Life in a Northern Town by Dabeagle

[Nigel Gordon]

There are times when the first few lines of a story grab you and hold you, like the opening lines of Mary Renault's 'The Charioteer'. Before you read anything else, from those opening lines alone you know it is going to be a good read. Unfortunately it is not often that happens but fortunately Dabeagle has done it in 'Life in a Northern Town'. From the very start the words grab you making the atmosphere of the situation a reality that you want to explore and one you will want to keep on exploring.

This first chapter has got hold of me, I can't wait to read the rest.

You can find it here: http://www.awesomedude.com/dabeagle/life-in-a-northern-town/life-in-a-northern-town-01.htm

[Lugnutz]

I've read it elsewhere. How he calls it substandard, I don't know. I like it. It's tense too.

[JamesSavik]

I like Nick already. Southern kid surrounded by yankees. Poor guy.

[Guest Dabeagle]

I know all the things people say about the creator being hardest on the work, but...

This was, I think, the third story I ever started and the first I didn't finish. It languished for nearly 15 years. One of the chief complaints was the florid opening monologue. I only finished it because Graeme and Merkin asked. Then, Cole made his fateful mistake. He said to me, something on the order of, 'is this in present or past tense? you have both'. Me, unthinking, said - well, it all happens now so...present I guess.

The original files from 2000 were revamped, errors in the plot and changing characters names were solved. The problem was that many of the characters were modeled on real people. A few of the side stories are true, the house is one I'd wanted to use in a story (the group home) and is an actual photo I took. Chapter 8 was started and incomplete from 2003, chapters 9 and 10 are all new.

My thanks to Cole for being who he is through this story. I hope you don't hate it as much as I do - and in chapter ten, Pat Benetar forgive - but bonus points if you spot it.

[Rutabaga]

I did notice some present and past tense but wasn't going to say anything. ?

R

[Lugnutz]

Critic.

[Graeme]

I'm not that critical. I just enjoy a well told story

[Rutabaga]

Wow. Good grief.

R

[JamesSavik]

Adam's mother. That screaming thing she did at the end of the chapter gave me a cold sweat.

Damn.

[JamesSavik]

OK- I love the story and went to hunt it down.

The only spoiler you'll get from me is that you'll love it.

[Paul Wren]

Can't wait to see where this is going to go, may have to go out hunting for it elsewhere.

[colinian]

I'm eagerly awaiting chapter 3.

Colin

[Rutabaga]

“It wouldn’t hurt for you to reign in your language either.”

Now there's an understatement. :-)

R

[Rutabaga]

I'm beginning to get an inkling of why this story may have been hard to finish, but I'm still very intrigued by what's going on so far.

R

[Hoskins]

"Boys are always up to something. It's axiomatic."

-- Osmond

(Nice call out, 10/10)

As the sky turns BLACK and ugly white worms pop from Richard's exposed arm...

[colinian]

A wonderful story. It's like a great meal. Every bite is there to be savored.

Colin

[Guest Dabeagle]

"Boys are always up to something. It's axiomatic."

-- Osmond

(Nice call out, 10/10)

As the sky turns BLACK and ugly white worms pop from Richard's exposed arm...

I'm unfamiliar with the quote. I got it from when I used to be a big Stephen King fan and read one of his best works, in my opinion, The Talisman. In it there is a character that says something similar about boys, I think that they are bad and refers to it being axiomatic. As a teen I didn't know what the word meant - so I looked it up and it has stuck ever since.

[Camy]

I'm unfamiliar with the quote. I got it from when I used to be a big Stephen King fan and read one of his best works, in my opinion, The Talisman. In it there is a character that says something similar about boys, I think that they are bad and refers to it being axiomatic. As a teen I didn't know what the word meant - so I looked it up and it has stuck ever since.

The quote is from The Talisman. Osmond as Sunlight Gardener, running his home for wayward boys (shudder).

[Rutabaga]

Possible but unlikely spoilers below.

I'm a bit confused by Adam's reaction to the statement that is quoted to him at the very end of this chapter. While I guess I can see the basis for what he does, insofar as it involves the other two people in question, it seems to me that another far more direct response would have been more plausible and appropriate insofar as the statement involves the future of Adam personally.

Unfortunately I don't know how to phrase this more clearly without crossing the spoiler line.

Am I missing something?

R

[Guest Dabeagle]

The quote is from The Talisman. Osmond as Sunlight Gardener, running his home for wayward boys (shudder).

Oh, I'd forgotten the mans' name.

[Guest Dabeagle]

Possible but unlikely spoilers below.

I'm a bit confused by Adam's reaction to the statement that is quoted to him at the very end of this chapter. While I guess I can see the basis for what he does, insofar as it involves the other two people in question, it seems to me that another far more direct response would have been more plausible and appropriate insofar as the statement involves the future of Adam personally.

Unfortunately I don't know how to phrase this more clearly without crossing the spoiler line.

Am I missing something?

R

I can't even figure out what you mean. Send me a PM.

[Rutabaga]

I can't even figure out what you mean. Send me a PM.

On its way.

And I guess the spoiler danger was minimal!

R

[Rutabaga]

Fuck a duck, could this night get any worse?

Yep, that pretty well sums up Chapter 9. Yes sir.

R

[Guest Dabeagle]

So I have to ask - did the last chapter just destroy this for you? There was a steady commentary until that last one hit and then - crickets.

[Rutabaga]

I never know what to say in the balance between meaningful commentary and unwanted spoilers. SO anyone worried about spoilers should stop here.

I was pleased by the number of breaks that suddenly seemed to go Adam's way. It was certainly high time.

It was never exactly clear to me why Joe and Scott were dealt with as they were, although it's not really critical to the story. Maybe I missed something earlier about the relevant ground rules for that home.

Overall, my only reaction is that the last chapter seemed to me to telescope two or three chapters' worth of resolution into one. In other words, in the pacing of the story, it was a bit of a surprise for things to sort themselves out as quickly as they did in that last chapter, and without more struggle on Adam's part. I guess when I read the last line in chapter 9 I was expecting more peril facing Adam than there turned out to be.

Hope that makes at least a bit of sense.

R