Dear Canada...

[JamesSavik]

Dear Canada-

A number of our most obnoxious citizens are planning to immigrate to your country. I would strongly suggest that you deny them entry because they are self important ass hats. You guys are some of the nicest, most polite people in the world and I would hate for you to have to put up with these decadent celeb-u-tards. You've always been a bro and you don't deserve it.

-Your bud, the United States

[dude]

No, no... the ass hats aren't heading north... their man won!

[Gee Whillickers]

Hahahah.

Well, not to burst your bubble, but believe me, we have more than our fair share of ass hats here already. Not to mention scandals, dirty politics, underhanded dealings, celeb-u-tards (sorry again for Justin Beiber) and everything else. Not quite paradise, believe me. Why, just today on the way to the grocery store someone cut me off and and almost forgot to apologize for a whole three seconds!! And I actually had to pay a whole dollar fifty in the parking meter last time I was at the clinic for my free health care! Sheesh!!

But it is a bit amusing when folks think they can pack a suitcase and move to this country like they're moving down the block, with no thought to immigration qualifications, residency requirements, capital in the bank, necessary skills, etc. Acquiring a permanent residency card (same as a Green Card in the US) is a bit more daunting than most realize. The vast majority simply won't qualify for one reason or another.

Unless they can get refugee status, due to human rights abuses in their home country. With the way things are going, I'm starting to wonder...

[colinian]

Well… (sorry again for Justin Beiber)…

Hey… I like Justin Beiber's latest hit, Love Yourself!

Colin

[Lugnutz]

Hey… I like Justin Beiber's latest hit, Love Yourself!

Colin

Is it about masturbation?

[Addym Kehris]

Ah, come on, Lugnutz, it's got to be about Narcissism. A pretty word that rolls off the tongue so smoothly, even if the person its describing is less than lovable. LOL.

[Nigel Gordon]

But it is a bit amusing when folks think they can pack a suitcase and move to this country like they're moving down the block, with no thought to immigration qualifications, residency requirements, capital in the bank, necessary skills, etc. Acquiring a permanent residency card (same as a Green Card in the US) is a bit more daunting than most realize. The vast majority simply won't qualify for one reason or another.

This might be an alternative solution:

[colinian]

Is it about masturbation?

You'll have to listen to the song and make up your own mind about what it means.

Colin

[JamesSavik]

Cali will be repossessed by the Chinese.

[Nigel Gordon]

Cali will be repossessed by the Chinese.

Well, they were there before the Europeans!! Though I think the Native Americans have a prior claim.

[colinian]

Well, they were there before the Europeans!! Though I think the Native Americans have a prior claim.

Actually, the Chinese were not in California before the Europeans. The earliest non-native settlers were the Spanish led by Don Gaspar de Portolà who arrived on November 2, 1769. This was the first documented European visit to San Francisco Bay, and Portola claimed it for Spain. Between 1774 and 1791 Spain sent a number of expeditions to explore and settle the central coastal areas of California from Monterey to the San Francisco Bay Area. "Mission Dolores", the Mission of St. Francis of Assisi, was founded in San Francisco in 1776. Russians settled Fort Ross and other towns on the northwest coast of California starting in 1812. California was under Mexican rule from 1821 until 1846 when it came under American rule. The Chinese arrived starting in 1849, the year after gold was discovered at Sutter's Mill in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada. The Chinese name for the area was jīn shān, "Gold Mountain" and that was used by the "coyotes" of that time to entice many Chinese workers to buy passage or be indentured for their passage by ship to California.

This information is a brief summary of what would be an extensive essay; I refer the interested reader to the articles on Wikipedia and the textbook Competing Visions: A History of California, 2013.

Colin

[Nigel Gordon]

Colinian I was speculating on the basis of an article I read a couple of years ago on DNA evidence that some members of the West Coast Native American tribes carry a DNA marker that is only found amongst them and amongst a small group of Han Chinese from the North Eastern coast of China and some Ainu villagers in Hokkaido. The evidence suggests that the marker in the North American population dates from somewhere between 800 and a 1000 years ago. The marker in the Chinese population goes back at least five thousand years.

Now the marker could have arisen spontaneously within the North American population, but given the level of match with the Chinese marker, this is considered unlikely. Evidence does indicate that in the period around 1000 years ago there was a much more extensive trade from North Eastern China along the Japanese archipelago and up to the low artic coast of present day Siberia. We know from 19th century records that Japanese seafarers plying these water were on occasions blown onto the Western Pacific coast of America by storms. It is possible that if the Chinese were in those same waters nine hundred years before, the same thing could have happened.

Linguistic studies of West Coast Native American languages have identified groups of related word which have a high similarity to similar word groups in Han Chinese. The fact that these word groups are highly specialised points more to absorption of the words from an external source rather than the words arising within the local language. There is also evidence of similarities between Native American pictographs from the Western Coastal regions and the forms used in Chinese Bone divination of the same period.

My personal belief on the basis of what I have read is that it is highly probably that there were instances where Han Chinese seafarers were blown off course and landed on the Pacific coast of North America in the period around 1,000 AD.

​Coming forward from that interaction there is also speculation that part of the Great Fleet of 1421 may have also got to the West coast of North America. This idea is explored by the writer Gavin Menzies in his book '1421'. Although widely dismissed as speculation by most mainstream historians there are quite a few who are prepared to accept the idea, at least in part. The ships of Zheng He were certainly capable of crossing the Pacific. It does appear that the Chinese had some clear knowledge of North America well before 1492.

[colinian]

Those markers are interesting though there's a lot of debate about which markers are present (other American Indian markers are East Asian and European; Chinese have East Asian, European, and African markers). There's no provable settlement history of Chinese in California prior to the mid-1800's. If anyone is going to repossess California it's going to be the native American Indian tribes. They can prove their lineage and presence in California; the Chinese don't have a chance to surpass (trump? [grin]) the American Indian tribe claims.

Colin

[Merkin]

I didn't realize California was up for grabs, but if that is the case then surely the Rosicrucians have a claim.

[Nigel Gordon]

I didn't realize California was up for grabs, but if that is the case then surely the Rosicrucians have a claim.

Don't the Illuminati already own it?

[Joe]

Nigel,

Just wondering if that marker could have been acquired from the great fleet by the Polynesian peoples and brought to CA by them. They managed to find Hawaii and populate it after a long voyage after all.

California should secede with Washington, Oregon and Hawaii. That would at least be an economically viable confederacy unlike the previous confederacy.