Tragic Rabbit

I also like this story very much. I'd read it on Nifty prior to telling the Dude that I considered it to be of AD quality, I'm glad people are reading it that perhaps had missed it on Nifty. Its very well researched and wonderfully written. Kisses... TR

Thanks!! Codey, hon, I'm sorry if you didn't like that it was disturbing, I did mean it to be, without being something terrifically heavy. It felt a little like a tiny script, I might end up writing a whole one, either from this idea of gay life (public cats/private pain) or from something else. I've got a few new projects going and when I get stocked up on cigs and Vanilla Coke, they should begin to appear on AD. Gabe, I consider you one of my favorite and weirdest hallucinations. James, dear, I'm glad you liked it and seemed to understand where TR was coming from. I wonder sometimes just how many things we do just in order to hide the scars, or to hide from future scarring. I think, though, that when you look deep and in just the right light, you can find amazing souls inside the most unexpected people. And loss is something most of us understand... Kisses... TR

I'm not so sure. I don't think it matters, the details of the person on the receiving end of hate, whether they were asking for it, how they were dressed, what choices THEY made. I think the only thing that matters is the hate and the hater. Regardless of whether haters miss or hit their intended/stated target, what they're doing, what they're thinking, is wrong. Its the vector of hate that matters, not the end point. Otherwise, we devolve into discussions of who deserved what, how they lived their lives and loved their loves; in other words, whether targetting them was justified. Nothing justifies hate, especially when expressed in violence. No, we can't legislate thoughts, people are entitled to feel hate, to think hate. What they are not entitled to is any regard whatsoever for violence in hate's name, to my mind, there is NO defense for them, none whatsoever. Hate expressed is Evil and its the only definition of Evil that makes sense to me. TR

Yes. I got into some of this around 2000 and 2001, reading a bit of Derrida, Foucault, etc, and finding my mind stretched out nicely on a regular basis. Fascinating stuff, very often mind blowing. Other authors worth checking out: Baudrillard and Hakim Bey. I think I must have more than a half dozen of the former, he just turns my head upside down. In the nicest way. And Foucault, of course, was gay, his work on queerness is considered landmark work. TR

No kidding, I like it a lot. After he sent it to us, I told the Dude that I'd read some of it already on Nifty and liked it. Good story, well written, well researched. I should have submitted it myself but maybe I had the idea that no one at AD wanted historical fiction. I'm glad I was wrong, especially as I have another historical story myself out now. His is more of a novel, long but worth the time to read. I think you'll enjoy it if you start it... Kisses... TR

The kiss of death, it seems. But I'm glad you liked it. Smooches, TR

No, TR has not written a new story, set in the 1941 Pacific Ocean. He has not written it nor has he posted same. Nor has anyone read it, obviously, since it doesn't exist. Had he written one and no one read it, that would mean that it sucked prodigiously. Just thought I'd mention. TR

The Asking For Trouble Dance, I'd imagine, as my impression is that poofters are held in low esteem down in Oz. I thought the term 'mating dance' was a dance, or whatever activity, that precede mating, or sexual congress. Is this an Aussie-ism? And aren't those Aussie-isms cute? Esp from a distance... Kisses... TR

Okay, that was funny, admit it, Dude. TR

Hehe. Naughty, naughty, AJ. Though I challenge the idea that writing a story is just typing, if it were, it wouldn't take so damn long. But you know that. On the sexuality thing, I think Kinsey made it clear that most people are bisexual, that there's a continuum of sexuality [as defined by fantasies and sensual experiences of all kinds as well as 'relationships'] and that it is somewhat fluid through one's life. I usually call myself homosexual or gay but sometimes just say 'queer' because, to me, that word encompasses more of who I am. I have had sex with women, lived with women, also with men and have had attractions to both since before I started school. That I now significantly prefer men is more a product of emotional interactions with men and women that I've had, I find that men are generally better intimate company in and out of bed. Maybe that awareness, of the difference inside me, colored how I saw myself in society, in that social constructions, in life, in film, on television, in books, clearly indicated, even to a very young mind, that whatever I was, was not the 'norm' nor acceptable. Which is a very bad message and I'm sorry its the one I received. It doesn't lend itself to self confidence as one grows up. Which is yet another reason why this site is so great, the stories and interactions allow us to support each other and send that other kind of message, that this other thing, being queer or gay or homosexual or questioning or bisexual or WHATEVER, is a fine thing to be and doesn't disqualify you for any perks of human associations. Someone's sexuality, whether gay or BDSM or whatever, or their gender presentation, typical or atypical masculinity for instance, does not bar them from the tribe...or make discourtesy or discrimination acceptable. A young friend of mine from the Philippines got into town recently as is hanging around while I show him places and just generally let him see people that are atypical behaving normally. It always amazes me how just being around others, of the group I call Queer but has many names, can go a long way fast in improving someone's self esteem. What? all these queer type people do normal things like getting married, dating, raising kids, going to picnics or parties, having coffee and reading the paper, and even if sometimes you can 'tell' they are different, in essence, they are just people, acting like people, not particularly better or worse than anyone else? Yep. Just amazing how meaningful that is for someone who hasn't had the experience. Hell, its still meaningful for me and I'd never choose to live outside of or far from places where I can experience that, it just isn't good for my soul. AD is one of the online places that is good for my soul, and yours too, I hope. Kisses... TR

#3 Thank You mama took a pencil and drew me alligators: lady alligator with earrings and purse gentleman lizard reptilian grin and a red necktie mama read me stories: ?saunday comin? along? gory brothers grimm and way up on olympus spiteful goddesses haughty pagan gods and edgar allan poe mama made me biscuits rolling dough each morning flour on her fingernails punching out circles that puffed up in the heat flaky and delicious with ribbon cane syrup mama washed and dressed me taught me to tie my shoes brushed down my cowlicks gave me lunch money extra for ice cream and all that other stuff without a thank you *

#2 cheerleader cool, she couldn?t understand why her daddy had to lay on down and die his hound dog howlin? while her mama?s hands went right on shuckin? them peas shuckin? them peas small town sweetheart, she couldn?t work it out how her own man could be so elevator smooth buttons flashin? Up always ridin? Down spineless fool gotta headache headache tonight petty princess, she learned to live on hate all the sloppy secrets eatin? out her heart chewin? bitter meat just to taste the gall still daddy?s girl she knew her worth knew her own worth daddy?s darlin?, her empty womb bewitched birthing bottle babies always glued to books never catching balls unworthy offspring no mother?s milk just let him cry just let him cry cold cassandra, she?ll never understand why her life shrank down small beset by fragile men finally set adrift angry amazon mislaid her pom poms daddy loves you sure he loves you *

#1: Mama's got a headache Mama?s got a headache draw the shades slink like skinks Mama?s got a headache shut your mouth zip that lip Mama?s got a headache don?t make noise don?t be boys Mama?s got a headache wake her up and you?ll be so-rry Mama?s got a headache shhhh *

Dear Rad I'm trying to phase out my AOL account but its still active. The tragicrabbit domain addresses are through the website so they're also good. Did I not reply to the last email? If so, my humblest apologies. And thank you for the comments on DC. If my downstairs neighbor would stop bassing my head off my shoulders and the pictures off the walls, I could maybe get some writing done today. For months, I thought the heavy bass was from a nearby bar. Why are people so inconsiderate? Kisses... TR

dcorvus I liked it a lot, lovely words put together beautifully. You really didn't need to explain, it does conjure the image of a restless sleeper in a darkened room. Kisses... TR

Is Drama Club dark and depressive? A light hearted romance? A light hearted and depressive romance? Just curious. Kisses to Rad! TR

Subtlety is the Dude's trademark. Um,what can I say? Not writing weighs you down like crazy, it feeds on itself until nothing seems to make you want to sit at the keyboard. Its a weird feeling, I used to write all constantly. Part of it is the lessened response from readers, but that's not all of it, I'm sure. I'm genetically predisposed to depression but knowing that doesn't make it go away. I think whining at us does help, even if we complain. At least we know someone's reading our stuff. That's not always clear. Kisses... TR

*sigh* No one even noticed the last chapter. Yeah, depressed, I suppose you could call it writer's block. Feels like a block weighing me down, I guess. I'm off to gay church this afternoon but will try to get some of my projects finished tonight and/or tomorrow. What I need is encouragement (and to stock up on vanilla Coke and cigs). I'm overwhelmed by losses and the physical right now, finding the way to submerge myself back into fiction would be good for me, actually. Kisses... TR

boys in studyhall boys in the gym lockeroom buds ripe for picking ammonia gardenia swelling with smell of sweat and piss boyhood flowers ripe for plucking drooping lilac weeping willow men in subways men on the street newsstand blossoms open in the sun velvet roses and thorny pricks daytime garden overripe flowers giving off man scent give it to me

Excellent. I think all quarrels should be automatically shifted to the Limerick Lane/Poetry Place. Members unable to versify their anger will thus be disarmed and those packing prosy will inherit the earth. As it should be. Kisses... TR

But I thought the sentiment was pro-marriage. Despite what he says, he's more promised than any wedding could make him, yes? Its just the word itself, the technicality, that he's telling his parents he will not do with someone else. Because he's already given himself to Harry. Sort of as if he has some contempt for the trappings of marriage when, as he keeps saying, he's already sworn. Yes? No? The view from the inside is always different, though. There is no right way to feel about a poem, even if you are the author. Kisses... TR

No, Father, I shall not marry Shall have no bride Here at my side For I am sworn to love Harry Oh, Mother, plan no wedding day No girl in white No bridal night For I promised my soul away When we were two, I gave my heart Ribbons of blue Promises, too, That nothing could tear us apart When we were ten, he gave a ring Silver in hue With promises true Mine, no matter what time would bring No grandchild will be begotten Mother, don?t cry He did not lie I know he has not forgotten Mother, do not weep so forlorn My heart is true And despite you, Mother, I will not be forsworn So let not the churchman tarry No wedding chime I have not time For I wait alone for Harry No, Father, I shall not marry No wedding cake No vows will take For I am sworn to love Harry Version with visuals: http://www.tragicrabbit.org/poems/Sworn%20...m%20by%20TR.htm

Um, okay, indoor camping I could go for. I simply adore room service. TR

Gag, outdoorsy men! They want to get romantic near bugs and far from proper facilities. Pool parties are fun...but I don't swim. I do love to be shown how, though, by nice men. Raise your hand if you've never done it in a swimming pool... Kisses... TR

Thank you for the condolences and comments about the story. At the Dude's suggestion, I passed it to my father, the uncle Joe in the story, and he showed it to the Grandpa of the story, Tommy. They both cried, he said. Josh's funeral was today. The bullriding saddle pictured with the story was on the casket, it might have been buried with him, I didn't ask. I'll catch up the other writing as soon as I can, I'm pretty tired in more ways than one right now. Kisses... TR