Bruin Fisher

Hi Stuey, welcome! This is a first try? It's very good. A nice, natural, unforced writing style and a good storyline so far. My take on your questions (no doubt others will have something to say too): Don't compromise your NZ English - it gives additional flavour and interest to your story. In this global community most people can pick up regional variations in English and if they can't they'll ask. They'll be intrigued, not put off your story. I write Brit English and I get readers writing to say how much they like my Britishisms. Only once can I ever remember writing something explanatory for an American audience - I wrote about a CV, and put in a comment that it would be known as a resum? in the US. The ending of chapter 1 is enough to make the reader want to know what happens next, but not enough to make him squirm and go 'AARRGH - Don't stop there!'. Personally I want to know what happens next between Stephen and David more than I want to know what happens between Stephen and James, but I'll have to be patient. You ARE going to post subsequent chapters here, aren't you? As for the sex, it's a story about sex, you can hardly leave it out. Whether the amount is appropriate here at AwesomeDude I'll leave for others to comment on. You have to understand we're very sensitive - delicate consititutions, you know. If you could see us, we're all sat around in the drawing room, maiden ladies in twin set and pearls, sipping tea together out of the best Wedgwood, our little fingers pointed outwards, and discussing last Sunday's sermon. So you have to make allowances for us! I really enjoyed reading this and look forward to more. Bruin

Okay you wrote this nearly four years ago, TR, but I've only just read it. So I've traced the discussion thread and am posting to it - the first post here since January 2005! You guys out there, have you read Some Enchanted Evening? If not you really ought to. It's a beautiful piece of writing as everyone who's posted here says. Reminiscent of both Jane Austen's gothic novel Northanger Abbey, and William Shakespeare's fantastic drama A Midsummer Night's Dream, it tells a magical story featuring a crumbling mansion with creaky floorboards, and a young man who is neglected in childhood but finds a degree of happiness from his affinity with small wild things. If I say any more it will be a spoiler, so go read for yourself. You won't be disappointed. Bruin

I really like this poem, Trab, for lots of reasons, including that it describes something that I love. Minimalist camping in wilderness. Fantastic. The language is heroic, soaring, even though it's describing someone who's had to crawl out of his tent in the middle of the night stark naked for a pee! And the description of the majestic dome of the night sky in comparison with the tiny dome of the tent is very effective. Lovely and well worth reading and re-reading. What's the significance of the title? The height above sea level where you were camping? Bruin

The other day I walked down Gay Street, in the historic city of Bath in England. Gay was once a popular surname and a fashionable playwright was called John Gay - he wrote The Beggar's Opera in 1728. There's even a village called Gay Street (!) in West Sussex. Bruin

Aw, Des, how lovely! I'm going to read this again and again. It's the sweetest thing I've read in ages. Beautiful and heart-warming. Thank you so much. Bruin

This is a remarkable piece of writing, a detailed and precise description of a state of mind, a snapshot of a moment in a life, a defining moment, and a peek into a mind in turmoil. He's planning to come out to someone, right? And he needs all his courage to do so. Yup, I can empathise with that! Nice piece, Res. More? Bruin

Okay, just this once I will promise not to tell Camy, if you in turn promise to write more! I hope you realise what a big concession this is - I don't keep ANYTHING from Camy. Bruin

Hey, this is really cool. There's more to it than first appears, it's an examination of the destructive nature of living a lie as well as an emotive account of an episode in the life of a young person. Clever stuff. I'll leave it up to Camy who leads this forum to decide on the appropriate punishment for exceeding the 1,000 word limit.... Great writing. Thanks for it! Bruin

... to be played by Humphry Bogart, of course. Splendid atmospheric piece which achieves the goal of flash fiction: it does its job in VERY few words. Very clever, and very skillful writing. Brilliant, Richard. Can we have some more of your stuff? Bruin

Why not? It reads just fine without editing. I wouldn't have said it was in need of editing. If you can do this without editing, you can feel confident in showing us your work unedited. It's fine - don't sweat it! Bruin

Hey, this has probably been said a lot of times before (if not, why not?). AwesomeDude radio is brilliant. Its playlist is the most varied, eclectic mix I've ever heard and it alternately soothes and challenges me as I work. Fantastic - I've just listened to Frank Ifield singing 'I Remember You', of all things! Massive thanks are owing to his Dudeness for this service. Salaam, effendi! Bruin

Hey, Jason, great writing! Not escapist, not entertaining or uplifting - but that wasn't what you were going for, was it? This is powerful gritty stuff and packs a powerful punch. Work on those stomach muscles until you can take a punch to the gut (and have a six pack to die for), then read this! Bruin

It's intriguing and very promising but a little too obscure for a bear of very little brain. I'm with Camy on this one - if it was (much) longer the 'world' it inhabits could be described and explained for dim readers. One thing's for certain, it shows the author's got a lot of talent. I want to read more of your stuff! Bruin

It's not just Canon camcorders, it's not just Final Cut, audio sync seems to be a problem generally - and I haven't got it cracked. I used to have a PC with a digital TV tuner card which could schedule and record TV programmes. Very successful so long as I then watched the programmes on the PC. But if I burned them to DVD the audio sync always went adrift. Sometimes by several seconds. Hilarious. Never got to the bottom of it, although there are lots of techie websites devoted to advice on the subject. Use a very fast PC seems to be the best advice....You've put it in writing now, so you've got to do it. NaNoWriMo in November here we come! Go get last year's finished, I'll work on finishing mine and we'll both be raring to go by Nov 1st.Now go give M a big hug and tell him it's from your webmates.Bruin

Well done, Des, trust you to research it! So Cholmondeley is a surname - I'm sure I've come across it as a first name too. And Yes, I spelled it wrong. So shoot me. Don't want this thread to get sidetracked, though. CAMY'S STORY is endearing and enchanting and he should get a medal for it. Any suggestions? Booker Prize for Flash Fiction? Blue Peter badge for Riting? Nobel Prize for Nostalgia? You just gotta love a man who can write a story like that. Bruin

Algy? I could picture Camy as a Rupert or a Cholmondely but Algernon? Lovely evocative story. Must have been an interesting house, did it have a disused upstairs room with a wardrobe in it? Camy pulls it off once again - if you know what I mean - enchanting his audience with a little gem. Why? What else did you think I meant? Bruin

Thank you, Cole. I try to please! Bruin

Here's another one belatedly. Sorry - I only just spotted the thread. A popular poet from Milan Wrote poems that just do not scan. When his friends told him so, He replied: "Yes, I know - But I do like to get just as many words in the last line as I possibly can." Bruin

This is a great story that still forces a smile. It's a wonderful mental image as the clipboard-wielding official asks the guy 'are you Gay?' and he is forced to come out to the passengers around him, and then she insists he gets off the 'plane. It's a bit like the story I posted in Laughs and Limericks last March... Mr Gay's Airline Incident Bruin - no offense!

Bright, lazy and a pain in the butt? Doesn't sound like you at all.... Bruin

Great minds....

Whenever I have enjoyed reading a story I try to drop the author a line to say thank you. Cole's latest masterpiece, Domino(e)s, is rather different, though. This isn't just a good story, it's an important story. This is a simple story that highlights the bullying of gay kids in schools and by extension bullying in general. It brings the issue to life for those (too many of us) who are completely ignorant of its existence, or blind to its significance. And it shows powerfully how it can be dealt with. Now let's all of us be determined to do our bit - to speak up against bullying wherever it occurs. Bullies need approval and when they are met with disgust where they expect adulation, they'll run out of steam quickly. It works. And Cole has put that message across in a beautiful, heart-warming story. Pure genius. Give the man a Nobel Peace Prize. Bruin

For the next six days you can watch the whole programme (BBC1: The Making of Me) on John Barrowman's search for the answer, on the BBC iPlayer: The Making of Me - John Barrowman It's one hour long. I watched it last night and was fascinated. It's very good, and I would recommend it to everyone, gay or straight, bigoted or accepting. Barrowman himself suggests that straight people who don't like gay people should watch it... I've never tried using the iPlayer from outside the UK. Don't know if it's possible to prevent people who are not BBC licence payers from using it.... Bruin