Tragic Rabbit

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo." A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my dick," he said proudly. "What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain; "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick?" "Well, for one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; once in a while I like to play with my money, three; I like how money feels in my hand and lastly; instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.

http://www.awesomedude.com/stories/TR/The_...night_Chime.htm Another spooky story for Halloween here at AD! Edgar Allan Poe meets Falcon Studios in this erotic horror tale from the author of ghostly historical romance Some Enchanted Evening. The Midnight Chime combines suspense, a corpse, a clock, a curse, hot sex, and fratricide into a tale fit for All Hallow's Eve. Enjoy! Read TR's Halloween Series of poems: www.tragicrabbit.org

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."

Yeah, except for the serial killer thing. The poem isn't that kind of poem, though I do write, ah, serial killer romances, I guess (You Are So Cold, etc). This is the poem Trab quoted from: http://www.awesomedude.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=752 I DO have three poems here, thus far, with a specifically Halloween theme: Werewolf Moon, Ghost Kisses, and Vampire in the Park. Creepy love poems, one of my favorite flavors. Spooky kisses... TR

HA, I missed it before. That's terribly funny, and too terribly true. So cute, so fun! Smooches, TR

Ghost kisses on my eyelids And all the thrills thereof Urge this new night?s surrender To you, my phantom love. In chilly night embraces You wrap me like a glove; Soft whispers in the stillness From you, my spectral love. Does morning bring forgetting Do you just disappear, Or do you linger lonely Until the stars appear? Will you lie awake, restless Remembering delights, And will you ache for moonrise When love again ignites? For my part, I know hunger When sunlight rules above, And crave nocturnal kisses From you, my ghostly love. When night returns, I ?m eager And restless as a dove; To wrap myself in shadows With you, my eerie love. Which one of us is haunted, Which one does daybreak save: You with your spooky passion Or I who love the grave? No living man for my bed, No breathy human sighs, You offer me perfection: A love without goodbyes. *

This was mine, from that same newstory. James had asked others to write on the subject back in the Green Room, I think, before the forums fell. TR Can Boys Be Sugar? Mommy, what are little boys made of? Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails, She told him, and then she sighed, That's what boys are made of. Well, then, what are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice, She murmured, closing her eyes, That's what girls are made of. Mommy, Mommy, I know that it's true, Cuz I can tell just by looking at you: You make cookies sugar by Rolling 'em in white sands And make me stop hurting By just touching with your hands; Mommy, I want to be Sugar, too, I want to be Nice - like you! Mommy, can boys be Sugar? Can boys be Spice? Can boys twirl around and be Everything Nice? Can boys dress up and keep things neat? Can boys walk softly, not stomping with their feet? Can boys be pretty, can boys be kind? Can boys be gentle with little bugs they find? I bet I can do it, I betcha that I can, I don't have to grow to be a Snake and Snail man; I can be Sugar, I can be so very good, I might be a Puppy Tail but only when I should! Whatcha think, Mommy, is it gonna be that way? If I try to be only Nice in all I do and say? If I pray up to the angels, floating way above, Could I be a better boy, a boy that Daddy'd love? Mommy, why are you looking down, Why won't you answer me? Oh, Mommy, boys can be Sugar, Just you wait and see. *

http://www.cmgww.com/stars/clift/index.php

WEREWOLF MOON Moon above, so pure, so white, Luminous and eerie light; You pull my gaze to yours, As I crouch here inside the night. Like the tides, I feel your call, Hear you in my bones, my all, I sing you in my blood; Breathe out a ragged rise and fall. Full blown, pregnant, waiting moon Croons a lunar lupine tune; I lift my throat to howl- My beast will be arriving soon. [/img]

Vampire In The Park Beloved, slinking lover Spectral, slim and sure, you Watch me from the darkness, Weaving webs around my heart. You draw my eyes I catch my breath; So lithe, so lovely, so clearly Wanting me to want you. Your need, your aching fire, Your hunger calls to me; Lonely years and sorrows Bathe your face in blues. Your smile, a gladsome gift, Shining, pointed, precious; My beating blood sings hot, My throat entices. My eyes say yes, and yes, And yes again; Your pupils dilate As, stealthy, you draw near. Oh, how I want you! I remember you from daydreams I remember you from nightmares; Surely, Long ago, I knew you Surely, In ancient times, we loved. My trembling self, it knows you, My blood cries out for yours; I grow hard and faint with longing Oh, for your touch Flesh on flesh, fiery contact, Yes, please, yes. I have always loved you I can feel it in my bones as, Like a panther, you approach and Scenting prey, you smile. You draw me close, embrace me, Soft, stroking skin, I shudder; Your dark gaze is deep as shadows Wherein death and love entwine. A gasp, a feather touch, I fall into your midnight eyes So haunted, saddened, needful; Gentle teeth graze salty skin, A sigh, And I am yours. *

Sorry I didn't see this sooner but Blue is correct, it isn't a typo. I intended to say 'hearth', while suggesting 'heart'. After all, one literally warms oneself at a hearth, which also has the connotation of safety and home. With poetry, as Blue says, most of the meaning is indirect, a function of feelings, sounds and connections rather than flat and clear definitions. Poetry is meant to invoke images in your mind, not necessarily literal pictures from the words. Hugs, TR

wank Just felt like playing with my....new emoticon. Kisses... TR

This thread is SO gay. :toothy2:

How about this line of dialogue: :walk: "I'm coming!" Ben ejaculated. I hate all that complex dialogue attribution. :cussing: I know I used to do it when I started writing but now I try to stick to 'he said, she said' with a few minor variations. Someone needs to steal Graeme's adverb box.:violent2: He clearly can't be trusted to leave it alone, like a happy little kid with his hand down his pants. Kisses... TR

Two gay guys are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorillas and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital. A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?" "AM I HURT?" he shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called....he hasn't written....." *

The Last Days Of Matthew Shepard : October 7 In the wee hours of this morning in 1998: Matthew Shepard is now a passenger in the truck of Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson. McKinney pulls out a .357 magnum and demands Shepard's wallet, telling him "Guess what? We're not gay. And you're gonna get jacked!" Shepard refuses to give in, and is pistol-whipped by McKinney. Henderson laughs as the beating continues after they arrive at an isolated field a mile outside of Laramie. Shepard begs for his life. Henderson is told to go get a rope out of the truck and tie their victim's hands to a wooden split-rail post fence, but he momentarily refuses, and is punched in the face by McKinney. Shepard is finally tethered to the post, McKinney finally steals Shepard's wallet with a sum of $20, and continues thrashing his captive. Once enough damage is done (a total of eighteen blows to the head, which crushes Shepard's skull), Henderson and McKinney drive back into town. If he can hear anything above of his own cries, it is the whistling of a freezing 30-degree wind. By sunrise Shepard, bleeding profusely, will be slipping into a coma. Bicyclist Aaron Kreifels, happens upon Shepard by chance around 6:30 PM, when he slips and falls near the end of the fence. He's shocked at first by the sight of a scarecrow, and even more shocked that the bloody Matthew Shepard is alive, if breathing hard "as if his lungs are full of blood." . Kreifels makes it to the home of a nearby professor to call 911 and then the two then return to Shepard and waited for the police to arrive. Cut free, Shepard is taken by ambulance to Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins where doctors discover that his brain stem is seriously damaged, critically impairing his heartbeat, breathing and temperature control. They are unable to operate, but do insert a drain in Shepard's skull to reduce the pressure on his swollen brain. A ventilator helps him continue breathing, for now. Around midnight, his blood pressure drops. McKinney and Henderson are arrested tonight after getting into a fight with two other men in Laramie, one of who requires extensive treatment from severe head wounds. Henderson is nabbed trying to outrun a police officer, and McKinney gets cuffed shortly thereafter. The two are soon named as suspects in Shepard's beating and will be charged with first-degree murder, kidnapping and aggravated robbery. ==== "The Last Days Of Matthew Shepard October 1998" ? 2005, Thomas Heald, originally written and researched in October 2001. Sources.: The Seattle Gay News, CNN, ABC's 20/20, Jonn Robert, and the court testimony of Russell Henderson.

Haha, that's cute, Blue. My Dad was fairly cool but Mother ran the ranch, so my bros and me were always terrified of being caught. She NEVER NEVER EVER knocked! (this is why I still have privacy issues that offend friends and lovers) Sort of puts you off the whole thing, well, if anything could have, that would have. I can't imagine Dad teaching us what we 'should know about sex and love', though. Ick. Kisses... TR

Little farmboy comes in late for school. Teacher asks why he's late. Farmboy replies that he had to take the family cow over to the neighbour's to get her bred by a bull. Annoyed, teacher demands, "Can't your father do that?" Little farm boy thinks for a moment: replies, "Well, sure... but the bull can do it better."

What is it with you people? I thought only lesbians had no sense of humor. :blob: Wanting satire clearly labeled, pointing out the obvious? What gives? TR

Hmmm. Reminds me of when I started Drama Club and got so many email requests to 'meet' Angel, in chat or on the phone, for nookie. I'm like, hmmm. Pimping out my story hero? (I never did, if you're wondering) I like your icon, Trab/Bart. Two guys sword fencing, a favorite boyhood pasttime. Kisses... TR

I think the idea might have to stop boys from masturbating. Lots of worry about that at the end of the 19th and early 20th centuries. Lots of books about the evils of autoerotica and how parents should combat it. Books by women crusaders AND men! And you see how well that worked out. The whole anti sex thing just baffles me. Are they people who have never enjoyed sex and/or never had it? Even with themselves? Are they hypocrites who don't practice what they preach? Sigh. I think everyone should masturbate daily, it's more important than brushing your teeth, keeps you sane and healthy. TR

http://www.circlist.com/styles/style.html That site is obviously pro-circ but shows some of the different ways a dick can be cut, and what the results are. Kisses... TR P.S. Here's a good, short overview of the practice of routine infant circumcision: http://www.purewatergazette.net/circumcision.htm

There's this fella with a parrot and parrot swears like an old salt, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and the bird's foul mouth is driving him nuts. One day, it gets to be too much and the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets angry and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches. When the guy finally lets him out,the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a sailor blush. At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din, the bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird meekly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded and amazed at the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

GEOGRAPHY Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon? " The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, you can't see Florida from here can you...?????" CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it just died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly again. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "And, how often do I have to do that?" SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your shit together. Just yesterday you took away my license and now today, you expect me to show it to you!" RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side." KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on is bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian Blonde, an American Blonde, and a French Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The French Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot ! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the French Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.........We'll be going at night !" IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and! she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it ?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off ?" FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying, " that one was named Rolex and the other one was named Timex." Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming their dogs like that? "HHEELLOOOO," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs"!

I don't know about 'either you are or you aren't' since there are different kinds of circumcision. Some are very slight, some pretty major-including the cases where a baby's dick is cut entirely off by accident. Man, I am so against cutting kids' dicks, I can't tell you. The only time I think it's justified is when there are some problems with the skin, like boys who can't urinate or go erect without pain or problems. And this pretty much comes up, so to speak, LATER than birth. Even in those cases, I'd like to see the least amount of cutting done that would solve the problem. The arguement about looking like other boys in America doesn't go far with gay people, I'd guess, I mean SURGERY so you won't be picked on in school? Are kids really picked on for this anyhow? I mean, wouldn't giving kids nosejobs or something go a lot further to make them fit in with their peers? Jeez, Louis. I think it should be left to the ADULT to decide whether they want to cut on their dick, and I'm betting not too many would want to, esp if they knew about the loss of sensation. But even these days, you get articles like the one I just saw in my In Box about the horrors of being uncut, some more crap about higher HIV rates in the uncircumcised. So we have parents and doctors STILL cutting little boys' weiners. America is so nuts, and other countries (Korea, I'm told, as an example) have embraced the insanity as part of their American Idolatry. Bumper sticker I saw in the neighborhood: UNCIRCUMCISED? Lucky Stiff! Kisses... TR (cut)