The Golf Pro

[colinian]

Taking a wee break from the golf course, golf pro Rory McElroy drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.

An attendant greets him in a typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is... “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya”

As Rory gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.

“What are those things, laddy?” asks the attendant.

“They’re called tees,” replies Rory.

“And what would ya be usin’ ’em for, now?” inquires the Irishman.

“Well, they’re for holding my balls when I’m driving," replies Rory.

“Aw, Jaysus, Mary, an’ Joseph!” exclaims the Irish attendant. “Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything!”

Colin

[Pedro]

Hi Colin

Thanks for sharing that with us.

However, whatever font/colour combination you used disappeared into the AD black ground. All was revealed with 'reader view'(?).

I know this is a rendition thing on my iPad. As another example Cole's favourite font is rendered as a spindly italic that is very difficult to read.

So, and I address this to all who like to something other than plain vanilla, please post as is your wont. Just don't be surprised if you get some blank looks from your readers on iPads....... Unless I am doing something wrong.

Cheers all

Oh ! And I had to groan, the joke is probably older than you Col

[Lugnutz]

I just left click and highlight it. Not a big deal for me. I need some tee's

[Rutabaga]

This forum software does strange things when it detects a mobile browser. I posted about it a long time ago but apparently it's a booger to try to modify. I see the same things on my iPhone.

R

[Cole Parker]

John does check how stories appear on number of devices and sets them so they'll appear as they're supposed to. I don't know how possible that is with the forum. He does a marvelous job.

Lug's suggestion is what I do, although using Ctrl/A to highlight it, or holding down the left mouse button and scrolling through it.

C

[Bruin Fisher]

Hmm. Colin's post was black text on dark grey background on my laptop (Firefox in Ubuntu Linux). Didn't faze me, I just selected the text and it was readable.

[Rutabaga]

Somewhere there are font substitution and background settings that could be tweaked. Mobile devices work best if forum posts are made with the default settings and no styling or color changing of text.

R

[colinian]

I use the standard IP.Board theme. That's a white background with whatever color text you want (but the darker the better) can be used. If, however, you don't mess with color of the text then IP.Board will make what in that format looks like standard black on white and it's readable with the white on black Paradox theme. However, when several posters, including Cole, use other light colors that look great on the black background of the Paradox theme they become invisible to anyone who uses the standard IP.Board theme. So what I have to do is highlight the entire post then it becomes white on a blue background and I can read it.

The problem with the (yeah, really old) joke is that it looked like it was black on white in an email a friend sent me, so when I copied and pasted Pedro says it was hidden. My guess is that it wasn't pure black text, but a shade of grey.

BTW, I find the white on black Paradox theme makes posts hard to read.

I assume everyone can see this post without any problems, even with the Paradox theme. Yes, you can. I just switched to Paradox and this post became white on black. Then I switched back to the IP.Board theme.

Also, I fixed the joke by copying the text to Notepad, deleting the entire contents from the post (in edit mode), and copying and pasting the text from Notepad. It's perfectly readable now.

Colin

[Merkin]

...Also, I fixed the joke...

Colin

Nope. Same old joke.

[Bruin Fisher]

I liked the joke...

[Cole Parker]

I've often found when I copy something and then post it on the forum, it's unreadable for a couple of reasons. I've learned the best way to handle that is copy it to Word first and then clear the formatting. Doing that leaves it black on white in Word, and when posted it transforms to light gray on dark gray—or black if you wish to call it that—on the forum page with no problem.

C

[Nick Deverill]

As a rule for me, going via Word will really mess things up. So I go via Notepad++ (freeware) as it gives quite a few useful advantages, and handles large files too.

[Pedro]

I see the joke now.

[ChrisR]

I object!

How long must we Irish folk suffer with being the butt of your Anglophil jokes? Oh sure, and we need a town spanner and there's good ol' Paddy now. He's so scuttered, won't be knowing a damned thing for nothing. He's the gammy eejit. Well ye can all póg mo thóin.

Saol irish ábhar!

</rant>

I feel better now. Perhaps you can explain the joke to me slowly over at the pub. And you're buyin'.

[Cole Parker]

I object!

How long must we Irish folk suffer with being the butt of your Anglophil jokes? Oh sure, and we need a town spanner and there's good ol' Paddy now. He's so scuttered, won't be knowing a damned thing for nothing. He's the gammy eejit. Well ye can all póg mo thóin.

Saol irish ábhar!

</rant>

I feel better now. Perhaps you can explain the joke to me slowly over at the pub. And you're buyin'.

Say what?

[colinian]

I've often found when I copy something and then post it on the forum, it's unreadable for a couple of reasons. I've learned the best way to handle that is copy it to Word first and then clear the formatting. Doing that leaves it black on white in Word, and when posted it transforms to light gray on dark gray—or black if you wish to call it that—on the forum page with no problem.

C

Cole, just copy it to Notepad then copy it from Notepad to the forum. That strips the formatting and it's faster than using Word.

Colin

[Cole Parker]

I don't use Notepad. So there.

C

[Lugnutz]

Me too neither.

[colinian]

I don't use Notepad. So there.

C

Me too neither.

You should. It's free and it's lightweight and it opens fast and it doesn't do much because it isn't fancy and doesn't do colored text and doesn't have a spell checker and doesn't support images and etc. But it's great way to keep quick notes and to convert stuff almost magically and without any fuss so you don't have to otherwise fuss with the stuff to paste it into the forums here.

Colin

[Cole Parker]

What's wrong with Word? It works fine for me, and using Notepad would mean a new learning curve in a less-powerful application. Clearing formatting in Word is hardly arduous; it's one click. Besides, if I want to make any changes in what I'm going to post, it's far easier to do in Word.

When I get files from people in Notepad to edit, I always copy them to Word first.

C

[Rutabaga]

Word is not trustworthy to truly clean away all the crud in text. Notepad inherently does so flawlessly because it's incapable of allowing anything beyond the most basic ASCII stuff to exist in a file. It's bulletproof.

R

[colinian]

Word is not trustworthy to truly clean away all the crud in text. Notepad inherently does so flawlessly because it's incapable of allowing anything beyond the most basic ASCII stuff to exist in a file. It's bulletproof.

R

You're absolutely correct! I also use Notepad for all kinds of things, including for making notes and including them in a folder with files I'm working on. An example is the source and copyright information for images I download from the internet and include with the stories I post on CW and AD.

Colin