Cole Parker

The is no barn in this story. None. Nada. Sentient or insensate. This is a story set in an urban setting. For all I know, none of the characters have ever seen a barn. Let's forget barns. Judy Garland doesn't make an appearance, either.

I already wrote a story about a barn, much like the one I played basketball in as a teenager. Barns are much better used for playing basketball than putting on amateur theatricals, especially if you're playing shirts vs. skins and the players are cute and sweaty.

I've managed another, bending to the supplications of the sadists among you. It's about a boy and girl who need money to by a friend a new wheelchair and find an old barn that isn't being used and decide to get up a band and put on a show, and—oh, wait. No, it's not about that at all! Thank heaven! But it is coming soon. Whatever it is. C

That's marvelous!

Two of my very favorite stories at AD, ones I've read several times, are featured in Picks from the Past this month, Triptychs by Douglas and Being Gay Sucks by Ruthless. I may have to add Gee's entry; I admit to not remembering it, but his writing is always outstanding, among the very best. Anyone not having read any of these is in for a major treat. I'd suggest reading Douglas' Here's Looking at You, Kid before Triptychs if you have read it as it introduces the characters, and is a magnificent story in and of itself. Mike's providing a real treat with these suggestions. C

I think it was Dragnet that always proclaimed: The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Much less. We have a dog. As your cats are smitten with you, our dog stays close to my partner all day everyday, and when there's reason to be out and about, the dog whines until the inevitable return peps him up again. It's funny, really, and I don't have to bother with the feeding or yard cleanup this way. Works a treat.

Just as good as ever. Yours is the only blog that guarantees me a laugh when I start to read it. I always worried about your dugged-up-iveness. So happy you quit that. But replacing it with cats? Now I question your sanity. Dogs are much better. And won't stain the carpets. Trust me. C

Thanks, R.

I could easily make that group a foursome! C

Thanks, Oliver. I have another coming. Not too long, I hope.

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I was taking it out or putting it away." The second lady said, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs, and I can't remember whether I was on my up, or on my way down." The third lady chimed in, "Well, I'm glad I don't have those problems. Knock on wood." With that, she rapped her knuckles on the table, then said, "That must be the door. I'll get it."

Wow! Fixed! Great job, Mike! C

Camy? Poorly behaved? Surely you jest! C

That sounds like the fodder for some great stories, Bear. Either fiction or fact-based. What are you waiting for? C

Bad news, Brits!

Isn't it possible that if they decide to go nuclear, some of those fossils that haven't been well maintained would blow up in the Russian silos, and the external war would come to a quick end?

I did. Fine story. We tend to forget our early time, but I can relate.

Two more verses: Russian Major General - To be sung (loudly) to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan's 'Modern Major General' from The Pirates of Penzance. I like to ride big horsies semi clothed to get my nipples hard A macho man I will admit I like my saddle rubbed with lard And if I press the button that's secreted in my underwear The world will be amazed because they all think that I wouldn't dare! Those suggesting I'm a fool are now all in a common grave Families too and pets the nannie's pleading simply couldn't save I am strict and kind and harsh and quite ecclesiastical I am the very model for a Russian Major-General! I have a major complex that underlines my inferiority As a child I burned ants, then dogs, then the proletariat majority I’d tell the world how swell I am but I’m told I sound too guttural That’s because I grew up to be a Russian Major-General Now I eat caviar, Borst, Kamchatka crabs and blini too While watching Ukraine women on their knees crying boo-hoo-hoo. Their children are being buried in a massive youthful funeral That’s what you do when your are a Russian Major-General

How about, for England, Reigning Princes?

I love you guys quibbling about suspending belief, or disbelief, when following the plot of these tales. The entire story is basically unbelievable, which accounts for most of their charm. So why is one incident more or less objectionable than another? C

Have to agree, hard to argue Camy's point. Fry wins. Fry wins. Fry wins. C

I noticed the rhythm, too, but don't read German and so onlyh knew that it suggested some other natigve lalnguage.

And he makes a mean stollen. Perhaps you're right. Some of his idioms certainly aren't American, and I doubt they're British, either. C