Life in a Northern Town by Dabeagle

[Guest Dabeagle]

*Reply Spoilers*

It does - because I did compress the time frame. My goal was to wind up this storyline into a reasonable conclusion. Even though it may not have come across clearly, the events of the final two chapters take place over a bit of time, so Adam's progression over that - given the stability of the group home, is more believable.

If there were two kids in a group home that were having sex, they'd be separated at best and transferred otherwise. Worst case is someone would get in trouble for 'rape' depending on the circumstances.

[colinian]

Nope, not for me.

Colin

[Guest Dabeagle]

Nope, not for me.

Colin

The ending was not for you?

[Nigel Gordon]

I know some people don't like the ending but I do, it fitted and it worked.

[Nigel Gordon]

I know some people don't like the ending but I do, it fitted and it worked. I thought this was going to be a good story from the start and it did not disappoint.

[Guest Dabeagle]

I know some people don't like the ending but I do, it fitted and it worked.

Well, I won't say I was afraid of that, but more that I expected that. My findings on writing have been that people tend to fall into two camps - not exclusively, but on the whole they have a preference for one versus the other.

The first camp is the one that prefers the 'fade to black' moments. I generally like these as well, even though a well placed and written sex scene can be quite powerful. I find that folks that want to find time twice a chapter frequently let the story suffer - and I've always been happier to write story than porn.

The second is the one that likes sex scenes peppered in either sporadically or liberally. I've gotten my fair share of 'where's the sex?' or 'when they gonna f*ck' type emails, because of my natural style. For that reason I think some folks weren't expecting that scene from me - which is too bad, because I thought it was a powerful scene. Not only that, if I feel it works within the story, then I'll do it or will seriously consider it.

Alas, you can't please everyone.

[Rutabaga]

My only real concern, as I noted earlier, is that I thought things wrapped up rather more quickly than the preceding chapters suggested they would. For example, issues concerning his mother. It seems that Adam was being sheltered from some of those issues, but as a result so was the reader. Then they suddenly went away without any actual effort or struggle on the part of Adam or his team. I was anticipating more peril and more possibility of things going sideways in the path toward the final outcome. That's all.

R

[Lugnutz]

It was a thorn for a long time while others took precedence until a couple people took turns on the thorn recently to get him to finish it. Didn't turn out bad for what was essentially a rush job.

[Guest Dabeagle]

Your point is valid. I was making the effort to finish off an old story and, as a result, I didn't tie up all the loose ends very well. There was a lot happening in the final two chapters and I used the easy way out - by compressing time and leaping ahead.

[Rutabaga]

I'm not trying to be critical -- you asked for feedback and that was my honest reaction. Truly, I wondered earlier on if you were going to be able to wrap things up at all, so I admire the fact that you did.

Now if only Alec and Sasha had been around . . .

R

[Guest Dabeagle]

Please, be critical. I'd rather have that than silence or platitudes. If it's something like 'not my personal taste' then, ah well. If it's that I didn't do a good job with something, then it should be discussed. I don't think that feedback has to mean you liked it or it was perfect - constructive criticism is critical, and that fact is you were right - I did rush it.

[JamesSavik]

I loved it.

OK. You have been warned.

Nick's pathology really bothered me. I think I've actually met the type- if you aren't messed up, they aren't interested. He was the sickest puppy in the story.

Randy was the real hero of the story. He was loyal and he was willing to step aside for Nick. You have to know that really sucked.

Given my experience, loyal is as sexy as it gets.

PS

Honest. That's my take on the story and i'm sticking to it.

[dude]

A well executed story and I was happy with the ending.

[colinian]

So I have to ask - did the last chapter just destroy this for you? There was a steady commentary until that last one hit and then - crickets.

This is what I was referring to when I posted this:

Nope, not for me.

As sometimes happens my reply was disconnected from what I was replying to. So you can see, "Nope, not for me" meant that last chapter didn't destroy it for me.

Colin

[Cole Parker]

This is what I was referring to when I posted this:

As sometimes happens my reply was disconnected from what I was replying to. So you can see, "Nope, not for me" meant that last chapter didn't destroy it for me.

Colin

But see, Colin, that's why they invented the quote button. You click on it and it brings what you're responding to to the screen so there won't be that 'disconnected' confusion.

I do get so tired of trying to explain to Colin just how to use computers and navigate sites and stuff.

C

[Camy]

Don't worry, Cole. Once Colin has another few decades under his belt he's sure to understand computers better.

[Cole Parker]

We can only hope.

C

[Cole Parker]

Colin helps me, an imbecile when it comes to computers, with so much technical stuff, the ridiculousness of writing this appealed to me.

C

[Merkin]

I'm very grateful that someone, maybe Colin, showed Cole he could write stories using his computer's word processing program.

[dude]

I'm very grateful that someone, maybe Colin, showed Cole he could write stories using his computer's word processing program.

Are you kidding...? I get Cole's manuscripts scrawled in longhand (Comic Sans) on the back of envelopes!