, unmarried hets seem to more often use words like 'partner' and other terms co-opted from gaydom, which I find interesting, and I've even heard quite a few married hets using those kind of terms. Of course, some gay people have always said 'husband' and 'wife', so I find the reverse cross-over worth noting. I'm hoping the increased use of the word 'partner', outside the business sense, might mean an increased openness to serious and/or long standing relationships other than heterosexual marriage, possibly even of gay marriage. But I'm not holding my breath. On a related note, I think it's interesting that you said that. I guess you mean heterosexual marrieds. Are het marrieds more likely to have no single friends than gay long term partners? Either way, you do tend to phase out your single friends, which sucks, btw, when you're one of the single friends being phased out. What I dislike more, however, are the men who serial date but are always unavailable to their friends when they're with a man, only showing up for things when they're between boyfriends. I really try not to do that but who knows? At least I know it's wrong...and also a bad idea, since most friends outlast most lovers. Of course, your cat or dog probably does, too. Kisses... TR

I've never HEARD it, I don't think, only seen it written in IM, chatrooms, profiles, 'dating' lists, etc. I don't imagine it would come up unless you were describing what you were looking for. You move in circles of folk who all have what, or who, they want? :laughing5: TR

Guys, I'd never heard that either but just assumed it was Long Distance Relationship based on 'LTR' (long term relationship) from context. 'LTR' is common in the states, is it in Australia or England? Kisses... TR

:knob: You really, really, really and seriously need to relax. I can think of one or two ways you might go about doing that. Cheers. TR

:tool: :angry4:

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, what do you do? "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A rectum stretcher?" And just what does a rectum stretcher do? Well,she said, I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide. "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked. "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...."

You know what MY pet peeve is? People who ASSUME things about word use through time. You know? Mike's use of the word has been in American currency since 1895, according to Stuart Berg Flexner, author of Listening to America and Hear America Talking. The fact that the quote isn't listed on YOUR pet quote site means nothing, quote sites, or even good quotation books, do not list everything the person ever said, and Twain made quite a few funnies in his lifetime. The ONLY authenticated source would be Twain's actual writings, not a quick check of available quotation compilations. And I think you're missing the point. But I have more to say, to wit: I also notice anacronisms, but don't always assume something IS one. The zipcode, Zone Improvement Plan, was introduced by the Post Office in 1963, of course (http://www.usps.com/history/history/his2_75.htm), but that's a pretty small mistake for the movies, a medium generally overstuffed with contributors. Who knows who made that small error? Maybe it wasn't an error, maybe USPS prefers zip codes to be listed in films, as part of their education efforts. A whole host of things are controlled that way by persons outside the actual filming, not even including real advertisments, meant for profit, of copyrighted ideas, products and persons. Examples of 'modern' phrases and their earliest authenticated use with the same meaning: creepy 1880 discombobulated 1837 frazzled 1872 gripe 1932 bitch (to complain) late 1920s ('to bitch' , same meaning, since 1675) chat 1440 terrific 1888 crummy 1931 mugger 1863 rip off 1960s phone (verb) 1880s cigs 1890s sweet (meaning 'excellent' or 'wonderful') 1880 ball buster WWII sticky 1915 tough luck 1890 tough titty 1929 tough shit 1949 crappy 1940s bogus 1827 cash 1596 faggot/fag 1905 fairy 1908 queer 1920s pansy, fruit, queen 1930s swish 1941 homo 1925 ass/jackass 1400 dimwit 1922 cool, crazy, far out, wild, weird-are all from the 1950s dumb 1736 have kittens (and related phrases) 1900 fool 1275 idiot 1300 pissed off 1948, and earlier ticked off 1940s pretty boy 1920s ignoramus 1577 moron 1910 millionaire 1820s billionaire 1861 Mother's Day first observed 1908 Father's Day first observed 1910 ...and Thomas Jefferson introduced hamburgers and french fries together as a meal, not McDonald's. Daylight Savings Time was adopted by Congress in 1918, to save coal and electricity during WWI, but was based on 'railroad time' which, including time zones, had been in use since 1883. Vitamins were invented/discovered in 1912. Cigarettes and pajamas didn't become popular until the early 20th century. People didn't start wearing underwear until the 1830s, but that was mostly men and children, women didn't regularly wear them until later. Night shirts for men first came into popularity in the 1840s, but current estimates put the number of men who still sleep in either underwear or the nude at 60%. Never, ever assume. TR

Reminds me a bit of White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane. Photo is SOOO big, honey. (Don't you love when men tell you that?) Ever seen the bumper sticker/tee shirt slogan: Reality is for People who can't Face Drugs? and, of course, Better Living Through Chemistry, which was, I think, a Devo slogan at one point. But you know, drugs don't kill, people do. Kisses... TR

It's hard to...read that blue, baby

Your boyfriend might not like us sharing a coast? :sex: TR :tongue8:

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! "Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here. Rub it." So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a handsome genie standing before him. "I will grant you one wish. Just one wish --- each person is only allowed one!" The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, " I want a million bucks!" A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming! The bar tender turns to the man and says, "I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." "Tell me about it!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist? *

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real dick. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy ...you explain the kids."

Tony Blair started jogging near his home in Chequers. Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. "Fifty pounds!" she'd shout from the curb. "No! Five pounds!" Tony would fire back. This ritual between Tony and the hooker became a daily occurrence. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty pounds!" He'd yell back, "Five pounds!" One day, Cherie decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Tony realized she'd bark her offer and Cherie would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a darn good explanation for the 'Boss'. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Tony became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. Tony tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for five quid!!!"

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you." "Yes," she says, "I remember it well." "OK," he says, "how about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oooooooh, Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers. There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly, they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes! She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, still watching thinks, that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is. As the couple passes, he says to them, "That was something else! You must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?" The old man says, . . . . . . . . . . . "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!!!"

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf Ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Q . Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick. Q. Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it. Q. What is a Yankee? A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? A. They both like a tight seal. Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? A. Their balls are just for decoration. Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"? A. About three inches. Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms? A. For traction in the mud. Q: What's the difference between purple and pink? A. The grip. Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A. It's not hard. Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 pounds. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? A. The swallow. Q. What is the difference between medium and rare? A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare. Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind. Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A. They don't have balls to scratch.

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you - you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it". The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix! me up, doc". The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis". The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion". The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice". The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease". The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!" The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!" Oh, Thank God!", the man replies. "Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get tired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with one chopstick go hungry. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A young couple took their three-year-old son to the Doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that, although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him bagels with cream cheese. That should solve the problem." The next morning, when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm bagels and cream cheese in the middle of the table. "Gee, mom," the boy exclaimed."For me?" "Just take two," his mother replied. "The rest are for your father."

A man in a restaurant orders the house special. An old waiter brings out the order beginning with some hot soup. The customer notices the waiter has his thumb in the soup. Feeling sorry for the old man he doesn't mention it, and leaves the soup uneaten. When he brings the main course his thumb is in the potatoes. Then in the coffee. Finally, he angrily asks the waiter why he has his thumb in all his hot food. The waiter says, "I have arthritis and the doctor told me to keep it in something warm." The annoyed customer says, "Why don't you stick it up your ass!" And the waiter says, "I do that in the kitchen!"

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that." The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many." The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way." The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" "Only when he's been drinking."