Raccoon bites off man's penis

[JamesSavik]

Raccoon bites off man's penis

Perth Now!

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January 27, 2009 11:00am

A RAGING raccoon has bitten off a pervert's penis as he tried to rape the animal.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with friends when he leapt on the terrified animal.

?When I saw the raccoon I thought I?d have some fun,? he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood. <<*

?He?s been told they can get things working again but they can?t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.

?That?s gone forever so there isn?t going to be much for them to work with."

_________________________

*- if he has such bad judgement about where he puts it, he probably doesn't need one.

[Tanuki Racoon]

Y'all hate when people discriminate against those of different sexual persuasions, but you think it's okay to have at the raccoon population? Fine.

[Cole Parker]

Not so fine when they bite the hand the feeds them, or the dick that. . . .

C

[Camy]

Aren't there any 'nice' Raccoon stories? I'm beginning to get the vaguest of feelings that Raccoons are getting a raw deal, and an ever so slightly tainted press.

If anyone tried the same with me they'd meet with a lovingly stropped razor sharp beak.

[Cole Parker]

Any who, may I inquire, has been doing this loving stropping?

C

[Camy]

Any who, may I inquire, has been doing this loving stropping?

C

You may enquire, but alas said beak is not only lovingly stropped, but firmly zipped!

[JamesSavik]

I for one think the raccon performed heroically.

If the drunken lout in question had the bad judgement to try to poke a raccoon, none of us beasts are safe.

and I will sleep better knowing that most of that idiots pecker is out of order and the rest isn't going anywhere for quite some time.

It's bad enough that we have to put up with humans and their everyday idiocy. I draw the line at having to put up with their wayward sex organs.

[DesDownunder]

I'm staying in my tree.

And I have installed a security alarm to warn of approaching humans.

[TalonRider]

Fortunately, this bird of prey has some Talons of steel, and a sharp beak to use for protection so the need arise.

[The Pecman]

I had some comical retorts, assuming our Wibby had gone off the deep end:

1) just another typical date in my neighborhood

2) I hope the guy was wearing a condom at the time

3) at least the guy got to keep his b@lls.

4) if you think that's bad, you should see what rabbits do on a first date.

5) that lady in Connecticut with the chimp had an even worse time.

6) I know that guy -- that would've been only a small snack, at best.

7) the man made a sound I would not like to hear twice... in my life.

8) you should see what the 'coon had for dessert.

Please, fill in the blank.

[Guest Fritz]

Camy asks, "Aren't there any nice raccoon stories?" Actually I thought this story was a great raccoon story. After all, the raccoon won and his manner of winning seemed very appropriate for the incident. What more can you ask. Let's hear it for the raccoon. Hip Hip Hurray.

[Camy]

Camy asks, "Aren't there any nice raccoon stories?" Actually I thought this story was a great raccoon story. After all, the raccoon won and his manner of winning seemed very appropriate for the incident. What more can you ask. Let's hear it for the raccoon. Hip Hip Hurray.

Fritz, what I meant by 'nice' was - for instance - 'Raccoon beats Lassie to Oscar' or 'Raccoon saves baby from flash flood.'

But as far as this story is concerned, I'm in full agreement with you. Hip Hip Hurrah!

Camy

[Cole Parker]

You people, with all your hips, are missing the part of the anatomy that was in play here.

C

[Tragic Rabbit]

if you think that's bad, you should see what rabbits do on a first date.

And you promised not to tell.

Chivalry is dead...

TR